Saudade
by michaela321
Summary: "A pleasure you suffer, an ailment you enjoy." Mostly Bonnie-centric, main pairing Bamon, AU post season 6.
1. Chapter 1 - Boulevard of broken dreams

_****_Saudade \- a Portuguese term, that describes __a state of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia for a person or a thing that is absent or never was there._****_

* * *

 **Chapter 1 - Boulevard of broken dreams**

New York City, New York

 _Dear Elena,_

 _NY is perfect. I can't get enough of all the excitement and acceleration this town works on. I am so happy and glad to be experiencing all of this. The city that never sleeps has its charms working on me constantly. The brilliant and modern structure of the architecture with such fine note of long history makes me think how small Mystic Falls actually is. One street in NY is the size of the entire MF. The urbanism works constantly making the people literally move in sync with time. Here everybody has their own goals and achievements, and nobody sticks their noses into other people's business. It's fun and normal to be just an everyday person, a number in one of the biggest and most alive cities in the world. It's exhilarating to stand in the middle of the Grand Central Station and feel the rush and noise of every day's journeys people take and feel such calmness and historical tranquillity. Or to absorb the stillness and gallantness of the Guggenheim and simultaneously enjoying the burst of attainments, skills, and sagacity. This is definitely my type of enjoyment._

 _I just wish you were here too, so that we could enjoy it together._

 _Your dearest friend,_

 _Bonnie._

She sat in her hotel room, with a writing pen in her hand and the journal opened widely in front of her, determined to write everything she was doing and where she was going, so that one day her friend would have the insight in her life, that she didn't have the ability now.

She closed the journal and stood up from the desk, walking slowly over to the window. Her feet were barefoot, brushing against the soft carpet beneath her, calming her legs that were tired from all the walking. She has spent the last two days walking around the city, exploring and sightseeing.

She sighed heavily, crossing her arms over her chest, as she looked out of the window at all the bright lights and heavy coloring of the night town.

New York.

A transitional point. It's all it was suppose to be. Just a temporary stopping point where their flight was supposed to depart to take them to their next location.

They were supposed to buy the tickets and the next day embark on the flight. That was the deal four days ago. Before Damon decided to turn a 6-hour drive to New York, into a two days long drive by stopping at almost every bar, drinking all the bourbon they had and passing out at the local cheap motel rooms.

Never the less, they manage to get to New York somehow, but the plane was something that was the last thing on Damon's mind. Tonight, he took Alaric at some bar and they were once again repeating the travel routine through.

Bonnie wasn't so keen on spending her first time in New York getting wasted so that she couldn't remember anything. She was on vacation and it was time to relax. Of course, that was inexplicably hard when you had all the burden she had on her soul.

It couldn't escape from her mind, that she was the blame on all of this, and how everything could've easily be fixed if she would just simply - _die_. But, that was something no one could do or say out loud. She was aware, what a burning image she must've been to the people who preferred Elena instead of her in place.

She had always been, Bonnie, the best friend. She was always second best, the sidekick, the one in the shadow of the girl who was everybody's first choice. The truth of the matter, Bonnie welcomed that kind of existence. It gave her the ability to blur out into the background, not to be noticed by the world. And she could have lived all of her life in her best friend's shadow and be happy. But, now, she was forced to live without that person constantly overshadowing her and she learned she didn't need that person to keep on living. Sure, she still didn't know who exactly she was or what her limits were... but she wanted to find out, she wanted to learn, she wanted to thrive in it.

Something kept stopping her in it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the vibrating sound of her phone. She turned around and walked back over to the desk where her phone was. She unlocked it and saw there was a new text. She sighed hard reading the drunk-ish blur of her friend.

 _SOS bON Bon...bar NOOW? & XoOXo Damon ;)_

* * *

"Are you kidding me with this Damon?" She asked him exasperated looking at the scene in front of her and the wasted vampire standing beside her. "This is why you called me?"

"Who else am I suppose to call?" he slurred drunkenly.

She looked back at the man who was passed out laying down on the floor of the bar with a bourbon bottle in his hands hugging it like a child would hug his favorite teddy bear. The rest of the bar was empty, except for the redhead bartender that was wiping the bar with a towel, not minding them at all. Bonnie wasn't sure if she was compelled or maybe she was just used to the kind of situation, with passed out costumers on the floor of the bar.

"What do you expect me to do?"

Damon shrugged his shoulders. She rolled her eyes and shaking her head, walked over to the sleeping Alaric, taking the bourbon out of his hands and disapprovingly looking over to the blue-eyed vampire.

"Com' on, help me get him up. We need to get him to his room." She told him. Luckily the hotel they were staying at was just a street away.

"You do understand we are all supposed to be at the airport in less than five hours? I am not rescheduling our flight once again because you two can't seem to lay off the booze for a couple of hours." She told him as she was holding Ric under one of his arms over her shoulders while Damon held the other one. They walked out of the bar and started walking towards their hotel.

"Relax. We'll put him in a bed and he'll sleep it off and be good as new in the morning." Damon responded casually.

That was easier said than done. Bonnie wanted to believe Damon, but unfortunately, these past few days, she learned just how unreliable he was right now.

The moment they laid him on the bed, he started snoring. Alaric didn't move from his spot as they settled him under the covers. Bonnie observed him, as he made sounds of a peaceful sleep. He was dead drunk and it still couldn't make her mad. This guy had lost so much, it was uncanny how he ever found the strength to wake up every day and get up from bed. There was sadness, bitterness, and resentment written on his face, sometimes so intense, that it hurt Bonnie to actually look at him.

They all lost a lot, Bonnie herself had experienced the bitterness of the tears from losing someone you love, but it was a burden from the supernatural aspect of their lives. Being a vampire, a werewolf or a witch, you should've known death would follow you around. But, Alaric could have stayed out of it. He could have left Mystic Falls so many times and maybe find himself a new life, where his potential family had a chance. The potential family that was cold bloodedly murdered by a psychopath that she indirectly triggered.

"Wanna go grab a drink?"

She turned in the direction of the man who asked her that question, with a raised eyebrow. He stood at the doorway, his body practically dangling and his eyes in a drunken haze.

 _Was he joking?_

 _Probably not._

If there was one thing she knew surely, it was that Damon never joked about alcohol or drinking.

"No." She said shaking her head incredulously. "I'm not going to that filthy old bar from where we just dragged our unconscious friend."

"Well, I wasn't thinking about _that_ bar. It's way too far, my legs wouldn't work for that long. Let's go downstairs. There's a bar at the hotel." He said almost flatly.

"No, Damon." She snorted irritated. "I'm not letting you try to drink me under the table like you just did to Ric."

"Don't be so dramatic. It's one drink." He rolled his eyes at her.

She shook her head at his ridiculous behavior and turned her back on him, setting her eyes back on the sleeping man in the room. She ignored that he stepped inside of the bedroom to stand next to her.

"Come on, Bon Bon. You know you want to." Damon poked her in her shoulder jokingly.

"We can't leave Ric alone in his state." She said looking at the guy passed out on the bed.

"He'll be fine. He'll sleep 'till morning anyway." He said waving his hand dismissively. Bonnie turned her head in the vampire's direction, who was looking at her amusingly. Judging by his face expression, he was quite sure she was going to say yes.

And she was. But how the hell did he know that?

"One drink." she promised.

* * *

She watched the liquid in her glass. The beautiful brown and golden notes glimmering in the light. The hard, brisk smell of alcohol coming out of it. She neared the glass slowly to her lips, the liquid entering her mouth, feeling the sharp taste of it on her tongue. She kept it in, squishing it around and slowly letting it pour down her throat.

A loud knock of another glass on the table filled her ears. She looked over at the man sitting on her opposite. He had a slight drunk stare and his eyes were glossy. He didn't say anything. She didn't either. A soft jazz music was playing in the background. They were sited in an empty bar in the lobby of their hotel. It didn't seem important now that they had a flight to catch in about four hours. He filled their drinking glasses again with the expensive bourbon he took from the bar. He downed his in one large sip, while she slowly savored the taste of hers. He poured another one to himself, downing it instantly.

Then, he stood up suddenly, surprising her by offering her a hand.

"Dance with me." He said casually.

She frowned, looking at his hand questioningly.

He wanted to dance? Now? At 4 o'clock in the morning?

He shook his hand at her again, speechless asking her to dance and after a beat she hesitantly accepted.  
He took her hand, bringing her closer to himself. He looked at their joined hands, putting his other hand on the small of her back and letting the music lead their feet.

A shiver run through her when his hand touched hers, one that she decided to ignore and setting her other hand on his shoulder. Their bodies were not pressed against each other, there was still space between them, so she felt a need to fill in that blank.

"Why are we doing this?" she asked him silently.

"Shhhhh." He shushed her softly and pulled her body closer to his.

She gave in, going along with the soft, quiet music. They let the notes and lyrics of the song lead them along. They moved in subtle, slow steps. For the first time, since Elena's absence, Bonnie felt close to him again. Ever since that day, they've been so distant, not letting the subject of the linking lives come up. They both felt hurt like there were some big gaps in their hearts, ones that no one other could fill in.

This was a place where they came to terms with each other, where they accepted their lives, that seemed to constantly intertwine with one another, even if they wanted it or not. Like some consolation prize, they got while the winning lottery ticket kept slipping away through their fingers. They were messy and lost and scared from so many different things, but in the end, they made a perfect fit. Crippled by other people, by themselves alone, they couldn't seem to escape each others company.

She was the girl that would stay with him, the girl he needed and the one he got. He was the guy that stayed with her, the guy she needed and the one she got.

With all the complications entering constantly their lives, embarking them like shadows above their heads, they managed to find peace with each other. Here, in some hotel bar, on their way to a journey of their lives, with bourbon and slow jazz rhythm, they finally found themselves again.

And it was final, and it was peaceful. And it was simple - They were not some burden people, with worries and problems constantly overlapping them. They were not scared or broken. Not tonight. They healed themselves with nothing but a song, some sweet fleeting touch of a hand and no words necessary. They were simple, because they were not simple at all.

But, they were Bonnie and Damon. And nobody knew it better than they did.

* * *

Moscow, Russia

Man, were her feet killing her. She was walking through town for the longest time. She noticed a bench on the side and dragged herself over there. When she sat down she sighed hard.

Looking around herself Bonnie smiled softly. She was in Moscow. Finally. After a 10 hour flight over, she was finally in this historical huge city. She took out her journal and pen from her purse, crossing her legs over, she settled as comfortably as she could, to write down her thoughts.

 _Elena,_

 _I can't believe I am in Moscow. Right now, I'm sitting in one of the beautiful big parks, on a bench, surrounded by green grass and colorful flowers. Everything is so huge around here. The streets are too long, the buildings are enormously huge, it's ridiculous how small I feel right now. But, I am loving it. Very much. The 10-hour-long flight over was definitely worth it. As you can imagine, Damon and Ric spend those 10 hours sleeping and curing their hungover with vodka and bourbon shots at the plane. It was Damon's bright idea, because apparently 'you fight fire with fire'. Anyway, I call that 'their loss, my gain'. They are stuck in a hotel room, sleeping with a headache, while I am out, exploring the beautiful offerings of this unforgettable town, with nobody to bother me with stupid questions. I think I found a part of my peace, here in this place. I just hope I won't lose it again._

She punctured a dot at the end of her writing, raising her head up, so she could look around. What she didn't write to Elena, was how that newfound part of peace wasn't actually because of some old historical city, even though it did bring a certain happiness and brightness to her life. It was the calmness and warmth she felt from last night's dance with Damon. She didn't want to admit it out loud, how much it meant to her, how much it opened her point of view and just how much it affected her heart.

It seemed wrong to write it down like that, because she was afraid Elena could take that somehow differently, or somehow wrong. Which was...ridiculous, because it's not like there was anything to read wrong into it. It was just a simple dance, between two friends, who have both lost so much and were on a journey to find those lost pieces, and it was just so funny that maybe they didn't need to be on the other end of the world for that. In a way, they were each other's lost pieces and they were standing beside each other, all this time.

* * *

Paris, France

 _Dear Elena,_

 _I am writing you from the most romantic city in the world, Paris, France. It's true what they say about this place and its entire country, it is magical. And it means something coming from a witch like me. (insert evil witchy chuckles ) It has the ability to make you feel special, even though you're just another number, namely a tourist number, but still. The beautiful parks, streets, and people around me are the biggest treasure this country can offer you. So many sights in this town and I honestly can't decide which one I like the most. The Louvre Museum, Notre Dame Cathedral, the everlasting Eiffel Tower or the National Museum of Modern Art. Those are just some of the unavoidable places you simply have to see._

 _It's true, I feel a little sad that I am sightseeing alone, not to mention being single in Paris, but I guess that's just life. Alaric is still having a hard time dealing with everything and Damon is with him constantly keeping an eye on him and being a good friend. Even so, that's not exactly the company I've been hoping to have... I have to honest with you, Elena. I'm lonely. And longing for love. It's been a long time since I had anyone and it's-_

She stopped. Her writing pen lingered above the paper as she observed the last words she wrote. It felt so weird writing this to somebody who is going to read it in about sixty years. And _if_ she is even going to read it, at all.

I mean, let's be honest. When Elena wakes up the first thing she is going to do is reunite with their friends ( well, the ones that will be left off) and with Damon. And she is going to be _reuniting_ with Damon for a very loooong time, trying to make up for the lost time. The last thing Elena is going to want to do, is read about her sad thoughts and feelings. Realistically, she is going to have Caroline tell her absolutely everything she missed on, and the later is going to do it with great details, so she won't even have the need to read the journals Bonnie would leave to her.

She could almost see it now. Elena and Caroline talking at the boarding house over morning coffee, while the Salvatore brothers would be sleeping and recharging their energies. They will be laughing and catching up, revealing the truth which one of the sleeping men is better in bed. Going shopping together and planning trips for a romantic couple's retreat, having brunch at the Grill and maybe occasionally visiting her grave. At first, at least. Then later, they will forget about it, because they will have bigger things to do, like save Elena from her week's trouble or hostage swaps. All the while her journals, the ones she keeps writing so passionately, gather dust at the Salvatore attic storage.

She ripped the page out, jamming the paper and leaving it on the small table next to her cold coffee and half-eaten croissant.

She rewrote the first half as previous, and leaving an optimistic, but not in the least her thoughts in this moment.

 _As Audrey Hepburn would say: La Vie En Rose. It is the French way of saying, 'I am looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.'_

* * *

 _Flash forward, 5 years later_

 _Garry Wilson was his regular_ _customer. He came in daily and it always fascinated him. The man was 39 years old, yet he looked like he was in his mid-twenties. He had style, class, and charm. He had the best wardrobe in town, only specifically chosen brands could be found in the man's closet of choice. He had swagger in his walk, something that turned everybody's heads around. He had the ability to take notice wherever he stepped inside._

 _Thomas, himself, was different. He was in his early 30s, and sometimes he felt like he was in his 60s or 70s. He had exactly two suits in his closet, and the rest of it, were sweaters and shirts and comfy pants, all of which was bought by his girlfriend. He felt awkward and weird in almost everything he did. Like he didn't belong here, like he was only doing things because somebody else expected him to do so. There were no things he wanted, things he had no desire for._

 _But, strangely enough, he was happy. He was satisfied with his life. He knew he had reached his peak and he was fine with it._

 _And yet again, he felt like something was missing. Something he shouldn't miss, something he shouldn't want._

 _It was like when you buy yourself a French vanilla ice cream flavor when you really wanted Russ „Digs" Roseberry flavor. The French vanilla tastes fine and you will be full after eating it, but you just know you would have more fun with the Russ ice cream. And Thomas had a feeling he was living a french vanilla kind of life when he craved for some Roseberry mix up. And the worst thing about it, he was conflicted, conflicted with the guilt that kept creeping inside of him, for even thinking how he could have something more._

 _He already had all he wished for. A great job, a great girl, a great house, and a great life. He had no right wanting more. But, still, there it was...in the back of his mind. Showing up at times, whispering little words into his ear, like:_

 _"You can have so much more. You can be so much more. You can live so much more."_

 _It drove him crazy. The voices, the faces of the people he didn't know, but somehow did all together. Especially, HER face. The woman who haunted his dreams again and again. The face and the voice he started to listen and look for when he fell asleep. The foreign smell of strawberries in her hair, the golden spots in her discolored eyes, the curve of her unfamiliar neck, the feel of her never touched by him skin. She was a goddess, that would appear, just as a silhouette and even though he had no idea who she was, somehow he knew exactly who she was. She was his savior. The escape from the boring reality. The only possible safe place for him where his all dreams come true. And how ironic it was, that he could only see her in his dreams._

 _His attention was brought back to Gary and a woman he was talking to. They had a drink and now he was pulling her by the hand as she shyly placed her palm in his and let him lead her to the jukebox. He played some soft jazz song and they took a stand for dancing. He held her around her waist, not too tightly, she had her arms around his neck, and there was a polite distance between them. Still, there was a flame burning between them, something that everybody noticed. A warm, hot tension, that only raised with the more they moved to the music._

 _Thomas watched them dance slowly in the middle of the bar like there was nobody around them. It was like they were all alone, and in truth, they were, alone on the dance floor. But, there was something in that dance, something in their moves, faces, touches. There was some certain intimacy between them, some privacy only the two of them understood. He swayed her easily around, looking at her like she was the only woman in the room._

 _Thomas didn't understand why he felt so uneasy watching them. Why did he feel like he was missing on something, like the connection the dancing pair shared was a reminder of some unfamiliar part of him. He danced with his long-term girlfriend Danielle before, but never like this. There were so many emotions in this dance, it made him feel jealous. Jealous, of the people he knew only from passing along, it was ridiculous. But he wanted that, that deep feeling of bonding with someone that goes beyond anything else. He wanted that kind of chemistry. And the strangest part..he didn't exactly want it with Danielle. He wanted it with someone else. He wanted it...with HER._

* * *

 _ **New story. Confusing? I hope so. Angsty? You have nooo idea. Bamon? You betcha!**_

 _ **So, what exactly can I say about this? I came with this idea a long time ago, somewhere around when season 7 had started and I wrote some of it, but it wasn't meant to be published. I wrote solely for my own satisfaction. Recently, I got the inspiration to write more of it again and I decided to publish it. I was skeptical and not at all prepared for this role costar because it was bound to be very angsty and at times a bit dark.**_

 _ **As already mentioned, the timeline is post season 6, and it will follow the Bamon Euro trip, along with some storylines of season 7. It's basically me rewriting the mess Julie Plec created and making it a little messier. xD  
**_

 ** _Flashforwards will be featured, as you can see. The first one might be a little confusing with the characters, but it will all make sense eventually... Later on. The plan is to make it sort of a short introduction to the real thing. I make no sense, I know... but I really hope you give it a chance. This story is very dear to me, because it gave me a chance to write all my thoughts down, when I went through a very difficult stage of my life. Recently, I found myself in a similar, but much more harder situation and decided to give this piece some closure.  
_**

 ** _It will be a bit longer one and I can't promise when I will be updating. I have two more stories I am trying to finish, and million of other ideas for some new fics.  
_**

 ** _Also, I got a lot of inspiration for writing from songs, and at that time I was really into jazz and that stuff. So, the chapters will mostly be titled by the songs or lyrics, that inspired it and the list of songs will be at the end of the chapters._**

 ** _This one was inspired by Halie Loren, Boulevard of broken dreams. Stunning song, you should listen to it._**

 ** _Thank you for reading, and please follow, favorite, review, whatever you like, I'm looking forward to hearing what you think._**

 ** _;) Michaela  
_**


	2. Chapter 2 - Non vivo più senza te

**Chapter** **2 - Non vivo più senza te**

Rome, Italy  


Europe was beautiful, this time of the year, although a little too warm. Maybe taking a summer trip was one of the bad ideas, but it's not like she had a choice. Damon and Alaric wanted the summer. Easy for them, when all they did was drink, drink and drink. You don't need a specific time or weather for that. But, for her, this was something new. She wanted to explore the countries so that she could say one day she hadn't wasted her life for anything.

But, seriously, the warm and hot summer temperatures were killing her.

She found some cold peace in the air condition sitting on a train in their way to Sicily. After visiting Paris, they've been to Berlin, Prague, Budapest and Rome. It wasn't such a big problem dragging the two alcohol inhibited men along. All she had to do was buy them a ticket and shove them to on a plane or a train. As long as they had bourbon or vodka, they were fine with it.

Even though Damon said he didn't care what cities and countries they visited and he had willingly handed over Bonnie the plan of their trip, there was one place he demanded they went to.

 _Dear Elena,_

 _We are just leaving Rome. We are riding on a train, (God bless the air conditioning) on our way to some small town, which name I forgot, in Sicily. It has been Damon's only wish, so I had to grant it to him._ _I have to admit, he has been behaving himself for now._

She raised her eyes to look up from the journal and directed it on the landscape that was hurriedly disappearing at the window. Yes, Damon has been behaving himself, or at least he has been for the number of times they interacted through this trip. Truth was, Damon and her haven't had many contact ever since they stepped on the European ground. Or a plane that led them to it. The last time, she could remember when they actually spend time together was New York.

And even then, they didn't talk too much. They just drank and... danced. It was kind of sad that she was missing him when he was with her and beside her almost all the time. But, there was Ric too, and she knew that he had the upper hand at Damon's company, right now.

Bonnie shook her head and sat up straight, pressing her pen back on the paper and continued to write.

 _Can you believe Damon has friends in Sicily? Yeah, neither can I. But, sure enough, we are on our way over to them._

She abruptly stopped the writing again when she felt a body sliding down into the seat next to her. She raised her eyes to the intruder and seeing who it was, she smiled softly and abandoned her writing pen, sticking it between the pages she was currently busy filling.

„Hey." The tall handsome man greeted her.

„Hey, yourself." She answered, looking at Alaric's big brown eyes, failing to notice the drunken stare he was supposed to be having.

 _Is he sober?_

 _No way._

„What's up?" she asked him.

„Nothing. You?"

Bonnie shook her head at him, noticing a hint of concern in his eyes, right now. He looked somehow dejected and bothered, so it provoked a curiosity in her. He usually looked like that when something wasn't going the way he imagined it going, or when something potentially bad was going to happen.

She jerked in alarm.

„Oh my God, what did he do?!" she asked sitting up and looking around the train to find Damon or any sign of the mess he provoked.

„What?" Alaric snorted and laughed at her reaction, grabbing her hand and pulling her to stay in her seat. „Bonnie, calm down. Everything's fine."

„Are you sure?" she asked not convinced, her eyes still wide opened and in search for anything unusual. „Cause, you have 'worry' over your face and that usually means he screwed something up."

„It's fine." The man assured her. „He didn't do anything. Damon's asleep."

His eyes sent her a strong look, with a hint of amused, too.

She turned calmly, as much as she could, in her seat and in between other people, two rows back, indeed there he was. Damon, sleeping peacefully, drooling on the seat, his head shaking and bumping against the window glass, as the train shook in his moving. She released a breath of relief and looked at the man beside her, shifting back in her seat.

„He just started snoring and his breath is pure alcohol, so I had to get out of there. I hope you don't' mind if I sit here with you." he said honestly.

„Of course not." She said, frowning at Ric, founding his words a little weird. With the amount of alcohol both Damon and him drank the past few days, she was surprised he wasn't back there drooling on Damon with an alcoholic breath, himself. She decided to dismiss it and opened the journal once again, picking up the pen, running her thoughts in her head what could she say to Elena next.

Ric was sitting next to her in silence, his eyes looking at the other side of the train, peacefully enjoying the ride. The persistent sound of her pen against the paper made him cast her a look again, frowning himself a little and nudging the girl beside him to get her attention.

When she did, her eyes looked at him questionably and after a beat, he asked the question.

„How are you doing?"

„Good." She answered too quickly.

„Really?" His eyes had that hint of worry in them again, and it somewhat scared her. Scared, in a sense, that maybe he saw the wall she was pulling around herself and was going to demand her to knock it down.

„Yeah." She said casually, the best she could. Ric just nodded his head and before she could release another breath of relief, he shot the following question at her.

„Is that an honest answer? Or are you trying to sugarcoat it considering the fact I have a lot of baggage on me?"

Her eyes found his, and she felt the pen and the journal falling back in her lap, as she took a deep breath and answered him with the most honest answer she could find.

„Well, comparing the weight of the baggage _you_ and _I_ have, I think it's safe to assume I'm the one who's suppose to be concerned about _your_ well being."

Ric snorted at her. „Just because I had a bad year doesn't mean that you're supposed to forget about your bad experiences." He let the words sink in a little. „You've been through hell of a lot. Literally."

„I did." She answered, fear dripping all over her words. She could just hope the man won't notice it. „But I'm still here." She smiled tightly at him.

„Are you? Are you really?" his eyebrows shot in his forehead.

„I'm in Europe." She smiled widely and fake. „I'm traveling, sightseeing and getting to know about other countries cultures. I'm having the time of my life."

„And somehow, that doesn't seem honest at all."

„I am exploring and learning different things, things I had no idea existed. I'm a tourist in a foreign country and I am trying to discover all of its hidden beauties, lures, and charms."

„Are you really?" he asked her strongly, but she felt the mocking tone in his voice. „Because seems to me you're just writing in that journal all the time." He pointed to the items in her lap.

She looked down at them and rolled her eyes at the bluntness of his words. This was his concern? The journal? How could that present a problem? It's not like she was the only one writing her adventures for her friend to read it one day. She had it on a good authority, Caroline wrote it daily, so did Stefan and Matt, and after all, Ric himself had a diary in his bag that was named 'For Elena'.

„I'm writing it all down so Elena would know everything we're doing. She's gonna wanna know."

„Okaaay." He dragged the word out. „But, you still haven't answered honestly my original question. How are _you_ doing?"

„I'm fine." She shook her head with that tight smile of hers again.

She wanted to keep the strong face, but when the man beside her made no sign he was believing her words, so she failed. The smile was instantly gone and she sighed hard, letting her eyes close in frustration. She fidgeted her hands in her lap and opening her eyes she let the words come out.

„It's not easy." The words were slowly leaving her mouth. „Considering the fact,... I'm breathing because my best friend is in a deep sleep and won't wake up until I stop breathing... Plus, I'm on a travel... and 24 hours babysitting duty on the said friend's boyfriend who surely holds a grudge, and on a guy who lost his chance at a family because the murderer of the guys said chance family... held a grudge against me." She finished with a fake smile. „Other than that, I'm peachy."

„It's not all your fault. I don't blame you for anything." Ric told her honestly. „And neither does Damon."

„Hmmm, somehow I doubt that." She said quickly, bitterness all over her words. „But, it doesn't matter, because I am still here. Enjoying, traveling through Europe. Living the life. Just like Elena wanted me to."

„You do know it's not really considered enjoying if you're doing it to please others?" he left her speechless for a while.

There was some truth in his words and for a long time, Bonnie was secretly hoping someone would tell them to her. She thought if she could just hear them once, maybe the feeling would stop. Maybe the sting in her chest would be gone. Maybe she just needed to hear them.

„You need to stop feeling guilty for living your life, Bonnie."

Guilt. It was eating her alive. And the teacher knew it. Hell, maybe everyone did, but nobody had the guts to say it to her. Although it was out there, the words have been said, she couldn't let them be true just yet.

„I'm just living my life. That's what Elena would want me to do."

„Well, It's not about what she would want you to do. It's about what you want. Bonnie, Elena's not here anymore. And you need to stop blaming yourself for that. She will get her chance to live her life. This is yours. So live it."

„How?" she asked with a small voice, with tears peeking through her eyelashes.

„Well, you're a tourist in a foreign country and you should discover all of its hidden beauties, lures, and charms." he grinned widely at her. She laughed wholeheartedly, brushing away the fallen tears from her cheeks.

„So, say I do want to discover it all. How exactly would I do that?"

„Well, you see," Ric started wisely, "That's just the beauty of it. You can do what ever you want. What ever comes to your mind first."

* * *

Sicily, Italy

Umberto and Zaira Simonelli lived on the northeast side of Sicily, in a village near the famous Taormina. The landscape around here was breathtakingly beautiful. The broad mountains, the sparkling sea, the fresh smell of lemon and salt in the air, the historical Italian houses made of stone and... the people.

The people were what fascinated Bonnie the most.

When they arrived at Simonelli's house, they were welcomed with a table full of traditional Italian food, with homemade wine and lemon sorbet dessert. Umberto was an agriculturalist, and his wife Zaira was a seamstress. Even though they didn't speak English very well, it was the tone of their voices that made Bonnie feel like home. Like they were really welcomed.

She helped Zaira with the dishes, even though the women kept speed talking in Italian to stop and leave it to her.

 _"Cosa stai facendo? L_ _ascia fare a me, ragazzina."_

Strangely, it made her laugh and reminded her of Grams, even though Sheila did just the opposite. She always scolded her to come and help her with the dishes after meals.

 _"Wha' are you doing? Get your ass here, Bonnie Bennett, and help me with the dishes. Honest, child, sometimes, it's like you've been raised by the wolfs."_

But, both women had some sweet tenderness and emotion around them, that made Bonnie felt warm and affectionate. To her, it was what family felt like.

One thing that surprised Bonnie the most was Damon and his Italian. He spoke it like it was something he did all his life. With such precision and refined note, that she felt like her earlobes were being tickled by every syllable he let roll out of his tongue. At least, that's how it seemed to her.

Since they arrived early in the morning, Bonnie took the opportunity to get a few hours of sleep. By the time she woke up, the house was quiet, with Zaira and Umberto sitting on their terrasse, enjoying in fresh lemonade and apple pie. Damon and Alaric were nowhere to be found, but it didn't worry her too much. Umberto offered to show her his garden and land, which she happily accepted.

There was something different here, much more than all the places they visited so far. It was peace and tranquillity. Like the world slowed down here. She wasn't sightseeing any historical buildings or museums, but nature. The flowers, the trees, the grass, even the rocks were something she couldn't describe with words. And she tried. She sat on the ground, in Umberto's garden, her back leaned against a lemon tree. She held the pen and the journal in front of her, with a fresh lemon in her hand, inhaling the scent deeply in her lungs. The soft, warm wind blew against her face and hair, making the little droplets of sweat slide down her neck.

Umberto was a little farther away, trimming the shrubs now. She was surprised how easily he did that, under the hot sun and high temperature. She stared at the blank pages of the journal in front of her, thinking what to write, trying to find the right words to describe all of this around her. Nothing came to her mind.

„Vorresti fare una nuotata?"

She raised her eyes to Umberto, who was now standing in front of her, with a wide smile on his face, holding a pair of garden trimming scissors in one hand and wiping the sweat of his forehead with the back of his other hand.

„Sorry?" she said, with a confused expression. „I don't..-"

„Go, voi,...noutata? E...di mare?" he motioned his hands like he was separating the air. „Como dice... bathe...?"

„You mean, swim?" she asked.

„E, si, si... swim di mare?"

She simply smiled.

* * *

„Now, this is just sad."

The two men turned around to see their traveling companion standing behind them with a scowling expression on her face.

„Bonnie." Ric said surprised.

„Don't you two have anything other to do than to spend this entire trip completely drunk?" she asked tiredly, looking at a number of bottles on the table in front of them, as they were sitting in some small beach bar in an old Italian village, with bored expressions on their faces.

„Like what? Doing pointless sightseeing and pretending like you're interested in some other countries history? Please." Damon said rolling his eyes.

Bonnie stepped in front of the two men and shook her head.

„At least I'll remember this trip, unlike you two."

„Vampire tolerance, baby." the cocky vampire said, raising his glass like he was toasting before downing it all in one gulp.

„What historical discovery are you looking into today?" Alaric asked, genuinely curious.

There was one true to that. He was interested, and if he wasn't in the middle of the biggest grieving of his life, she was sure, he would be right by her side. But, it was somehow understanding, that when you lose everything you have ever dreamed of having, you let everything else slide away.

„Actually, I am taking a break from sightseeing and learning historical facts. _I_ am going to the beach. And I am going to enjoy the sun, sea and fresh air for a change." She was proud of the confused looks Damon and Ric had on their faces.

„At least for today." She said with a wide smile and turned her back on them, wiping her hair in a dramatic motion.

The half-drunk duo watched with amusement the girl walking away, setting her towel down on the beach just a little further of them and stripping her summer dress, leaving her in a green flowery bikini. She removed her flip-flops from her feet, sinking them in the soft, hot sand. It was funny feeling the small particles of the sand running through her toes and massaging her soft feet. She had hands on her hips as she watched the crystal clear ocean, gathering the courage to take a dip in it. The hot wind was grazing against her skin, as she took a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting herself completely relax.

This was the therapy she needed. The fresh salty air, the peaceful sound of the ocean waves and quiet Italian chattering in the background. She could never feel like this in Mystic Falls. This was freedom.

All of her worries fell into second place. She was not worried about Caroline and her 'getting-back-to-normal-after-flipping-my-switch-and-possibly-ruining-my-entire-history-with-Stefan' life. She was not worried about the heretics that were roaming somewhere around and raising havoc. She was not worried about Alaric and his sad story. She was not even worried about her best friend's coma that was induced by her simply breathing in the oxygen.

What was the point of her concern all the time anyway? It's not like she could do anything about it.

She was in this moment in peace.

The only thing that mattered right now was her. Being in sync with the ocean, air, sand, and sun. Four elements.

Ocean represented water, of course. The constant flowing sensation. Peace on the outside and turmoil below the surface. It's how she felt for a big part of her life. Never let others see what was going on the inside, never letting anybody come too close. Always maintaining an equilibrium between the calm exterior and restless emotions. Right here, it was in balance. Focus. Piece.

Air, the invisible but yet always present element. Making her believe that there are things in life, that even though they are not touchable, doesn't mean they do not exist. Something that is so important for our life, giving us oxygen so we can keep on breathing, and yet something so flaky and inconsistent.

Earth, or in this case sand, gave her stability. Something that she could always count on being there for her, even when nobody else was. The firm support reminding her that she was always and forever in need for a steady ground. Even though the world was in an ongoing motion, the simple knowledge that the Earth was her safety in present, was always welcomed.

Fire. Warm, bright and passionate. Just like the sun. Letting her imagination go wild, giving in to the power she has on the inside, allowing the light in her to shine. Coming with a warning, handle with care, because it turns volatile in an instant. Passion becomes anger, warmth becomes burning and bright becomes obsessive. Fire spreads to everything, becoming untamed and hurts everything around.

„Are you gonna stand there all day or you're gonna take a swim?"

She was startled by the voice beside her. She jerked her head to the side, looking at the disruption in form of her... best friend?

Was Damon really her best friend? She didn't know the answer to that. She was quite sure, he didn't know the answer, either. Yes, it was what they both claimed, but something had fundamentally changed between them since Kai did that stupid linking spell.

How do you appreciate your best friend, when her simple existence was the reason you weren't living your dream life with the person you love? Bonnie was the blame for Damon's life going straight to shit, when he had the plan to change his entire being and surrender himself to the woman that has been his dream and reason to live for so long.

Yes, there was resentment. Bonnie knew there was, no matter how many times he said there wasn't, she knew him well enough.

And, just like that, the balance was off. Peace was disturbed. Worries came flowing back in, crushing her chest with heavy breathing, the solid ground became unsteady and fire ignited uncontrollably.

It was like a switch went off. She was no longer in control, her focus was disoriented and it was all because of Damon.

He observed her with a frown on his face, seeing she was a little stunned.

„Bon?"

She shook her head at the sound of his voice and took a deep breath before letting herself answer him.

„Yeah..." she rubbed her forehead „Sorry...I was just..." she trailed off, not knowing how to express herself.

„Thinking?" Damon provided the answer.

No, she was not thinking. Quite the opposite, actually. She was free of any thoughts or worries. She was just in peace, with herself. He managed to disturb that for her.

„Yeah...thinking..." she answered instead.

They both directed their eyes to the sea and waves that were playfully drifting towards them. She noticed then he was shirtless, with only his black and white swim shorts on, hanging dangerously low around his hips. She let her eyes roam a little over his perfect chest and abs, enjoying how his pale skin looked in the sun. How his muscles flexed when he ran his hand through his hair. And just how he smelled like leather and old scotch, getting her to feel a little dizzy around him.

She was letting her thoughts control her, too much now. She needed to stop. She blinked a few times, swallowed all the groans that were in her throat and set her head straight.

„Where's Alaric?"

„Still trying to find hope at the bottom of the glass." He answered when she turned her head to look at the man that was still sitting at the table, glasses around him, with a thoughtful face expression.

„There are other ways for him to deal-"

„There are, but this is the Damon way. And Damon way says: you gotta hit rock bottom first, before you can even think about getting up."

She knew he wasn't talking about Ric only. It could be applied to his own situation, too. She felt like a knife was slowly being dragged over her chest. She could only wait for the stab to happen.

„Damon..."

„Bonnie. Stop." He set his blue eyes on her, not letting her say anything more. „We're not doing this. You can't say absolutely anything that will change our situation right now, so you shouldn't even try. All we can do, is enjoy today. The sun, the sea...it's what we need. So..." he took her hand in his, sending jolts of electricity through her body. „You wanna go for a swim or what?"

He smiled widely at her, and for a moment she believed him, this was where he really wanted to be. On the other side of the world, far away from home, far away from any reminders of their unfortunate situation. And with her. Only with her.

When she responded with a smile of her own, he pulled her by the hand and started running towards the ocean. They sprinted forward and once they were where the water reached Damon's thighs and Bonnie's waist, they stopped and thrown themselves into it.

It was refreshing to get the heat of her body by dipping in the sea. The water relaxed her sore muscles and tired bones, washing away all the sweat from her body. She felt her arms and legs welcoming the delightful cold water. She sunk in deep, getting her hair and face wet, enjoying the salty water and sun above her.

Damon was a few feet further from her, watching as she flashed her white teeth to him and then splashed some water on his face, as he was opposed to getting his hair wet.

They laughed, splashed, dunked, but most of all enjoyed.

Alaric was watching them from the shore, smiling how Bonnie was determined to dunk Damon in and how he refused to mess his perfect hairdo. In the end, he just gave up and let Bonnie get what she wanted. Of course, her victory was short-lived, when Damon decided on a revenge, catching her by the waist as she tried to swim away from him.

She started yelling and kicking him with her hands when she read his intentions. He managed to reach behind her neck and untied the two strings of her bikini top. Before anything could fly out, that she didn't want to, she pressed the bikini over her chest, trying to catch her breath and calling the vampire beside her every dirty name in the book.

She even refused his help when he offered he will tie them back, like an apology, not trusting his intentions. Smart girl.

It was nice seeing them like that. Something about that picture told Alaric that the world was where it was supposed to be.

They were back at their routine, the banter, the pretend 'I-hate-you' thing, and the real connection underneath that all.

* * *

 _Damon_

Sun, water, laughter and just pure fun were what they could sum up that afternoon. And, slowly as the afternoon became night, the fun had continued.

After spending half of the day on the beach, Damon and Bonnie decided it was only right to spend the night like that as well. They retired to the beach bar where Ric was residing, joining the human in his drinking. This time, Bonnie took the lead and she ordered them fun and colorful cocktails. It was a nice change of pace, Damon had to admit, the fruity and sweet drinks with the umbrellas and funny shaped straws.

The alcohol was still flowing, but instead of getting more and more tired and depressed, he was feeling more cheerful and excited. He was singing, doing shots with strangers and laughing.

At one point, he even danced on top of the bar, to which everybody cheered, along with Alaric, that was finally smiling, genuinely looking content for the first time on this trip. Maybe it was because of the happy drinks or because of the people around them, but it allowed Damon to feel good like he managed to heal a part of his friend's heart.

There was another friend's heart he was in need to mend, but right up to this point he hasn't let himself do that. The same friend that he so selfishly ignored for the bigger part of the trip and the one he missed so deeply, even though she was beside him this entire time.

As Ric had said to him, that day earlier, while they observed the girl standing on the beach, staring at the ocean.

 _„I'm not the only one who's in need of a friend and healing process. A lot has happened to all of us, these past few months. You included. But, there's another side of your story, Damon. It's Bonnie's side."_

Yes, the same story as his, just another side. That was one way to look at it. The thing was...everybody seemed to think that Damon blamed Bonnie for everything. Hell, Bonnie herself thought so, too. But, the truth was, he was thankful she was here. Not just here, in Europe, but here, in the world. Living. There was always more to what it seemed like.

He felt guilty. And boy, did that guilt eat him alive. And just the sight of Bonnie made him remember just what he was feeling guilty about. Her single appearance was a constant reminder, how much of a coward he really was.

But, tonight was a different story. Tonight, for the first time, he felt at ease. He felt free and light as a feather.

Thank God for cocktails!

He toasted to himself as he picked up his Margarita and took a large sip of it, licking his lips from the flavorful grace note of the salt from the rim of his glass. That's when he scanned the dancing crowd around the beach bar, his eyes landing on the caramel skin and messy, playful curls that were being swayed to the fast rhythm of the song.

He saw her face in one of the twists, smiling widely, with sparkling green eyes and that cute nose twitch she did. A young male specimen with ebony skin and mid-long curly hair was twirling her around the dance floor.

She looked so happy and content, that Damon never wanted to bother her again. This girl had managed to somehow get under his skin more than he allowed himself to admit. Maybe the reason was their time together in a prison world, but something told Damon, it wasn't just it.

Yes, they got closer there, but he would be a liar if he said, that before that he didn't care about her. Bonnie was always the one he never could fool. He had a feeling she was reading him like an open book. That's probably the reason he always kept his distance from her.

He knew she would never give him the benefit of the doubt, because he was beneath her. Their time alone in 1994. changed that between them and allowed Bonnie to see something more in Damon. And, boy did she see. If he thought she could read him before, the prison world just made that thing easier on her.

There really wasn't anybody like Bonnie, he was sure of that. She was one of the kind. A girl, that you don't have the ability to run into every couple of hundred years. In a world that seemed to run on an inexhaustible source of doppelgangers, there was definitely no way in hell, you could ever encounter somebody who ever came close to Bonnie Bennett.

Unlike, the only two women he loved to this point, who shared the same face, and even though he would deny ever admitting it, Elena and Katherine shared a lot more of their personality than everybody seemed to think of. There were little things, midgets of character, that not just anybody could notice, but surely enough they were there. How ironic it was to fall in love with the same person you'd sworn to never love again? Why couldn't he fall for someone who was different in every sense, who was beautiful in an uncharacteristic way and incomparable in any aspect of life?

They say love is blind.

When will it be the time for him to finally see, then?

He didn't even notice he was standing steady in his place, observing the unique beauty in form of his best friend, until somebody bumped into him. Some guy that reminded him of his little brother, except he had darker hair and was a lot more tanned.

"Scusa, non ti ho visto li!"

* * *

On their way back to the Simonelli's, they decided to take a 'shortcut'. Or so, Damon said. Alaric refused to follow them, saying how they will only get lost and take double time to get back to the house.

Maybe even Bonnie wanted to follow the teacher, seeing as he was making more sense than Damon, who claimed that, 'just because you make more steps doesn't mean you're on the longer road'. But, she stayed with the blue-eyed vampire, walking next to him, beside the sea, letting the slightly fresh and breezy air sober them both.

The witch had a light smile on her face, that seemed not to fade all night. It made Damon feel proud and happy for her. He chuckled, because she was walking barefoot, allowing the sand run through her feet, her flip flops happily swinging in her hand. The crochet beach dress she had on was practically transparent, and her natural curves evidently showing off underneath it. He followed her example, dressed only in his swimming trunks, his shirt safely tucked inside her big straw beach bag, that was hanging over her shoulder.

„You had fun tonight." He commented quietly. „You look happy."

She briefly looked over to him, smiled and continued walking. „Yeah, I am happy. I love it here so much. It's so different from back home."

Damon nodded at her words.

„And I like Umberto and Zaira. They are such nice people." She heard him agree with a hum from his lips. „How do you know them?"

„Umberto and I...we go way back. I met him, when he was 14 years old." He told her, smiling at her surprised face. „He was chasing a sheep's over a railway track and one of them stopped right when the train was coming. Umberto tired to chase her away, but she was stubborn and scared. I saw him from afar..." suddenly he stopped walking and so did Bonnie. „That boy was in the verge of death, because of a sheep." He smiled and snorted in memory.

„So, I run over there and...pulled him and the sheep of the railway. Anyway, later, he told me, he couldn't go back home with a missing sheep or his father would beat the crap out of him. Guess that's why I liked him. He would rather die than come home and suffer his father's punishment. He kind of reminded me of me, when I was his age."

They continued walking.

„When was this?" she asked curiously.

„The year was 1959."

She stopped walking for a moment, turning to him again and stopping him.

„Didn't you just flipped your switch?"

„Yep." He answered smugly looking straight at the sea, than back at her questioning face. „The switch, it's just an escape from your own problems. You pretend not to care, but somehow, emotions always find their way back to you. You can turn it off all you want, but the truth is, the longer you are a vampire, the lesser the switch works. "

She nodded, not really sure in Damon's words, as they continued to walk further. She remembered Elena when she switched off her humanity, and Caroline, they both did horrible things and Bonnie refused to believe her two best friend would do such things, if they were actually sane. But, they were younger vampires, so maybe it really depended of age. Stefan was ruthless, too, but Damon was confident into getting him back, easily, every time. She chose not to think about it anymore, after all it was vampire business, so she had nothing to say in it.

She listened to Damon, as he kept talking about Umberto and how he was never judgemental or scared of him or his vampirism. He told her the story how he and Zaira met, how they got married and unfortunately couldn't conceive a child. Zaira had 4 spontaneous abortions and it crushed them. In the end, they just stopped trying.

„That must've been horrible for them." She said sadly.

„Yeah." He nodded and frowned in thinking. „But, they never separated. They stayed together. Happy, in peace, with just each other." He hummed with a soft smile.

„Did you ever thought about it?" she asked suddenly. She turned to face him again.

„About what?" he asked, although he knew what she was asking.

„Kids. I mean, I know, obviously, vampire and all, but... before, I mean. Before everything. Did you want kids?"

It took him longer to answer. He thought about kids with Elena, right before that pesky sleeping spell was cast. He listened how Elena listed all her dreams about their hypothetical human life and he went with it. But, Bonnie was not asking him that. She was asking him if _he_ wanted kids. Before Elena. Before he had a chance to really think about it, because all of the sudden, that possibility was on the table.

„I don't know." He said, both of them stopping in their tracks. „The time when was human was different. I didn't really thought about it. There was the war, the vampire issue, Katherine issue. I didn't had time to think about it."

„You must've had an opinion on it."

„Yeah. I guess..." he shook his head. „I didn't _want_ them. It wasn't something I was _wishing_ for. It was more..." he looked straight in her eyes. „It was like, I knew I would have them one day...and I would be fine with it. It wasn't something I thought I needed to want, it-... it was more...given. You know?"

„So, are you fine, now, with not having them?"

„Strangely enough...I am. But, it's weird. When I was human, I was fine with having them, but I wasn't wishing on them. And now..."

„Now...?"

„Now, I am fine with wanting them, but not having them. If it makes any sense." He shook his head, before he looked seriously at her. „What about you?"

„Me? Oh, no." Bonnie shook her head. „Absolutely not. I do not want kids. I don't think I could do that."

„Do what? Give birth? You scared of a little pain?" he teased.

„Being a mom." She sighed. „A parent. I don't think I could do that. I'm just not made for it, you know. I'm not mom material. I mean, could you imagine me, with a kid? Disaster!"

She rolled her eyes, but Damon just smiled widely.

„Actually, I could imagine you. Quite honestly, I don't think I could imagine you _without_ a kid. I think you'd be good."

„Shut up." she laughed and shoved his shoulder lightly.

„No, I'm serious, Bon." It irritated him a little, that Bonnie wasn't trying to accept what he was saying. „You got good instincts. You're loyal. You're smart, you protect the people you love, you're warm and devoted. You'd be a good mom. The best."

Hesitantly, she smiled lightly at his words. It made her feel warm on the inside, for some reason. He was so easy and honest with her, she loved how it felt.

But than she noticed his face fall down. He looked away from her and shook his head. She didn't had to ask why he reacted that way, because she knew immediately. The words he spoke, provoked him to actually think about her life. Her long time life, that she was going to _have_ and the same long time he _won't have_ the life he wanted.

She frowned, abruptly jerking in her stand and turning her back on him to leave. But, she didn't get too far, when she felt a tug on her right elbow and suddenly she was turning around to face her blue-eyed friend.

„Bon? What-?" he stopped himself from saying anything else.

She didn't speak. She couldn't. She thought it would be easier with time. Somehow, her and Damon were going to repair this rupture that existed between them. They will help each other cope and they will be back at their own. That lovely playful dynamic, she missed so terribly. He was the only person she could tell what ever the hell was on her mind, even if it meant insulting him, but he never took it too seriously. He teased her too, immensely, drove her mad with it, but she never blamed him or got angry. It was just how they worked. Brutal honesty.

And now, they couldn't even look at each other. He was so close to her, but it felt he was miles apart. She hated it.

„I know-" She swallowed hard. „I know, how frustrated you must feel, Damon. I know how awful it must be to think how you're going to have to wait for me to live through all of that, but I- I am frustrated, too! Okay? You have no idea how it is to feel happy about something in one moment and horribly guilty about it at the next one! I can't enjoy anything and it kills me that I am losing the one person I never thought I would lose! And I hate it!"

She exhaled and at the end, tears rolled down her cheeks. She had been holding that on the inside for a very long time having it finally out at the open...didn't felt like she thought it would. If possible, she actually felt even worse.

„You think I'm frustrated because you're alive?" she heard Damon asking her, his face in a frown, looking something between confused and angry. She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off. „You really think I am that vicious? That I would ever throw my guilt on you?" he looked away in thinking, before he asked in a whisper, „Have I been doing that?"

It sounded so painful coming out of his mouth, thinking, like he was maybe doing it subconsciously, trying to make her feel any less than she was, than she deserved and more on, how much she meant to him.

He raised his head, waiting for her answer, but it never came. He wasn't sure if maybe Bonnie really did feel like that and it killed him how fucked up things were between them. So, he stepped closer to her, placing his hands on her face, looking down at her with affection.

„You are the brightest light in my life right now, Bon. I don't know what I would do without you, where I would be...you're the only one keeping me sane, and if I made you think any less than that,...you should know, it's not like that." He brushed her tears away with his thumbs. „You're the only _real_ thing in my life."

His eyes were wide and light like two sapphires, glistening in the moonlight, looking straight through her soul. She felt strangely naked, and it had nothing to do with her choice of clothing, even though she was feeling Damon's body hotly pressed against hers. She couldn't stop herself from looking down between them, watching his, sculptured to perfection, chest and abdomen. It made her stomach go flip flop. Even more, when she noticed his eyes falling, from her eyes, down to her lips.

Her heart pounded like crazy, pushing the adrenaline through her veins, because she was quite sure, he was looking at her like she was the only woman in the world. Like there was no else around them, no one in this private space they shared.

She was lost at words, her hands were trembling, but she couldn't look away. She let her eyes drift slowly to his own lips and before she could take a deep breath to, maybe, clear her head, his lips were on hers.

* * *

 _ **Author's note: Yay, second chapter's out!  
**_

 _ **Do you hate it or love it? I wanna hear it!**_

 _ **I did things a bit differently. I hated the way the show never actually got more deeper into the issue of Bonnie being linked to Elena, meaning how Bonnie actually felt about it all. They just focused on Damon and his lame lost without Elena existence. It's a bit depressing, but Bonnie's trying to learn how to deal with it and that can't just happen over night.  
**_

 _ **Also, I included a lot of Ric and his wise words, because I used to love his character back in the first 3 seasons. When they brought him back later, they made him really obnoxious and irritating, so I'll try to fix it, at least in my universe.**_

 _ **And I needed Damon's POV and his confusing, avoiding and dealing with all the stuff, especially including Bonnie. He will deal with everything in his own way, and with that he will either help Bonnie or make even bigger problems for her. His current actions will have a big fallout for him in the future.**_

 _ **No flash-forwards this time, they won't be featured in every chapter, but I hope you liked it anyway. Thank you for following, reading, reviewing and all!  
**_

 _ **The inspiration for the chapter was from the song "Non vivo più senza te" by Biagio Antonacci.**_

 _ **Translation of Italian:**_

 _ **Non vivo più senza te -**_ _ **I no longer live without you**_

 ** _Cosa stai facendo? Lascia fare a me, ragazzina. -_ _What are you doing? Leave it to me, little girl._**

 ** _Vorresti fare una nuotata? -_** ** _Would you like to have a swim?_**

 ** _Scusa, non ti ho visto li! -_** ** _Sorry, I did not see you there!_**


	3. Chapter 3 - la tempestad y la calma

_**Some Spanish talk in this one. Sorry, if I got it wrong, I used Google translator. Enjoy!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 3 - la tempestad y la calma (the chaos and the calm)**

More than anything, Bonnie was dreading getting up from the bed today. It was funny, in a very un-humoristic way, how today she had to face a situation, like most of her peers had experienced before.

Confront the reality of _'what happened last night'_.

And, to be true, she longed for that kind of situation, that sense of normality, the 'worrying about who you kissed or just how drunk you were the night before', was a lot better as opposed to what she was used to: Counting the survivals and _how many fewer friends do I have today_?

But, now the situation didn't feel right. Especially because, she would never imagine to find herself in it, with the person she least expected. Damon was her best friend. Worst of all, he was her best friend's boyfriend. True, the said best friend was currently in sleeping coma, but that was beside the point. He was not supposed to find himself on the list of people she kissed.

Ever. And strangely enough, he was.

She couldn't make herself to get up this morning. She didn't know how she would face Damon. What would she say? What would he say? What would they do? Would they just act like nothing happened?

She was lost.

She exhaled frustrated, covering herself over her head like she was trying to hide from the world, but just as all around her became dark, the memories of last night started to play in her head.

 **xxxx**

 _The first contact was light. Fleeting, even. Just two people pressing their lips together. It was friendly, chaste, innocent. But the feelings between them weren't._

 _Bonnie was the first to break contact. But, she couldn't get far away, with Damon holding her face securely in his palms and pressing his forehead against hers. They breathed each other in, looking deeply into each other's eyes, taking the notion of what was happening._

 _As if they were memorizing this moment, in which they could stop now and continue their friendship unharmed. Forget this moment of slip and act as if nothing was changed. But neither of them took that step. They were both frozen in time, waiting for something to happen. Deciding what was suppose to happen next._

 _That was when she made the choice and slowly leaned closer taking his lips and connected them once again with hers. She kissed him steadily, with wariness. It was like testing the waters, sticking a toe into the sea that threatened to swallow her whole being, making it impossible to ever go back to herself._

 _He was tense, his body rigid and stern at first, but as they moved their lips in sink, with each breath getting a little bolder, taking more and more, she noted he was very eager and very hungry of this kind of passion._

 _His lips were salty and cold. He tasted like sea and brisk night air. He was sharp and fresh, silently cutting into her mellow and tender emotions like a knife into a soft butter._

 _She grabbed his thick dark hair, wrapping her arms around his neck, sucking and licking his lips._

 _He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she perfectly tilted her head to give him better access. He played his tongue around hers, while he let his hands roam over her body._

 _She unraveled under his touch, where one of his hands grabbed her left hip, and the other was sliding up over her back. The slight push against her body, in which he held her tightly against himself made him grab her head, crushing their mouths, even more, tighter together, like he couldn't pull her and feel her close enough._

 **xxxx**

She tossed the covers away, opening her eyes wide and sitting up in her bed. She couldn't do this to herself. She shouldn't be thinking about it and she definitely shouldn't be thinking about how that was the best night of her life, as well as the best kiss in her life.

Well, true, she didn't have many guys to compare with, but the ones they were...Damon would definitely stand out. Then, there was another problem. She was dreading how he would react. She couldn't wrap her head around, on how he would approach the subject, or if he would approach it at all.

Last night she couldn't quite read his reaction. Somewhere in the middle of their earth shattering kiss, he stopped abruptly and walked away without a word. On their way back to the Simonelli's house, he didn't spoke to her at all and that worried her. She couldn't even guess what was going through his head.

Her phone rang.

She took it from the nightstand to see a new text from Caroline.

 _Hey, sweety! What's new? How's Europe? How are European guys? Find anyone to show you a good time? Wink wink! Call me when you can! XO &XO!_

She sighed again.

She loved Caroline, she did, but boy, did the girl had timing...

Ignoring the text and closing her phone off, she took one deep breath and prepared herself to get up. It was time to face the day.

* * *

Anger was an emotion, often compared to an erupting volcano.

That felt oddly fitting to her right now. She would gladly go off on him like a volcano. Scorch his skin, letting the fumes out of it, boil his insides like the magma cooking up to its temperature, making his blood rumbling crazy hot through his veins, until he exploded like a bomb, leaving behind, nothing more than ashes and smoke lost in the atmosphere.

Damon was worth nothing else.

To think how she spent all morning, worrying about how to approach the thing, how to approach him, should she apologize, say anything or maybe nothing at all.

And he had the nerve to be mad at her. As if it was her fault. Ever since he laid his eyes on her this morning, she could see the irritation all over his face. He kept brushing her away, talking only when necessary, but rudely, rolling his eyes at her and whenever she would get within two feet from him, he would jerk away like she had the plague or something.

She didn't want to let it get to her head, she thought it was probably from the whole alcohol, and jet lag, and everything. But it still sucked getting treated that way. It was like he found it incredibly daring that _she_ would kiss _him_. In reality, she was not entirely sure who kissed who first, but she was quite sure, they were both very eager to continue it. And that was what angered Damon so much, for sure.

And even though she kind of expected him to be an ass about it, the last thing she thought he would do was the stunt he played at the airport in Rome. They bought the tickets for Madrid two days ago, before they headed out to Sicily, and today they just had to verify them. So, when the time for that came, Damon offered to do it, while Ric and Bonnie surveyed the airport gift shops.

Their flight was in due for 2 o'clock p.m., so Bonnie knew they had time. She cruised the gift shops, searching for postcards and small trinkets she could get for Caroline and Matt. Somehow, she lost track of time and her traveling companions. So, when the clock at the shop showed 13:37h, panic struck and she left everything she intended to buy. She ran across the airport, using her phone, calling both Ric and Damon, to find out their whereabouts. When Ric finally answered after her fifth try, it was the least to say, he was surprised.

„Damon said you already boarded the plane."

Those were the last words she heard Ric say before she laid her eyes on them. They were standing in the line, in front of exit 5, which was supposed to lead them to their plane. Ric frowned in confusion, as he hanged up the call, since she was in sight, while Damon turned around to meet her eyes. For a moment, he held her look, but then he rolled his eyes and pressed his hands into tight fists, his mouth moving as if he was cursing something. She just wasn't sure what he was cursing. Himself, for trying to play this stunt, or her, for actually getting there on time.

* * *

„Com'on, just listen." He said for the twentieth time in the last five minutes.

„I don't want to hear a word you say." She spoke with her jaw clenched tightly, holding her ticket in her hand and standing in the line for boarding the plane.

„Bonnie, com'on."

„Don't talk to me."

„You're making a big deal out of nothing."

„Nothing?!" she turned around to face him, raging at his behavior. She could see Ric behind Damon, who was struggling to look anywhere, but them. Of course, that was extremely hard, seeing as everyone around them was staring at them. „You wanted to leave me here! You almost boarded the plane and left me behind in a foreign country!"

„It wasn't like that!"

„Oh, it wasn't?" she asked sarcastically.

„No!" he yelled sounding desperate.

„Well, then tell me what was it like?" she crossed her arms over her chest, concentrating her eyes on him, looking really interested in what he had to say to her. He started to squirm under her look. In a different situation, she would seriously enjoy it, but she was too pissed off to do so now. „Please, Damon. Tell me!"

„It – was...a-a joke, okay?" he stuttered a little, resisting the urge to roll his eyes because he had a feeling she wouldn't be happy with it. „Just a stupid joke. That's it."

She shook her head, her face changing the expression. There was no longer the anger or rage. He couldn't quite place what she was feeling, it was possibly hurt or disappointment, and he couldn't bear the thought he did that to her.

„Com'on, don't-" he sighed „Don't look at me like that."

She shook her head again, turning away from him and moving further their line, but he followed her in step.

„Bonnie..." he grabbed her elbow, so she would look at him again, but when she did, she tore off his hold on her and there was that anger, back at it again.

„I can't believe I actually thought you were my friend! How can you be so manipulative and blank to other people's feeling?!" she pushed him with her hands kicking on his chest. He tried to calm her down, grabbing her wrists in his hands and trying to look into her eyes.

„We are... friends." He frowned. „I mean, com'on Bonnie, if I didn't see you as my friend, I would have never saved your life."

She snorted as if he just said the most ridiculous thing ever. She tried to release from his hold, but he didn't let her.

„You saved my life, Damon, and I am thankful for that, but that doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt."

„I don't do that!" he argued.

„Yes, you do." She shut him up. Her eyes were glowing with tears and it broke his heart. He could see just how to hurt she was. He hated himself for doing that to her. „You want to blame me for what happened last night and hate me for it, you go ahead and do that, but don't you ever blame me for living my life!"

He let her go of her hands and she turned around to give her ticket to the flight attendant before walking away, entering the plane without even looking back at him.

* * *

It didn't take him long to try again and talk to her, again. Call him a glutton for punishment, but he couldn't live with the fact Bonnie was mad at him. And she had to listen to him. After all, they were both on the plane, in the air and there was absolutely no way she could escape him here. Damon was determined to make things right between them.

He knew it was shameful and vile what he tried to do, and to Bonnie, it must've been a low blow, even though she could expect the worse from him. But he went too far. He was aware of that. Truthfully, he couldn't really say when he would stop, and if he would stop at all. He just wanted to punish someone for what he did and how it made him feel. Needless to say, he punished the last person that was to blame for his guilt and mistakes.

The moment the seat belt sign was turned off, he rose from his seat and walked to the front, where his traveling companions were. They made him sit away from them, even though there was an empty seat next to them. The flight wasn't that full, so they shooed him away. Ric took Bonnie's side immediately, without overthinking it. And Damon couldn't exactly blame him for it.

He slid down into the seat next to the aisle and next to Ric, who was sitting in the middle. Bonnie was sitting by the window and looking out of it, with earphones on her head, not noticing him, at all. The brown haired man rolled his eyes the second he saw him.

„What the hell do you want? Damon, go back to your seat." Ric said in hushed tones, trying not to get Bonnie's attention.

„You go to my seat."

„Have you lost your mind? What the hell is wrong with you?"

„Stay out of it, Ric. And go away." Damon spoke through his clenched teeth.

„No, you're the one that's going."

„No, you are."

„Why don't I just go?!"

They both turned to Bonnie, that looked at both of them, holding the earphones in her hand.

„Bon, I need-"

His words were cut off, by the girl, that unclasped her seat belt and stood up in less than a second. She was trying to leave, but Damon stood in front of her, not letting her pass.

„Get out my way, Damon." she spoke lowly to him, „Before I throw you out of this plane!"

„Bonnie, I need five minutes."

„No." She denied him.

„Five freaking minutes!" he begged.

She shook her head.

„Give me five minutes and you don't have to deal with me, ever again. I promise."

She exhaled, debating his question. It sounded too good to be true, she knew Damon was the kind of person you could never really get rid of. But, it was either that or he would follow her around and torment her until she would break. And she knew, eventually, she would.

She sighed in irritation and took her previous seat back. Damon nodded his head, counting this as a temporary victory before he raised his eyebrows at the man that was still sitting in the middle.

„You need a signed plea? Get the hell away!"

Ric shook his head and threw him a dirty look.

„Asshole."

Damon took a seat next to Bonnie, who was patiently waiting for him to say what he had to say. The only problem was she didn't want to look at him.

„You know, you put me in the worst possible seat back there? The guy next to me took off his shoes and put them on the seat between us. It smells like somebody died."

„So, basically, he smells like you?" she quipped at his lame attempt at a joke.

„I guess I walked straight into that one." He mumbled, but she still didn't look at him. It unnerved him. He knew he was wrong, but he just wanted her to give him a chance to explain himself, and he couldn't really do that if she didn't want to look at him. He needed her to see how sorry he really was.

But, it was useless. Her eyes were looking straight ahead in the back of the seat in front of her and her arms were securely holding the handrail of her chair. She was stiff and her whole body was rigid and on the alert.

„Why do you think I hate you?" he asked her softly, trying to have a peek at her face. He exhaled and averted his eyes straight ahead. „Look, I am aware that I put some heavy burden on your shoulders, but it's just because I know you can handle it. You're the only person I feel that I can say anything to, because I know you can take it. You're tough, and strong, and you can pretty much do anything you want."

He looked back at her, but she wasn't showing any emotion. It felt like he was talking to a brick stone. So, he realized something. The last thing she hear right now, was him complimenting her and trying to get away with pretty words. Anything like that would only sound empty and she was too smart for that. She needed an apology, something he was really bad at and he hated doing.

But, if anybody deserved it, it was her.

„I'm sorry." He said quietly, but loud enough for her to hear it. She still hasn't looked at him, but she blinked and he could hear her heartbeat quickening its pace. „I did something stupid. I panicked. I didn't really think about what it would do to you."

Slowly, she turned her head towards him and released a breath she was holding. She knew what a big deal was for him to apologize to someone. Honestly. And she knew he was honest with her. If anyone knew, it was her. But, then she blinked again and lowered her head. She wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. He knew that and he respected her for it.

„Just because I can take a lot of shit in my life, doesn't mean I always have to. Sometimes, I wish if you could all see me as the real person I am. The _human_ I am. Besides being a witch, I am a human being and I am allowed to break down, sometimes. I deserve to be recognized for that, too."

Her tone was strict, but he knew, besides anger, there was sensibility there, too. He understood what she asked for and at that moment he was willing to give that to her. He was willing to hold her while she cried and never tease her for it like he usually did. He would let her scream out all of her frustrations at him or even beat them out of him. There was an ocean of guilt, burden, and liability in her and more than anything he wanted to chase them away for her.

„You're right. You're absolutely right." He nodded his head. „But, you were wrong about one thing. I don't hate you for what happened last night. I could never hate you."

He held her eyes for a long time before she averted her to look away, swallowing hard the bitter taste in her mouth.

„You're making it a much bigger deal than it has to be. We were drunk, Damon-"

„I wasn't that drunk." He cut her off and she snapped her wide eyes on his in surprise, once again.

He denied it right away, any guilt or regret that should've been there. It shocked her, for sure, but he didn't want her to get the wrong idea. He wasn't mad at her, he was mad at himself. For what exactly? He wasn't sure. He couldn't say he didn't want to kiss her because it wouldn't be true. She was constantly on his mind and the feelings he had for her weren't exactly innocent. She was his friend, but she was beautiful. In more ways, than just her appearance. She had a beautiful soul, one he knew at its core and one he loved entirely.

But, it was wrong. He knew that. And she knew it, too.

„You miss Elena." She said. „I know. I get it. I miss her, too. You're still grieving, Damon and I understand that you're hurting."

Calling on Elena in this moment was something he didn't expected, but should've. If Bonnie was anything, it was loyal. Loyal to the people she cares about. Elena was one of them. And so was he.

Elena was their common ground, one which they both knew how to handle, despite the pain it produced in both of them. So, instead of dealing with each other, they dealt with the one thing they both understood. Elena.

„You're allowed to make mistakes." she continued, „And last night...was one of them. So, I think we can both be adults about this and say that...whatever happened...happened and it's better left of in the past, so we just won't make a big deal out of it. Agreed?"

He nodded before answering to her, even though he didn't believe it was a mistake. But, if that was what she needed from him, right now, he was ready to give it to her.

„Agreed."

* * *

 _Barcelona, Spain_

„How could you say yes to this?" Damon asked Ric frustrated, as they walked through the crowded streets of Barcelona. There was some festival-fiesta going on and the streets were exploded with people, food, drinks, music and all kinds of different stuff. Colorful stuff. It was like a huge pinata exploded and all her insides vomited all over the town.

„I wasn't the only one." Ric told him, looking at him from the side. „You said yes, too."

„Yeah, but I had to. I at least expected for you to deny her."

„Well, I didn't."

Damon looked at him once again, observing the ridiculous outfit he had on. It was Bonnie's wish that they embrace entirely this trip to Spain. She wanted them to spend the time together, all three of them. She didn't want them to get drunk once again, so she would have to drag their inhibited asses around the country.

And after the way he acted, Damon knew he couldn't deny her. He hoped a little, Alaric would, but there was no such luck. Damon suspected the man secretly wanted this more than Bonnie did.

She wanted to visit this festival in Barcelona, enjoy their time, all the while they were dressed properly. To Ric, that meant to look like a real bullfighter, with fancy red and gold pants and a bolero jacket, matched with pink socks that reached just above his knees. He even went that far and carried a red cape around with him.

„You look ridiculous." Damon snorted in mocking.

„At least I made an effort about it. You..." Ric observed him from head to toe, before shaking his head. „Didn't even try."

„What are you talking about? I look awesome." He said with confidence.

Damon didn't exaggerate with his outfit like Ric did. He wore black pants and a white shirt, which was left open, with only one button done just in his belly button region. He didn't need Ric's approval, he knew he looked good. The wide giggling eyes and fanning women around them were an enough proof he had. They looked at him like they wanted to eat him up. He would lie if he said he didn't enjoy it.

„You look like a tourist." Ric mumbled.

„That's what I am. That's what we all are." Damon stopped walking, turning over to face his friend and pointed his finger at him, mockingly. „You, my friend, went overboard. I can assure you, that even Bonnie will laugh at you. She won't go that far either."

He smirked and noticed Ric followed his move, with only his eyes glancing into something behind him, with one corner of his mouth going up in a sinister smile.

„You sure about that?" he asked knowingly.

„Absolutely." Damon said.

„Well, guess again." Ric pointed behind him.

Turning around, Damon could say with absolute certainty, he was wrong. Bonnie did go overboard. Waaaay overboard.

The woman approaching them didn't look anything like the old Bonnie they dropped off at a hotel room when they aborted the plane. No, this woman was somebody else. She was a vibrant, gorgeous, fresh beauty that every man around noticed and was eating up the sight of her. Damon couldn't say he enjoyed it.

„Ric, you look amazing! I love the outfit!" she said smiling widely at the man in question.

„Thanks, Bonnie. You look great, too." he answered.

Great? No, _great_ wasn't the right word. _Great_ was an understatement. She looked unbelievably, out of this world, spectacularly, beyond belief, stunning. Her dress was a two-piece, some sort of modern version of a traditional flamenco dancer dress. Her hair was scooped up into a low, sleek bun, with a single red carnation flower tucked in. Her green eyes were sparkling behind her long thick eyelashes and her lips were painted in his favorite color. Bloody red.

She diverted her eyes at him, the wide happy smile dropping instantly from her lips, as she took a brief look at him.

„Really? You couldn't even make an effort?" she asked him in a disappointed tone, but the look in her eyes said, she expected this from him.

„I look good." Damon frowned.

„You look like a regular tourist." She said and he heard Ric snickering from the side.

„Oh, com'on! What was I suppose to do? Wear some stuffy plastic costume, so I could look like a lame dweeb?" he asked in a mocking tone, but seeing her widening eyes, he quickly tried to turn it around. Shaking his head he waved his finger in front of her. „Not that you are, but, you know...Ric is."

„Nice save." She didn't look impressed. She looked around and her eyes dropping onto the red cape Ric was holding, her lips spread into a smile. She asked Alaric for it and as he gave it to her, she tore a long piece off of it. Then, she used that piece and tied it around Damon's head like a bandana and the rest of the fabric as a belt around his waist.

„There. That's better." She smiled, proud of her work.

„How do I look?" Damon asked an amused Ric after she turned around and started walking away.

„Like a dweeb." His friend answered, laughing.

* * *

Despite, what it seemed at first, it turned out to be an actually very fun evening. It was easy, to fall into the carefree mood, because people around them were in it, too. They cruised the booths, played stupid games, drank sangria and even something called a _queimada_ , which was actually a Gaelic traditional drink, but Bonnie was especially excited to try it, because of the preparation of it. In a hollow pumpkin, set on fire, with even a spell being recited while making, to send away the bad spirits.

They did all, that one stupid tourist should do. They even had a psychic to predict their future, which was Ric's suggestion and Bonnie was 100% behind him. So, it left no choice to Damon, than to actually follow them and agree to do it.

He had no idea what the crystal gazer told to Ric or Bonnie, but they both left her tent with a sour smile on their faces. When he entered, she looked exactly how he expected her.

A 50 something lady dressed in colorful sparkly clothes and too much jewelry on, with a crystal bowl in front of her on the round table. Ric was right behind him because the woman didn't speak English, only Spanish. Even though Damon knew some of it, Ric had an actual degree in it, so he was used as a translator.

Damon sat down at the table, as the woman took his palm in her hands, closed her eyes, and started humming quietly. He widened his eyes and snickered, glancing at Ric who was standing beside him, with his arms crossed over his chest.

„Is she for real?" he asked in a whisper.

Ric just shushed him, when the woman pulled Damon's hand and squeezed it tighter, humming more loudly.

„Jeez." Damon mumbled at the scene.

Suddenly, the candles that were lit all around the tent turned off and a smell of heavy smoke filled the air. Damon wrote it off as a coincidence or just a lucky breeze that blew inside and turned the candles off. The woman opened her dark eyes and started talking.

 _"Hay una niña"._

„There's a girl." Ric translated.

„Big whoop." Damon said, rolling his eyes. „There's always a girl."

Ric stayed serious in his stand.

 _"Veo una chica, pero dos corazones."_

„She sees one girl, but two hearts."

Damon raised his eyebrows.

„This lady is cooky." He commented to Ric, but his friend didn't even flinch. So he averted his eyes to the woman who was still looking at him with her wide eyes.

 _"Tienes el poder de arruinar los dos corazones, porque eres tan arrogante y porque sabes que puedes."_ She talked with an angry voice now and Damon knew she was criticizing him. He didn't like it.

„She says: you have the power to ruin both hearts, because you are too arrogant and because you know you can.

„Seriously?" Damon frowned.

 _"Ya lo has hecho eso."_

„You've done that already."

Damon stiffened. There was something in the tone of this lady's voice, how she spoke to him, condescending his actions and choices like she actually knew him or who he was. He didn't believe her, this all ordeal seemed too straight out of a movie like, but the words she kept saying, even though he couldn't understand the half of them, seemed like she was reading them straight from his soul.

 _„Jugaste con las emociones de otras personas con el propósito de protegeré tú mismo. Que triste es que no lo haces por despecho, sin por desesperación."_

"You played with other people's feelings for your own self-preservation. But, you don't do it out of spite, you do it out of desperation."

Damon yanked his hand out of the woman's hand. Who the hell did this woman think she was? Damon was ready to kill her on the spot.

„You're out of your mind, lady. You better shut up before I snap your neck." he spoke to her, even though he knew she didn't understand him. He turned over his shoulder to look at Ric, but the other guy hasn't moved an inch from his spot.

„We're leaving." Damon said calmly, but haven't moved from his seat, yet.

„She's not done." Ric said, looking at the woman.

When Damon turned to face her again, she continued talking. However, her face wasn't angry, anymore. She looked somehow...hopeful?

 _"Pero, tendrás la oportunidad de hacerlo bien."_

"You'll get a chance to make it right." Ric said.

 _"Cuando llegue el momento, debe elegir sabiamente. Y recordarás todo lo que has hecho mal. Tu alma está oscura, pero puede brillar algún día. Solo, tienes tomar la decisión correcta."_

„When your time comes, you have to choose wisely. And you will redeem all you ever did wrong. Your soul is dark, but it can shine one day. You just have to make the right choice." Ric seemed thoughtful about what she was saying.

„Okay. Whatever." Damon said, before standing up, ready to leave this place. He turned to Ric, moved his head to the exit, and his friend kept his mouth shut, but followed his lead, anyway. Just before they left the tent, they heard the woman talking again. They both turned to look at her at the sound of her voice.

 _"No tomes el camino más fácil. Dale el regalo de la vida. Y será el mayor regalo de todos. Para tu alma."_

Ric swallowed hard, and Damon frowned but didn't want to show he was actually a little freaked out by this woman.

"Yeah, sure thing, lady." He said mockingly to her, before setting his eyes on Ric. "Let's get the hell out of here."

When they left the tent, they paced in hurried steps, to get as far away as possible from it. Silently, they walked through the crowd, looking around to find their missing companion. Bonnie was nowhere to be seen. She fled away after the fortune cookie teller told her whatever she did, and now they had trouble finding her.

Damon didn't know what the woman told her, but if she was half creepy like she was with him, there was a possibility Bonnie was upset. He turned to face Ric, who was strongly distracted and walking a few steps behind him.

"You know where she went? Did she say something?" he asked his friend, who stopped walking and raised his eyes to look at him.

"You don't want to know what she said?"

Ric wasn't talking about Bonnie, that's for sure. And Damon felt irritated.

„Bunch of stupid nonsense, just like the rest of it. She's a crazy old bat, who the hell cares what she says?" he spat out of his mouth.

Ric shook his head. He seemed to be overthinking the words of this woman in his head. Why exactly? Damon didn't know. He wasn't that sure he wanted to know. His goal right now was to find Bonnie. The sooner, the better. So, he rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

„Okay, fine. Tell me what she said. If it means that much to you, just say it!" he yelled.

„Don't take the easy way out. Give the gift of life. And it will be the greatest gift of all. For your soul."

* * *

She never feared of death. Realistically, she died already so many times, she lost count. Being a witch meant being expandable, life always on the line. It wasn't hard for her to risk everything she had because she knew why and for who she was doing it.

But, this time, it was different. This time, she didn't want to sell out herself so easily. She was given a chance to live fully, recklessly and excitedly. And she really wanted that, more than anything.

She didn't want to die. The notion of death at her heels was terrifying. And yet, it was exactly what was waiting on her. At least that was what the psychic told her.

 **xxxx**

 _"Tu futuro es triste. Muy triste. Y furioso. Será difícil, agotador, doloroso y terrible, " the woman stopped and looked up in her eyes, gasping loudly. "Hasta que tu muerte lo rompa."_

 _Muerte._

 _Bonnie knew that word. She knew it like the palm of her hand. It was what surrounded her daily, something she and almost everyone around had already tasted, various times._

 _Death._

 _The woman covered her mouth with the palm of her hand and shook her head._

" _Tan joven."_

" _What did she just say?" Bonnie asked breathlessly, the man behind her back, without looking at him._

 _She could hear Ric clearing his throat and hesitating in his answer. She knew there was something bad the woman had said._

„ _Your future is sad. Very sad. And angry. It will be hard,_ _exhausting_ _, painful, and awful."_

„ _What else did she say?" she asked turning her head to look at him over her shoulder. She knew he wasn't telling her all._

„ _Your death will break it."_

„ _My death?" she asked in confusion._

„ _Your soon death. You'll be very young."_

 _Bonnie turned back to the woman, that was holding one of her hands in hers._

„ _You can see my death? You can actually see that I die? How does it happen? How do I die?" she kept listing the questions, not caring that the woman didn't understand her. She turned her head over her shoulder and directed her words to Alaric. „Ask her?"_

„ _Quiere saber si realmente puede ver su muerte? Cómo sucede? Como se muere?"_

" _No puedo decir lo que no puedo ver. Solo lo que siento."_

 _Bonnie waited patiently for Ric to translate her._

" _She says she can't say what she can't see. Just what she feels."_

" _That makes no sense at all." Bonne said frustraited. "What do you see?"_

 _The woman smiled to her._

" _Pero, después la paz vendrá. Usted simplemente no puede darse por vencido. Será un camino difícil, pero tu recompensa será_ _precioso_ _"._

„ _Peace will come later. You can't give up. It will be a hard path, but your reward will be beautiful."_

 **xxxx**

To hell with the reward! What kind of reward could it be, when she will end up dead anyway?

Maybe she was crazy for listening to the woman. She couldn't even be sure she was psychic for real. But, still the words didn't set well with her. If the woman was really some kind of a fraud, wouldn't she try to sell her rainbows and happy pictures about the future? Why would she tell her she would die very young? It just didn't make any sense.

She downed the rest of her drink and ordered another one. She switched to tequila after the psychic. She had no idea where exactly she was, how far away from Damon and Ric she got, but quite honestly she didn't care.

She noticed a guy on the other side of the bar, smiling at her and raising his glass as if he was toasting to her. She picked up her own glass and smiled back at him, before gulping it all in one sip. Music picked her ears and once again, a smile spread over her face.

She was ready to enjoy the night. She wanted to dance and drink and have no care in the world. She made the right choice leaving her phone and all her belongings at her hotel room. She really didn't want either Ric or Damon finding her tonight. She was on her own.

 _„Hola, Muñequita!"_

She turned her head to the guy that was now standing next to her, with a wide smile on his face. Bonnie assessed him head to toe, before smiling back at him.

Who cared if she had no idea what he was saying? It's not like she wanted to talk to him anyway.

* * *

This vacation wasn't going like he planned on. He thought he was going to spend his time, not worrying about anything, doing what ever the hell he pleased and letting others around him, pick up the broken pieces he left.

And their time in Barcelona was just the opposite. After wandering aimlessly the streets, Damon and Ric decided to give up on finding Bonnie. It was simply impossible to find her. So, they settled for a drink and enjoying their own time. While Ric had no problem with that, something in Damon couldn't quite calm down. He was on edge. He wanted to find Bonnie, to make sure she was alright and that things between them were back on track.

But, his trusty drinking buddy number 1 got so wasted, he ended up dragging him back to their hotel and dropping him down in bed. He stopped by Bonnie's hotel room, thinking she might've ended with the festival sooner, but there was no one there.

So, he decided to cruise the streets once again. The crowd was slowly deteriorating in amount of people, which he welcomed gladly, thinking how it would help him find the witch quicker. He stopped by one of the squares that people were using as dance floors, where a light music just started to play.

He got a weird feeling, just than. He could feel something was going on behind him. All the people, mostly men, were looking in the middle of the dance floor. As he turned around, Damon felt dumbstruck. Among all that crowd, all that people, she was the one who stood up among them.

Her hair, that was earlier scooped up into a sleek bun, was tumbling over her shoulders in soft, messy curls, with a red carnation tucked behind her ear. This time he allowed himself to look over her costume. Her flamenco outfit consisted of red beaded sequin bra top and a red ruffle maxi skirt with a black sash around her waist. Her skin was sparkled with tiny beads of sweat, and her make up was slightly smudged from the heat. The red lipstick she was wearing before was wiped off by the countless number of drinks and the constant sweeping of her tongue over her lips.

As he looked at her, Damon realized something. Bonnie was beautiful. But she wasn't the classical kind of beauty, you know with gleaming dark eyes, shiny shampoo commercial hair, ivory skin, perfectly pink lips or all that stuff. Her beauty was different, she was underestimatedly beautiful.

She was shorter than an average woman and curvier than a runaway model. She had the kind of beauty where people usually didn't notice her until they did. And Damon could see a lot of people were starting to notice her. He among them.

She was like a goddess dropped down on the ground, with a sole purpose to gratify simple humans with her spellbound presence. She was waving her arms from side to side above her head, hips swaying in sweet harmony, making the skirt flutter around her legs and the shimmering beads on her bra gleaming in the night. There was some certain appeal to her dancing.

People usually danced to the rhythm of the song, moving and shaking, but the way Bonnie danced was new to Damon. There were this freedom, tingling and liquefying freedom to her way. There were no moves or perfected steps to her, it was more, something like a flow, like she was drifting or swimming, slowly being carried in the air. Most people danced to the music. With Bonnie, it seemed like the music was played to her dancing.

And that made all the people around her disappear for Damon. Slowly, he felt his body being pulled in her direction. What exactly pulled him in, he couldn't say, it wasn't something easy detectable, it was a feeling. Something inside him felt like it was being ripped in half and he just had to be close to her.

Briefly, in no time, he was behind her. Just enough to feel the warmth that radiated from her body, but not close enough to touch her yet. He let his eyes wander all over her shape, drinking in the soft glow of her complexion and twirl of her curves, as well as the flow of the fabric against her skin.

Once he caught the whiff of her scent, he couldn't take it any more. He had to step closer and pull her lightly into his embrace. He'd done it so swiftly, without disturbing her dancing. He just pressed against her, his front leaning forward into her back, with hands holding her hips, easily, just above the waistline of her skirt, feeling the temperature of her hot skin. He nuzzled his face to her thick curls, breathing in the woody and slightly pungent smell of cinnamon in her hair.

„Bonnie..." he whispered softly in her ear, like he was letting her know it was him behind her. In case she wanted to run away and put miles between them. But, her reaction wasn't like that. The moment his breath tickled her ear, she relaxed into his touch.

She easily accommodated to his proximity, drawing him in closer and dropping her head back in ecstasy, making him move his hips in symphony with hers, splaying his fingers over the flat of her stomach and trailing his lips to the curve of her neck.

As he licked off the sweat of her neck, he was reminded of that night in Italy, when he kissed her. He was reminded of her dazzling sad eyes and the tangy taste of blood orange on her lips from the cocktail she drank that night.

It was like pure adrenaline was injected into his bloodstream, he was yearning for more and more of her. He wanted to devour her, to choke himself in the stream of her liquefying emotions. And he felt her wanting him to do just that, she was ready to give in, to completely surrender to his mercy, no matter the consequences.

As the song came to its end and easily transitioned to a quicker note, she turned around to face him. The closeness of their bodies was still there, she made sure they were touching the whole time. He watched her lips, in some sort of daze, with his hands settled on the small of her back. He breathed her in, loving the smell of her arousal in the air. Without inspecting, he could say, she was absolutely and entirely horny. And he followed suit.

She placed her palms against his hard chest, feeling the hot skin under her fingertips. She was panting, the smell of alcohol heavy on her breath, sinking her nails harder into his skin. Damon slowly took a step back, taking her hands in his, while she looked at him wide-eyed. He nodded his head as if he was asking a question, while he inched his one foot another step away.

When Bonnie noticed he was stepping away from her, she threw herself into his arms and he welcomed her gladly. Her feet lost touch with the ground and suddenly her surroundings were moving rapidly in front of her eyes. She knew what was happening. Damon flew them off the streets.

The space they were occupying was left empty.

* * *

 _ **Update was a little late, I know. I kind of struggled with this one. I had the bigger part written already, but it's the small scenes that always bother me.  
**_

 _ **I hope you like it, tell me what you think!**_

 _ **Songs for this chapter were: Arisa - La notte; Bebe - Siempre me quedar**_ ** _á.  
_**


	4. Chapter 4 - Lacuna

_****_* Lacuna \- Latin word for a missing part, a blank space.*_****_

 _ **This chapter is dedicated to**_ **StarDust13 - Kasia** **.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4 - Lacuna**

 _Bonnie opened the front door of the Salvatore mansion and was surprised at the sight. There was a party going on inside. There was subtle music in the background, cheerful chatter around and several buffet tables with all kinds of finger food and refreshments. There was a crowd of people inside, men dressed in elegant suits and women dressed in gallant gowns. Suddenly, she felt out of place and underdressed, in her jean shorts and black shirt. Nobody was looking at her, because they were too busy having fun, but still, she felt kind of odd._

 _She wasn't expecting a party._

„ _Hey, there you are!" she heard a familiar voice to her left and saw Matt, standing beside one of the tables and nursing a glass of champagne in his hand. He looked so handsome, in a classic black tie suit and dancing shoes, with his combed hair and as always, heartwarming smile._

 _She smiled back at him and just as she was about to go over and hug him, she felt a brush on her shoulder as someone passed her by. Dark hair, dark suit and not much taller than Matt himself. He shook Matt's hand and patted him on the back with the other._

„ _You didn't think I'd miss this?" Tyler asked him in a joking tone, leaning over to the table and taking a glass of champagne for himself._

„ _Hey, guys." Bonnie tried to get their attention, stepping closer to them._

„ _Well, I was hoping you wouldn't, but you never know." Matt answered Tyler, completely ignoring Bonnie._

„ _Please. This is the celebration of the century." Tyler said._

„ _Very true. We've been waiting on this for a long time."_

„ _Too long."_

„ _Waiting for what?" Bonnie asked them confused. „Guys?"_

 _They made small talk and didn't even raised their heads to greet her. It was almost like she was invisible to them._

 _Panic stroke her. Was it possible that they didn't see her?_

 _Everybody was so fancy, dressed in probably the best clothes they could find in their closets. She scanned once again her outfit and noticed nobody was looking at her. Nobody was surprised at her lack of style to make an appearance at a party this class, in ripped jean shorts and comfortable walking shoes._

„ _Guys!"_

 _They both turned their heads towards her and just as she released a breath of relief, thinking how they did see her after all, she realized, she wasn't the one who called on them, this time._

 _As she turned around, she was shocked to see her best friend. The usually bubbly, perky, bright blonde she expected to see, was gone. Caroline looked drained. Her skin was pale, her usually perfectly stylized hair was hanging lifelessly around her face, that was (shocker!) free of any makeup. She wore a simple black loose dress with sleeves, that also didn't seem very 'Caroline Forbes like'. She was holding a plate with canapes, as she walked over to Matt and Tyler._

„ _Thank God you're here! I was beginning to think you weren't coming."_

„ _Of course, we'd come." Tyler answered. „We're here to appreciate the girl of the hour. Where is she, anyway?"_

„ _She's getting ready. You'll see her later." Caroline said as she made her way to the other table, so she could take care of the rest of the tables._

 _Slowly walking behind her, Bonnie followed her. There was something weird about Caroline. She didn't seem like the old, fully energized blonde she knew. She seemed very tired, with big dark bags under her eyes and her complexion paler than usual._

„ _You need help?"_

 _Bonnie looked over at the brunette man, making his way over to the blonde. Caroline looked at him with a slight smile._

„ _Yes, please." She told him, as she handed him two empty glasses that she just cleaned from the table._

„ _Are you okay? You hanging in there?" Alaric asked with a sympathetic smile._

„ _Of course. I have to be. This is the best day of our lives." She said sternly. „It's just that there are moments, where I think I'll fall asleep standing." She joked._

 _Alaric laughed lightly along with her. He tilted his head and looked at Caroline very dearly...More like intimately. It made Bonnie kind of cringe in confusion._

 _She shook her head, as she walked away from the pair, weirded out by their behavior. She passed by Matt and Tyler, once again and a lot of other people, some she knew, some she didn't. She was in the middle of the hallway, when she heard familiar voices, coming down the stairs._

„ _Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." The younger one said while the older one answered him._

„ _Good. I don't want to deal with that pest today."_

 _She turned her head towards them and swallowed hard at the sight._

 _The Salvatore brothers were coming down together, both dressed in perfectly tailored black suits. Stefan and his always steady hairstyle, glowing grayish-green eyes and mysterious aura, sucked in all the feminine looks onto him. But, they didn't stay on him for too long. They traveled to his older brother and his deep blue eyes, dark midnight hair and to Bonnie very well known 'bad boy' smirk that sometimes made her week at her knees._

„ _Big crowd of people. Do we even know them all?" Stefan asked his brother discretely, smiling at some passing guests that raised a glass in their way._

„ _No. But, she does. That's kind of the point." Damon answered._

„ _I don't really remember her as a big party kind of girl."_

„ _Well she's not, but... this deserves a big blowout kind of celebration, don't you think?" Damon winked at his brother._

„ _You've been waiting on this for a long time." Stefan said to him, throwing an arm around Damon's shoulders and a wholehearted smile, surprising the man beside him a little. „You must be happy."_

„ _I'm ecstatic." Damon said with a wide smile._

 _Together, they went towards the library, where she noticed almost everybody else were starting to go to. So, Bonnie decided to follow them. It was so strange, that nobody seemed to notice her yet, but strangely enough, it didn't worry her too much. When she entered the library, she was surprised at the number of people. She could see Matt and Tyler had come to the room, too, as well as Caroline and Alaric did._

 _Clearing of a throat made her look towards Damon who was trying to get the attention of the guests._

„ _Welcome, everyone. I would like to thank you all for being here and honoring our special lady today." He said with a big smile on his face. „As you all know, she had a tough life. She had to deal with a lot of hard things in life, like the early absence of her parents, loss of dear family members and friends. But, she also had a lot of beautiful things in life, too. Like, for instance, me."_

 _Everybody laughed fondly at his joke._

„ _It was a tough road, for the two us. She wasn't always so partial to me. Some of you may even say, she hated me. I was a sore spot in her life. But, that all changed. Because right now, I know she can't imagine her life without me. And neither can I, without her."_

 _Damon's smile deteriorated a little, but his face expression warmed. He raised his eyes up and it's seemed like time stopped. Bonnie was sure he was looking straight at her. It was like everybody else disappeared from the room. It was just the two of them. He looked straight at her, as a beautiful smile spread across his face. Bonnie smiled back. She wanted to live in that moment. She wanted to stay in it, as long as possible, watching those blue eyes looking back at her, the look of peace on his face, evident to everybody around them. She believed all those words were directed at her and it warmed her heart._

 _But, there was another kind of feeling that tugged on her heart. It was like something was dragging her away from the center of the room. Something distant and unfamiliar. A cold feeling from behind her. She really had no other choice than, to turn around and look for the source of it. She could hear in the background as Damon continued his speech, while the guests laughed. Bonnie slowly walked to the corner of the room, passing by people on her way. She had no idea what was she looking for, but she knew she had to find it._

 _That's when she saw it. The polished shiny wood surface with gold handles. It seemed to glow in the sunlight that was streaming through the big windows._

„ _You were right." She heard a quiet voice by her side, as she turned to look at him. Jeremy was standing next to her, looking at her eyes. He was also dressed in a black suit, with his hands in his pockets and a sympathetic face expression._

„ _Jeremy, what's going on?" she asked him confused._

 _She followed his eyes, that set on the coffin in front of them._

„ _You were never invincible. You pushed too far."_

 _His words shocked her, but she refused to ask him anything else. Instead, she walked away from him and stepped closer to the coffin. Slowly she raised the lid up. Her eyes widened at the sight. The girl inside had light brown skin, with her eyes closed and an expressionless face. Her long dark hair was straightened and she had a black lace dress on with black stiletto shoes. She was lying on a silver, cushioned and silky fabric and she actually looked quite comfortable. It was scary to be staring at herself like that._

„ _I'm dead?" she raised her eyes towards Jeremy._

„ _Yes." He answered coldly._

 _Bonnie closed the lid down and stepped closer to the guy._

„ _So, this is my funeral?" she asked him, as she looked around at the people in the room, noticing how most of them wore black and dark clothes._

„ _No. Don't be silly." Jeremy said chuckling. „This is a celebration."_

„ _A celebration?" she looked at him even more confused than before. „You mean, like a celebration of my life?"_

„ _Of course, not. This has nothing to do with you." Jeremy's smile grew wider, as Bonnie's heart sunk._

 _She turned back to Damon, who was just about to end his speech._

„ _..and I can honestly say, that today is the happiest day of my entire life. The day, my life finally has meaning. Please, let's all welcome our beautiful, kind and unique... Elena Gilbert!"_

 _The whole room stood up and enthusiastically clapped their hands, as the brunette girl walked in. Elena was wearing a long white dress, her eyes were beaming with happiness, as she smiled brightly at everybody around and took Damon's extended hand in hers. She turned to face him, as they both smiled at each other and kissed, while everybody else cheered._

 _Bonnie felt like she couldn't breathe. Like something was clawing at her chest and squeezing the air out of her lungs. Her heart beat fast against her ribs, her skin itched like tiny spiders were crawling at it, her vision blurred and her ears kept pulsating with the laughter and cheering of the room, as it started to spin around her. She sunk down to her knees, cradling her head in her hands, desperately, as she screamed until there was only darkness around her._

 _ **xxxx**  
_

 _When she finally opened her eyes, she realized she wasn't in the boarding house anymore. She was in the middle of the woods. She was walking straight and barefoot around the ground, as she heard strange sounds further away._

 _As she stepped closer, she could see a man standing with a shovel above a hole he just dug out. His suit was a little smudged from the dirt, but he didn't seem to mind it. He was humming happily, with a satisfied face expression. Bonnie passed him by, as she looked down in the ground. She could see the coffin inside. The same coffin from the boarding house a little earlier._

„ _Stefan, what are you doing?" she asked him, but the young man showed her no attention._

 _He just brushed the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and started to bury the makeshift grave hole. The fresh dirt was loudly banging on the wooden surface, as he shoved big amounts of dirt on it._

„ _Stefan! Stop it!" she started to yell at him panicked. „Please! Stop! Don't do this!"_

 _She tried to stop him herself, she tried to take the shovel from his hands, but couldn't grab it. It was like she was a ghost, her hand just run through it._

„ _No...No. No." She cried. „Stefan, please!" she sunk down to her knees, as he buried her in an unmarked grave, with the single smile on his face and a cheerful tune he kept humming._

„ _I'm not dead!" she sobbed. „I'm not dead...Please...I don't want to be dead! Pleaseeee!"_

 **xxxx**

Bruges, Belgium

She jumped in her bed, her eyes wide, with a sharp, desperate intake of air. Her body bathed in cold sweat, despite the light sheets covering her. She could feel the rising tension in her skin and waking of the panicked nerves in her body.

Bonnie rubbed a hand over her face, situated between the comfy cotton bed sheets, feeling frustration mixed with fear. Her breathing was heavy, as she tried to make sense of that weird dream she just woke up from. It made her feel cold and ashamed. She could see flashes of the wide smiles on people's faces, the word 'celebration' on her close friend's lips, the cheering of the crowd as Elena entered the room and kissed Damon, while she lied dead in a coffin, only a few feet away. Stefan promising to take care of the 'pest' that Damon didn't want to be bothered by and the younger Salvatore burying her body down in an unmarked grave while humming.

She threw the sheet off of herself. It fell down on the floor soundlessly, while she sighed heavily. She turned to the side, taking the tall glass of water from the nightstand next to the bed and gulping it in a few sips. She loved the relaxation that took over, as the water slid down her throat, damping her dry lips and sharp teeth.

She needed to forget about this vivid dream. She wasn't going to torture herself with depressed thoughts like that, anymore. She was going to live.

She let her feet down on the floor, soft rug between her toes, as she eased her way on the opened balcony. A fresh wind was caressing her loose hair and burning body, the hem of her short white nightie grazing her thighs and brushing the sweat off. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, acknowledging the smell of tobacco, concrete, and fresh cut grass, as well as the sounds of rushed traffic, car honks and richness of the speed talking from the people in a foreign language.

She opened her eyes, settling at the same pace as the air around her, with a smile appearing on her lips. She turned in a hurry, running back into her room, looking for a change of clothes, so she could finally go out and explore the beauties and charms of this rustic, old town.

The memory of the dream already forgotten. For now.

* * *

Damon was begging to see a pattern on this trip.

As soon as they would leave the airport, he would take Ric to a local bar or some coffee room or even the hotel bar, so they could drink their weight in alcohol. Then, he would have to drag an unconscious Ric back to his hotel room and drop the sleeping man on the bed. He would leave him alone and go drink a little bit more.

But, this time, as he was struggling with keeping his balance, trying to get to the elevator that would take him back downstairs at the hotel bar, something was stopping him from doing just that. His brain kept telling his legs to go downstairs, but they didn't listen.

Instead of the elevator, he found a door to his right and stopped in front of them. He didn't need to have x-ray vision to know whose room was it.

He leaned on them, placing his palms on the dark mahogany and resting his forehead against it. He inhaled deeply, trying to get an even a tiny peek of her scent. Just a whiff of it would be enough to calm his hunger.

He knew she wasn't inside. The least, she did, around this trip was spending time in her hotel room. She was out there, somewhere, sightseeing and enjoying her life, not wasting it around like he did. And he was happy for her. He was happy, that she was so enthusiastic about seeing new things and getting to know more about other cultures, but he was also eager for her company.

Ric was a good drinking buddy, but sometimes it seemed that his newfound humanity made him a lightweight. He would always get too drunk way too quickly. And then Damon was left to his own devices. It would be nice if she would want to spend some time with him.

Slowly, he gave up on trying to smell her through the door, so he turned around to lean with his back against them, slowly sliding down and taking a seat in front of her hotel room. He could wait for her. Just until she came back, just to see her, just to hear her voice and breathe in her sweet scent.

He was aware, she really didn't want to see him, right now. He was her least favorite person. She was avoiding him as much as she could, and truthfully he didn't blame her. He would give her the time she needed away from him, if he just wasn't so impatient to see her.

He closed his eyes, feeling the blankness and silence around him, as his chest raised and fall in an equal rhythm, he let himself drift off to sleep, hoping when he opened his eyes, she would be here.

* * *

Bonnie was not much of a religious person. Believing in a higher power or existence of a God was not something she spent her time thinking about. She never really had the time. In reality, she couldn't exactly contradict the existence of a higher power, seeing as she had it on authority that different dimensions do exist. So, who was to say something else beyond that didn't exist?

But, that was not the reason why she was in this church today. It had nothing to do with religion, she came here solely because of the historical meaning this place held. The great Michelangelo's masterpiece from the 15th century. The sculpture of a mother with a child.

The Madonna and Child.

There was something about this piece. She didn't think of it from a religious stand. She looked at it from an objective side. It was a mother and a child. Both looking in the same direction, but both looking at it in a different way. From a different point. The mother didn't have a loving expression on her face, where the love for her child was easily readable and obvious. There was a level of protection in her, but she also seemed distant, cold. Like she had some kind of knowledge of the meaning, to release a child into the cruelness of the world.

Mothers were always portrayed as loving, kind persons. No matter the source, be it a book, a movie, a painting, or a sculpture for that matter. Being a mother was the greatest thing and biggest miracle of this world, that was what people used to say.

It made her think of her own mother. Abby was supposed to be there for her, she was supposed to dedicate her own life to Bonnie's. She was supposed to love her unconditionally, guide her through life, show her how to tell apart good from bad. She was supposed to be her mother.

Instead, Abby was a failure. And because of that, Bonnie felt like a failure, too.

She had her Grams and she had her father. She had her friends and they made their own little family. They chose to be each other's support and love, trying to find that closeness and familiarity in each other, when their own blood failed them. Elena and Jeremy lost their parents to death. Liz and Bill Forbes both died, too. Even the Salvatore brothers lost Lilly to what they thought was a natural death. They all had _lost_ them. But for Bonnie it was different. While they were seeking for something lost, something they once had, Bonnie was trying to find something she _never_ had.

Her mother was still alive. Sure, she was a vampire, but she was still in the world. And instead of spending that time with her daughter, trying to mend their broken relationship, she chose to spend it as far away from her as possible.

Bonnie felt her phone vibrating in her purse. A smile spread across her lips when she saw the caller ID. With one last glance at the church, she went for the exit.

„ _If I wouldn't know any better, I would say you're avoiding me."_ Her bubbly best friend cut her off, as soon as she picked up. She couldn't help, but smile wider.

„Thank God you know better." She commented.

„ _Where are you?"_

„Hmmm...Heaven." she said.

„ _Shut up, I hate you."_

Bonnie had to laugh at Caroline. It wasn't like she never asked her to come with. Right now, they both could be getting lost through the beautiful European streets. Every day a different town. They would be drinking vodka to warm their bones from the striking cold in the streets of Moscow, eating croissants on the main Paris square, enjoying the tasteful creamy gelato while taking a walk through Italian beaches, or even getting high from the famous pot brownies in Amsterdam, where they were supposed to go next week.

But, the blonde declined, saying how she thought it would be better for her to stay in their hometown, taking the responsible role of a guardian of Mystic Falls. No doubt, it was so she could be near Stefan. Their relationship was progressing slowly and respectably.

„How are things in Mystic Falls?"

„ _Boring. I think this might be the most uneventful summer ever."_

„That could be a good thing, too."

„ _I guess. But enough about me. I want to hear about you and your big world travel!"_

„European travel."

„ _Whatever. How is it going so far?"_

„Good. It's great, actually. It's so beautiful around here. I honestly don't know where I love it more. I mean, Care, you should see this architecture and the buildings, the museums...And nature? Absolutely amazing!"

„ _Ugh, I am so jealous of you right now! All I do is have awkward conversations with Stefan, followed by a more awkward eye glancing at each other and the ground."_

„Well, maybe one day, we could do a girl's trip around the world. You know, away from all the drama and boys and...boy drama."

„ _I'm down for it."_ The blonde cleared her throat. _„Speaking of boys...how are things on your front? Anything I should know?"_

It was something that Caroline asked her all the time, and every time, the answer would be the same.

 _I'm not looking for a relationship right now._

And as much of the truth that was, it was also a lie. Caroline expected her to tell her about some meaningless and fun hookups around Europe, to distract her from her own complicated _relationship or whatever it was_ with Stefan. And Bonnie didn't have an answer like that. Should she tell her best friend what was really bothering her in that department? Or should she leave that conversation for sometime in the future, once they were eye to eye?

Before she answered, Bonnie took a deep breath.

* * *

When Damon finally opened his eyes later, the first thing he could see was a white surface. Looking at it closely, he could see the faint swipes the paint roller brush across it. His body was relaxed and his head was laying on a soft white cloud. He blinked rapidly, clearing his vision, and that was when he realized, he was laying on a bed and watching the ceiling.

He could hear someone was breathing in the room, but it wasn't himself. The first person that he thought of was Ric, considering they were sharing a room, but he could hear the breathing was steadier and softer than Alaric's was. He knew it was her. He wanted to smile, but instead, he sat up slowly and almost instantly locked his eyes with hers.

Bonnie was standing next to a window, dressed in a sleeveless floral romper jumpsuit, with her arms crossed under her chest. Her purse and hat were disposed on the table and she was already barefoot, her wedge sandals sitting on the floor, beside the table. Which meant, she was here for quite some time. And he was in her room, which meant she probably found him unconscious in front of her door and dragged him inside.

„Hey." He said quietly.

He didn't know what he should say to her. Knowing her, he was quite sure she was probably not so keen on dealing with him. She wanted him to stay away from her, to leave her alone and spare her of his existence. And he hated it. He didn't want to stay away from her, quite the opposite. He wanted to be near her, to feel her warmth and closeness, and to enjoy her company.

„Are you okay?" she asked him, her voice on edge with anger.

He nodded his head, rubbing his eyes and sitting up straight, with his legs on the floor.

„Yeah...I-uhm...I'm good." He said, clearing his throat. „Look, I'm sorry for-"

„Please, don't explain yourself to me."

The rolling of her eyes and the exasperated sigh she let out, made it clear to him, all she really wanted, was for him to leave her alone.

„Okay. I'll just go, then." He said, getting up from the bed.

„Do you have your key?"

„What?" he looked at her.

„The key to your room? Do you have it? Because I looked for it on you, when I found you...and it was nowhere to be found."

„Ric's in the room. He'll open it for me."

He turned around and was about to leave, but she stopped him.

„No, he's not."

„What?" he said, turning back to face her.

„Ric is not in your room."

„What are you talking about? He's in, he's just sleeping."

„No, he's not in the room. You think I didn't check on it? He's not in there." She said her anger rising.

„I drooped him in. He was dead drunk-"

„Damon! He's not in there."

„How is that possible?" he asked, frowning in confusion.

„I don't know." Bonnie said widening her eyes and shaking her head. He could read it straight from the look in her eyes, what she was thinking. And it pissed him off, a little, too.

„I'm not crazy." He told her as clear as he could. „I know I dragged him into the room. Then I wanted to go downstairs for another drink. He was unconscious and I was-"

„Conscious!?" she cut him off, raising her eyebrows at him, her face skeptic of his reasoning. „So, you just fell asleep somewhere between your room and the downstairs bar, and it just happens to be in front of _my_ room?"

„Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying." He said, matching the straight look in his eyes to hers.

„Damon...just..." she snorted as if he was saying the greatest lie ever and threw her hands in the air „I- I can't deal with you, right now. Just go. Okay? Go."

He sighed frustrated, looking at her stiff posture and hating this anger filled tension between them. He wanted to leave the room, he knew the smartest would be to just let her cool off, but it was impossible for him. Especially now.

He walked over to her, his step secure of the path he was taking and once he was standing in front of her, he raised his look to her face.

Those furious forest green eyes of hers were striking into him, that he was a little afraid she would read everything out of him. Her skin seemed to glow in the light like delicious honey was poured all over it and just waiting to be eaten by someone. And that sweet-savory scent that wafted from her, the exotic cinnamon aroma, filled his nose and made his mouth salivating, instantly. He could feel his tense muscles relaxing and his pupils dilating in her closeness. He imagined her delectable taste in his mouth, like sticky sweet cinnamon rolls that melted on his hungry tongue.

That was what he came for. To breathe in one more time that delightful, rich essence and bask in the memories that should never be remembered or repeated.

„I'm sorry." He whispered, as his hand raised to touch a single lock of her dark hair.

She flinched and took a step back, making him bow his head down in regret.

„Your sorry doesn't erase what you did, Damon."

His eyes snapped back up to hers. He tried to read it from her, anything, even just a small flash of something, like a hope maybe it went wrong.

„You left me behind." She said.

Her words cut him like a sharp knife straight to his chest.

Everything turned out the way he intended them to go.

„I can't just forgive you for trying to leave me at that airport. Of all the things you ever did to me, that was, by far, the lowest of all."

„I know."

He watched her walk away from him, as she picked up her shoes and bag and started to leave the room.

„Come on, we should find Ric." She told him with her back turned, „We got a plane to catch first thing in the morning."

* * *

 _Dear Elena,_

 _I'm writing you from Bruges. They say this is a fairy-tale medieval town, and I gotta be honest, whoever said it, was absolutely right. I mean, it's flowing with people, these kind of crowds you can not see in Mystic Falls. But, despite the mass of tourists, it still has its magic. The_ _jaw-dropping, beautiful architecture,_ _dreamy canals,_ _charming atmosphere, h_ _istoric churches and old whitewashed almshouses. I love it all._

 _Oh, and have I mentioned the chocolate? There are about 50 chocolate shops around here and thousands of flavors! I'm guilty to admit I actually liked the wasabi flavored chocolate. I know it's a weird combination, but it's strangely tasteful!_

 ** _xxxx_**

Bonnie laughed to herself as she wrote those sentences in the diary, sitting on her bed in the hotel room, rethinking about her day.

After she and Damon found Ric, which didn't take long because just as they stepped out of the elevator, he entered the hotel lobby. He said he was looking for Damon, for who he claimed he disappeared during their afternoon drinking. Of course, Damon said the opposite and Bonnie had no other choice but to leave them to argue it out alone. She had no energy or wish to get in between them. She couldn't exactly say who was right or who was wrong about the two of them, but quite frankly, she didn't really care. She had stuff of her own to worry. If they wanted to spend their entire trip drinking and losing each other around European towns, they were free to do it. Just as long as they leave her out of it.

She looked down at the Polaroid photos she took that day earlier. She bought the instant camera a while ago so that she could take photos and that way make memories. She didn't really use it that much, but she decided she would, from now on. She chose the one on which she was eating the said wasabi chocolate, and a big goofy face she made as she was about to bit into it. She glued it to the page, pressing tightly on the edges.

Observing her work, she noticed something. She flipped the page back and noticed it was empty. The last time she wrote to Elena was in Italy. She hasn't written a word to her about their time in Spain. She couldn't believe she actually forgot, So, she decided to deal with that little issue right away, as she took the pen in her hands.

 _Elena,_

She held the pen just above the paper, intending to write something any second now...but nothing came out. It was like when you have so much to say to someone, but you don't know how to say it. Or even _what_ to say.

Her brows knitted together and fingers gripping the pen tightly, she searched her thoughts for something she could say, but nothing came. Her expression and mind was blank, just as the page she was staring at.

A classic 'cat got your tongue' situation. Except, this cat got her tongue and run away with it, to bury it somewhere nobody would ever find it.

Why couldn't she write anything?

She thought about Spain, about the trip, about Madrid and Barcelona. Strangely enough, she didn't even know what to think. She tried to remember what she saw there, where she went, what sort of places she visited. But all that she could remember, were the places she _intended_ to visit. Like the _Museo del Prado_ , the _Reina Sofia_ and the _Thyssen-Bornemisza_ , better known as the Madrid's Art Triangle. Or the _Picasso's Museum_ and the _La Sagrada Familia, the_ unfinished church by Antoni Gaudi in Barcelona.

She couldn't exactly say she wasn't there, but she couldn't say she was, for sure, either. The only thing she did remember crystal clear, was Alaric knocking on her door in the morning, handing her a plane ticket for Belgium. By the man's words, they lost track of her, during the festival in Barcelona and didn't see her until next day. Her hotel room reeked of alcohol, so there was a big possibility she actually took a page from Damon's and Ric's book and got that drunk, that she actually managed to erase the entire day out of her head.

She closed the diary abruptly, tossing it away on the nightstand and turning the light off. She leaned her body back, laying down in the middle of the bed, her dark hair spread out around her. She stared up at the rotating ceiling fan, feeling just a light brush of cool air against her skin. The windows were wide open, with curtains dancing in the light breeze coming from outside.

Was it weird she couldn't remember an entire day she lived through? And on the other hand, she could vividly recall that dream she had this morning down to the smallest detail.

A shiver run through her. That dream really scared her. She didn't know what scared her the most. The thought of her death? The fact they buried her in the middle of the woods because they didn't want to be bothered by her once upon a time existence? Or just how indifferent her friends were to her death and so enthusiastic about Elena's return?

She knew, in reality, it wouldn't be like that. Despite everything, they loved her and respected her. They would give her the proper goodbye, that's for sure. They would cry and be sad about it...and then inevitably they'd be happy. Happy for seeing Elena once again.

And that begged the question. Was she important to her friends, and to the world, as Elena was?

They all went to the ends of the Earth, time and time again, trying to find a way to keep the doppelganger alive, no matter the price it held. She did it herself, number of times. Right now, she felt fed up with it. She knew what her choice would be if she ever came to that decision again. She would choose herself. Her life was worthy enough and nobody elses was that precious to hold above it.

She exhaled heavily, as she turned to lie on her side, blinking away those thoughts out of her head. She relaxed into the comfy, lavender colored sheets, wrapping her hands around the cool pillow and pressing her cheek against it. She snuggled into the softness it.

The smell of his expensive cologne still lingered in bed. Damon always smelled like leather, mixed with his Hugo Boss fragrance, and on occasions (lately more than ever) like honey and butterscotch from the bourbon he loved to drink. Weirdly enough, it reminded her of safety and calm, as well as some sort of weird euphoria and a buzzing sensation that literally gave her goosebumps. That was Damon for her. She never knew where she was with him. Probably, because he never knew it himself, either.

So, she thought about him in her dream, his happiness about Elena's return and she thought about reality. Oftenly, he took her her for granted, like he did to most of the people around him. He would hurt her and then he would apologize and it was all suppose to be good.

She knew she mattered to him, he just wasn't really the type to show it. On the other hand, with Elena he wore his heart on the sleeve. And that bothered her, more than she was ready to admit. He considered her his best friend and yet he never showed her that.

So, what exactly was she to him? Just a temporary diversion before Elena came back to him or did she really matter to him? Would he cry or even be a little sad when she would die? Or would he be celebrating her death/the beginning of the rest of his life?

Was she important to him, like Elena was?

* * *

 ** _So, I think updates on this story will be monthly. As it looks right now, the summer will be crazy on me, but_** ** _ ** _I got a bit more time, right now, so I'm hopping to write as many as I can._** Once a month, but if I manage to have one sooner, I'll update. _**

**_What did you think about this chapter? Are you interested in what happened in Spain? It will be addressed, soon. I think, next chapter, we're going back to Mystic Falls, and I plan to include more flash forwards, because we got a few more left in this timeline, and than we're moving 5 years later._**

 ** _* Lacuna, a Latin word for missing part, blank space*_**

 ** _Soundtracks: Bonnie, Paper Route - Dance on Our Graves; Michael Schulte - You'll be okay(last scene).  
_**

 ** _Damon, Cigarettes After Sex - John Wayne._**

 ** _As I mentioned, this chapter was dedicated to_** ** _ **StarDust13 - Kasia** **,** **who was a great inspiration and I very thankful to her.**_**


	5. Chapter 5 - I will never let you go

**_**First off, the previous chapter left some of you a little confused, I hope this one clears the picture a little bit, but just in case; Damon wanted to leave Bonnie at the airport in Italy. Just once. And she was still mad about it.**_**

 ** _ ***This chapter contains lemons***_**

* * *

 **Chapter 5 -** **I will never let you go**

Mystic Falls was a happy place, once upon a time. It was all about the family and friends, familiarity and warmth. People who use to live there were happy, there were smiley faces all around, and nobody could've guessed how something would go wrong. Sure, it went downhill, when certain vampire brothers came to town, but the situation was never so extreme, that they couldn't get out of it. And Bonnie refused to believe that this time was any different.

While, Damon, Alaric and herself were absent, Stefan and Caroline were left to take care of their hometown. And with absolute certainty, Bonnie could say she believed the two conscious vampires. If anybody stood their ground and thought twice before doing something, it was Stefan and Caroline. She felt safe, leaving the summer for Europe and knowing everything was under control. Because to be honest, control was Caroline Forbes's middle name. Yes, she had a little outing last year, with her humanity switched off, but Bonnie never blamed her for it. Losing a parent was an excruciating pain. It would break even the toughest. But, now Caroline was back on track and she was the perfect trusty number one person to leave things to. And, with Stefan along, things probably couldn't be better.

But, somehow that picture perfect about the vampire power couple was starting to fade away. It started with the phone call that Stefan directed at Damon while they were in Amsterdam. He said that Lilly and the heretics were back, after laying low for almost the entire summer. So, they could only expect things to get worse from now on.

Even though she had a set of her own problems that involved Damon, Bonnie had to be prepared for new ones. And they didn't look promising.

„Tell me you're not feeling guilty for what we did." The man on her right said to her.

„Of course not." Bonnie smiled. „He had it coming."

„Good. Cause I am enjoying myself more than I probably should." Alaric laughed, as they accepted two glass of bourbons from the flight attended. After taking a satisfied sip, he looked back at her with a serious face. „What's wrong?"

„Nothing. I'm just...thinking about this Lilly problem." Bonnie shook her head.

The truth was, there was something else bothering her the last few days. She couldn't get certain thoughts out of her head. Or better said, _into_ her head. She had a feeling she was missing something and she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. And now she was flying back home, to confront a bunch of problems she wasn't really ready to deal with.

„Hey, Ric. What's been going on with you this trip?" she asked. Maybe confronting Alaric with his own problems, could help her come to terms with her own.

„What do you mean?" he frowned.

„Something's not right." She told him. He knew what she was talking about, he just didn't really want to talk about it. „I mean aside from the fact, that you and Damon have been drunk almost the entire trip along... _you_ weren't really that drunk?"

His face fell down. He diverted his look onto the glass in his hands, sighing heavily.

„I didn't fake it the entire time. I did drink. A lot. But, I stopped myself at the right time, faked my unconsciousness and...went on my own."

„Went where?"

„Out."

„Why would you lie just so you could go out?" Bonnie asked confused.

„I didn't lie. I _was_ drunk off my ass in Prague. And Sicily. Those cocktails of yours killed me." They both laughed. „And Barcelona. I got wasted after the psychic we went to. Mostly, I knew my limit and when I was nearing it, I stopped with the drinking. Sometimes I just needed some time on my own."

Bonnie felt a little guilty. How was it possible that this entire trip she didn't notice what he was doing? What was he going through? He was still mourning the death of his wife and two unborn children, while she was...doing what exactly? Cruising foreign countries, writing a diary to someone who might not even read it one day, getting crazy drunk and having an alcoholic amnesia, all the while feeling sorry for herself and fighting with her best friend over some idiotic stuff he did?

And speaking of the idiotic best friend, where was _he_ all the while? Damon was with Ric most of his time, and somehow he managed to miss all the signs there was something wrong with his drinking buddy. Wasn't the point of this trip to help Ric get through his grief and move on with his life? What the hell was Damon so preoccupied with, not to notice what was happening right in front of his eyes?

She was so pissed with him. So much, there were times she thought she should abandon this crazy friendship the two of them shared and go back to the way they treated each other before they got stuck in 1994. prison world. At least back then, it didn't hurt so damn much, when he did something stupid. He didn't care about her back then, so it wouldn't be a surprise when he would mess something up. Now, knowing he did care, and still did things he knew that would eventually hurt her, caused her even more pain than she expected.

Things between the two of them couldn't be more stretched. There was this weird heavy tension, with awkwardness floating around them, all the time. And, Bonnie could say it started a day earlier in Amsterdam when he almost let her die from a truck coming...but she knew better. Things were awkward ever since Italy. And that was without counting in that night when they locked lips. That night that would go as _'the night that never happened'_ down in history.

She still couldn't get over the fact he tried to leave her at the airport in Italy. And to that, adding the Amsterdam incident, she was all fed up. He kept screwing things up. Which was the main reason she came up with the solution. The solution that was happening right now, while she and Ric were in the air, flying first class, compliments of Damon Salvatore's Platinum credit card, that he was probably looking for as we speak.

Clicking her glass against Ric's, while he was laughing self contently, she looked down to the liquid in the glass.

„Can I ask you something?" she directed a question to the man beside her, instead of drinking it down. When he nodded, giving her his full attention, she continued. „Did you ever got that drunk you forgot an entire day?"

Ric paused in thinking. Then he smiled and turned his head to her with an amused face expression.

„Second year of college. I literally erased three days of my life. I started to drink Thursday morning, when I found out I passed my Logistics exam and woke up Sunday in the dawn, naked, in a tub at some cheap motel room, in New Mexico. Oh, and there was a chicken in the tub with me. And my roommate was in the room next to mine, in the bed with the roaster." Pause. „ At our defense, we might've taken some LSD along with it."

Bonnie burst out laughing and he joined her.

Moments like these, you could easily forget about the recent tragedies he suffered through. It was probably Damon rubbing off on him, using humor and alcohol to distract himself and the others from his pain and the events that ruined his life. She couldn't exactly blame Ric on it. She did the same sometimes. It was ridiculous and kind of creepy, how easily Damon could get under someone's skin, without even noticing it.

„Did something like that ever happened to you?" Ric asked her.

„I don't know." She answered, serious all of the sudden. She took a deep breath. „It seems, that I don't really remember Spain. At all. The last thing I remember, before we got there, was the flight over to Madrid."

„The one, where Damon-"

„Yeah. And the first thing I remember in Spain was waking up in my huge hotel suite, with you banging loudly at my door and telling me to hurry because we had a flight to catch to Bruxelles."

„You don't remember _anything_ else?" Ric frowned at her.

„It's not like I don't remember being in Spain...I am aware we were there...but I just don't know what happened there."

„Well, Damon and I lost track of you, during the festival in Barcelona, after the psychic we all visited together."

None of it sounded familiar to her, but she let Ric talk further.

„We tried to find you, but couldn't. Damon dragged me into our hotel room after I _really_ got very drunk. We drank a little, while we were all still together, but it wasn't in such big amounts. And you didn't seem that drunk either." He pulled his phone out and showed her a picture of three of them, dressed in awesome costumes, her and Ric laughing happily and Damon rolling his eyes. „You remember the costumes? You made us dress up for the festival?"

She took Ric's phone and looked through the other photos. She didn't remember taking them, but she couldn't say it wasn't her.

„Maybe it happened after I separated from you and Damon. Maybe I drank too much tequila and maybe that's just the really wrong drink for me." She gave Ric his phone back. She didn't wanted to talk about it anymore. It frustrated the hell out of her.

„Do you remember the psychic?"

„No! I don't remember anything!" she said angry. Turning her head towards Alaric, she could see the worried look in his eyes. The anger and frustration downed a little, with curiosity and a little bit of concern rising. She tilted her head and lowed her voice down. „Why?"

„Sorry. It doesn't matter." He tried to dismiss her question, which only made her concern growing.

„Then why do I get the feeling it does?"

„It doesn't. Don't worry about it."

„Except now, I _do_ worry about it." Ric diverted his eyes from her and she slowly felt panic rising in her. „What's going on, Ric? What happened with the psychic?"

„Bonnie, it's nothing."

„If it's nothing, why are you acting so strange?" when he finally looked back at her, she widened her eyes. „Just tell me."

Ric sighed, clearly struggling and cursing himself for saying anything to her. Bonnie felt like her lungs were filling with air, but it was impossible to get it out. As he slowly started to talk, she could feel a strange cold covering over her body.

„Some things she said to you...were uncalled for. And you shouldn't believe her or give her any credit. It was like a very bad joke."

„What did she say?"

„Bonnie..." he shook his head, hesitating on saying anything more, but she was determent to know.

„What did she say?!"

„She said you were gonna die."

* * *

A smiling woman startled him by leaning closely down into to his face.

„Hi. Is everything in order?"

„Yes, thank you." he managed to smile at the flight attendant.

„Can I get you anything?"

„You got any bourbon?"

„Unfortunately no. Vodka is the best I can offer." She smiled tightly at him.

He doubted into her words, but that's what he got for flying coach.

„Can I ask you for a Bloody Mary, then?" he smiled falsely.

„I'll see what I can do."

He watched her walk away from him, the smile disappearing instantly. This flight was a bust for Damon. Aside from the fact, he was flying coach, he was all alone. Bonnie and Ric pulled a real _Damon Salvatore_ on him and left him this morning, catching the only direct flight to Atlanta. By the time he received the text from Ric, saying how he and Bonnie were already in the air, Damon was still in their hotel bar in Amsterdam, drinking alone.

So, he had no choice, but to catch the flight for New York and then, somehow get to Mystic Falls. He didn't want to abandon their trip, yet. He wanted to stay for a while more, but as always, Stefan had ruined their fun. The heretics were back and slowly raising hell in their hometown. Ric and Bonnie immediately felt the need to run away and fix the problem, and he felt only extremely annoyed.

So, it shouldn't have come as a surprise that they left him.

Was he mad that his friends left him alone without a word and in a foreign country? Yeah, he was pissed. For like, 10 seconds. Until he received texts from Bonnie herself.

 _'It's not what it looks like, I would never leave you behind in a foreign country. Just like you wouldn't do that to me, either._

 _Have a safe flight back! Or don't. See if I care.'_

It was her idea, for sure. And Ric supported her, 100 %. Damon respected them both for it. He even laughed himself at the joke. Bonnie wasn't somebody who he could mock to or crossover. She always stood her ground with him and never let him get away with what he did.

Even though, recently... subconsciously, she was doing exactly that.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a significant item. Or, better said, a part of the item. It was unbelievable that this little thing had so much power, to do the impossible. To do the thing for him, that he wasn't able to do himself alone. Keep her away from him. Not literally, but in a way, it kept Bonnie away from his games and who knows what sinister thoughts he had in his mind.

And, it wasn't an easy task, either. He had to go back to that creepy lady that claimed she was a psychic. He wasn't completely honest with Ric, that night. He said he didn't believe a word what the woman had said, but on some level, he was aware, she said some real truths to him. She wasn't so keen on helping him either, but he promised he would consider her words in the future and of course, paid her a big load of money. She gave in and did what he asked of her, in return just giving him one last advice.

„ _No esperes honestidad de aquellos a quienes regalas solo mentiras. Podrías caer en tu propia trampa." (_ _Do not expect honesty from those to whom you give only lies._ _You could fall into your own trap_ _.)_

As if he didn't hear that one before.

But, what did she know about him and Bonnie, anyway?

Their relationship was complicated, even more than it looked to others on the outside. So, he was in an obligation to keep any more complications coming out on the open.

Did he felt guilty for doing what he did? No. He absolutely didn't. Because everything he did, was solely for one reason. One reason that could top off any other suggestion of why it was so wrong what he did. One reason that no one could contradict, no matter what.

To protect her.

It was all he really wanted to do. To keep her safe, from any heartbreaks or dangers or any events that would bring any kind of harm to her. Even when it meant from himself alone. And, exactly those kinds were the ones that scared him the most. She said it herself. _Just because she could take a lot of shit in her life, doesn't mean she always had to._ So, he made sure she shouldn't have to.

Although he said to himself, he wasn't being selfish with her and that it was quite the opposite, there was a small reason, that might've been a little self-centered. He didn't want to lose her. And everything that happened indicated, that was exactly what would happen. He would lose her, her friendship, her company, her love and every single thing that made him lucky to have her in his life.

So, in his reality, i.e. in his head, he had no other choice.

What was the only thing he could do? Sip his Bloody Mary and enjoy the rest of the flight. He sloshed the spicy, sour taste of his drink in his mouth and closed his eyes to get some rest.

* * *

Mystic Falls, Virginia

Coming back to an empty hometown, Bonnie and Damon learned that they would have to surpass any obstacle from dealing with each other and to take things into their own hands before something else got out of hand. Ironically, they were absolutely awesome at dealing with the heretics. At least that was the thought when they killed that heretic, their first night back in town.

It was classic Bonnie and Damon plan. They weren't like Stefan and Caroline, who were used to dealing with stuff on the more sane, responsible side. Not that Bonnie wasn't responsible enough, but the thing was, sometimes you have to do things the hard way, you have to pick your poison and stake your claim, go on with a bang. Make sure you send the right message to your enemy. So, that was what they did.

And, although it pained to admit, she enjoyed it a bit more than she should have.

It was hard not to, with Damon and his pep talk, how they were the real power couple of this town, and not his lame ass, giving up, cowered brother and his rational, goody two shoes, blonde girlfriend. They were always the ones who took care of things, the ones who came up with the _awesome_ plans, with an _awesome_ agenda, and an even more _awesome_ showdown. He was so proud of them and so enthusiastic about the two of them working together and taking down that heretic, she had to laugh and agree how great it felt.

She was a bit reserved still, because of all the stunts (if they ever were stunts) he played on her, but somehow it was becoming easier to fall down into the same old routine with him. She did get back at him with leaving him in Amsterdam, plus she was still in the possession of his platinum card, but he was also very sincere and even a bit sweet, in a very Damon Salvatore kind of way, with his three-second speech. It didn't mean it was all forgiven, but he seemed to be on a good path to that.

The flight and the fight made her all sore and tired, so after saying goodbye to Damon, she went back to her dorm room, hoping to surprise her roommate with her sudden comeback. But, by the time she got back, the room was empty and she was still tired. So, she stripped all of her clothes and went straight for a hot shower.

While the water massaged all her sore muscles and eased the tension in them, she thought about her conversation with Ric back on the plane. About the psychic and all her predictions. She couldn't shake the feeling off, this woman had something to do with her memory lapses. It seemed like the only possibility.

Was she scared of the predictions and stuff Ric told her? Not so much scared, as attentive. If it was true, what she suspected, that this woman was responsible for playing with her mind, it might be true, she had something to do with these future events she predicted, too. She might be involved in her future close death. And that didn't sit well with Bonnie.

* * *

This was just his luck. Of course, he would pick just the right time, to enter her room, while she was in the shower.

He couldn't stop his own mind from the dirty thoughts he had, simply by hearing the sound of her shower running. He could imagine the steamy fog inside the bathroom, the blurry mirror and the slippery surface of the wet tiles. Heavy droplets of hot water traveling down her naked body, exploring every dip and every curve of her figure.

He was sitting on her bed, outside the bathroom, listening to the water running down and pouring on her body, while vivid images clouded his mind. With each drop of the water, he could feel his sanity getting lost. Imagining his tongue following the drops, as they slid down her neck, shoulders, chest and stomach. Breathing in her scent, the familiar one, the one he loved so much, with his hands caressing her water slick skin.

It was torture. Pure torture for him.

He thought about crushing that shiny little piece, so it would all flow back to her. So, she could have the same images that he had. Maybe it would be a lesser torture for him, then. Or maybe it would be worse. The thing was, he didn't know what her reaction would be and he wasn't really keen on finding out, either.

He heard the sound of the bathroom door opening.

„Oh my God!" Bonnie screamed and jumped when she saw him sitting on the bed. He could hear the fast thumping of her frightened heart. Composing herself, she sighed and looked at him. „Damon! What are you doing here?"

She looked irritated, which wasn't surprising because it was how she usually looked like when he was near. He liked the way she acted around him. He had the ability to put her in alert, to ruffle her feathers and wind her up. It was a thrilling experience.

„I need a place to sleep." He said.

„Yeah, and I told you to go to Ric's."

She did. After their awesome act of killing a heretic, she told him he should go back to Ric's place, because she was expecting Caroline and she doubted that the blonde would agree to his company as well. He obliged to her wishes, but soon after arriving at the other man's humble abode, he was disappointed. He just came out of a fight, still all wound up and enthusiastic, while Ric was...well boring. He went to sleep. And Damon didn't want to sleep. He wanted to do something.

He observed Bonnie's outfit, that consisted of comfy cotton shorts and an old purple shirt that was stretched out and faded. Her hair was half wet from the shower and she was massaging in some facial cream over her cheeks, forehead and neck.

„Ric's boring. Plus, you and I kicked some serious but tonight. I think that deserves a celebration." He quipped, as she shook her head at him and sighed once again.

„Damon, I'm already showered, in my PJ's, tired and sore. The only kind of celebration I can have right now is the _bed_ kind."

Damon raised his eyebrows at her. Realizing how that sounded she closed her eyes, shook her head and cleared her throat, before he had a chance to comment on it.

„That came out wrong."

Damon smirked at her adorable behavior. He stood up from the bed and walked closer to her, with his hands behind his back.

„Way ahead of you." he told her, stopping right in front of her. He retreated his hands in front, revealing he was holding a brown paper bag and started to pick out the items from it, while naming them „I came bearing gifts. Your favorite movie, your favorite drink and your favorite ice cream. All that, plus your most favorite person in the world." He smiled widely and tilted his head.

His smile was wide over his face, as he watched her assessing the items in his hands, while she crossed her arms under her chest. A DVD of _The Bodyguard_ , a brand new bottle of Elijah Craig and a black raspberry chocolate chip ice cream. She was trying hard not to show her satisfaction and joy over this little gesture. But, he knew her too well. It were the little things that counted to her. She respected those kind the most.

„I'm saying yes _only_ because of the movie. And the boozy ice cream. Not because of you." she said with her holding her chin up high.

She was a stubborn little witch. He loved it.

„Of course not." He smirked.

„You put the movie on. My laptop's over there." She pointed to the night table beside her bed and took the bottle and the ice cream out of his hands. „I'll take this."

„As you wish." He said, with a happy face.

* * *

 _Barcelona, Spain_

 _Bonnie's room was a grand hotel suite, for which Damon himself paid for. He felt bad for the stunt he pulled on her, at the airport in Rome, so he offered to pay for it. He knew it didn't matter to her, where she slept, but he wanted to do something for her. There was a living room area and a kitchenette, the walls were cream, the floors dark walnut. There were floor-to-ceiling windows that led to a private terrace, and a master bedroom with a king size bed and pure white, Egyptian cotton sheets on it._

 _He welcomed the darkness of the room. It was strangely comforting, like a secret promise just between the two of them._

 _It was easy getting away from the streets, away from prying eyes of the people around them. He was used to the rush and speed of the world flashing before his eyes. He's done it for 150 years now._

 _But, even though she experienced it a couple of times, to Bonnie it was still relatively new. It made her gasp in fear and surprise, rushed the blood away from her head and made her dizzy, so she was a wobbly mess that barely stood her ground, by the time they got to her room. He had to hold her close to himself, press her back against his front once again until she became aware of her surroundings._

 _Her skin was still fire against his and boy, did he wanted to burn. He dragged his fingers all over her arms, from her shoulders, down to her elbows, forearms and finally to her own fingers, which he gracefully folded into his fist._

„ _I never said I wanted to leave the streets, yet." She said to him, as he slowly blew over her neck, to simmer down the heat of her body._

„ _Why? Did you want to dance a bit more? Because I prefer to do it in privacy." He could feel the goosebumps waking up all over her skin, as he spoke those words into her ear. He started to sway slowly from side to side, practically gluing their bodies together. He could feel the sweat on her back, pressed nakedly on his own abdomen. Suddenly, he was feeling grateful for those ridiculous costumes she made them wore._

„ _Damon..." she tried to warn him._

 _It was like a song, hearing his name fall down from those lips. He never appreciated it more. And he wanted to make sure it didn't stop falling from her lips, all night long. In another flash, he turned her around and backed her up against a hard surface. He had her back against the wall, his hands holding her wrists, just above her head. Her breathing was shaky and shallow, from both fear and excitement. Her savory scent was drifting through his nostrils, the pungent cinnamon making his mouth dry._

 _He leaned in closer to press his body up against hers, letting go one of her wrists, brushing her hair away from her shoulder. He kissed her earlobe first, his lips slowly moving down to caress her neck with gentle butterfly kisses. Then he worked his way down to her collarbone, nibbling and sucking on her soft skin._

 _Her breath hitched, her body shivered and her heart pumped loudly in his ears that it seemed like the sweetest music he ever heard. He raised his face and leaned to rest his forehead against hers, their heavy breathing matching each other. He brushed her hair behind her ear and placed both of his palms over her cheeks, his thumb tracing over her lips and watching them hungrily._

 _She squirmed in her stand, releasing her face from his hold and turning her head to the side, with a deep sigh falling down from her lips._

„ _What are we doing?" her question came like a whisper. But, Damon didn't give up, his hands moved down her neck, not ready to release her._

„ _Does it matter?" he asked her._

 _Her eyes snapped back to his._

„ _Of course it does." She said her voice on edge._

 _His eyes locked on hers, for a moment, then they slowly traveled all over her face „You're so beautiful." He whispered, letting his look wander over her neck, down to her collarbone „I want to kiss every curve and dip of your body tonight." and finally to her chest, while his hands slid down to cup her breasts, yearning to feel their softness and warmth. „I need you, Bonnie..."_

„ _Damon..." her lips trembled and her eyes closed, as her head leaned back against the wall._

 _He took that as the opportunity to reach behind her and unclasp her sparkling bra top, which made her gasp in surprise and picked up the pace of her hammering heartbeat. With one hand he removed the top and dropped it to the ground._

„ _I love the way you say my name." He whispered against her lips. He wanted to kiss her lips, so desperately but didn't do it until this point, to make sure it was what they both wanted._

 _She looked relieved and something he hadn't seen in her eyes yet. It was fire, lust, and want._

 _He could feel her long and thin fingers brush off his already unbuttoned shirt from his shoulders, pressing the fingertips hard into his skin. When his shirt inaudibly reached the floor, his hungry mouth finally melded into hers and his hands slid down in search of a way to get her out of her complicated skirt. In mere seconds he had her almost naked, standing in front of him only in a pair of red silky seamless panties, which made his lips creep into a grin. He lifted her off her feet, wrapping her arms and legs around his body and carried her into the bedroom, to lay her down on the mattress._

 _He had this overwhelming need to touch her and to be touched by her, to kiss her and be kissed by her, to take and to receive. Damon felt bursting with energy. He felt his blood burning under his skin, crossing through his veins, making him feel more alive than he ever remembered._

 _Kissing her on the lips one more time, he dipped his head lower to the valley of her breasts, cupping them in the palms of his hands and slowly running his tongue around the dark tip. He could hear her ragged breaths and soft moans, as he played with her heated breasts in his mouth. Their warmth and softness felt like home to him, like he finally reached his destination. After his miserable existence that lasted for hundreds of years, he found his place in her embrace._

 _He loved the salty taste of her skin, as he licked his way down her body. And even more, he loved her gasp when he nuzzled his nose against her core. Raising her hips up and dragging the panties down her legs, he reveled in the heavy smell of her arousal. He widened her legs and kissed the inside of her thighs, with slow twirls of his tongue around her heated flesh. Her fingers gripped his hair tightly, pulling his face closer when he drove his tongue inside her._

„ _Oh, fuck..." she moaned, arching her back up._

 _He wasn't sure who was enjoying this more. He basked in the sounds she made, the squirming on the bed, the strong grip she had on his head, making sure he doesn't dare to stop before she was ready. It was utterly intoxicating. And when he added his fingers, she was already gone. She was hyperventilating, squeezing his head between her thighs, throwing her own head against the mattress and shaking uncontrollably. While her legs were clasped securely around his head, he made sure not to waste one drop._

 _When she finally released him from her grip, he raised his head, observing her in sweaty, flushed bliss. He leaned down, kissing and licking her neck and earlobe, making her hiss in a shaky breath._

„ _That was beautiful." He whispered in her ear._

 _She grabbed his neck and pressed their lips together, as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, making her taste herself. Her hands started to fumble with his pants, struggling to get him out of them. He obliged to her wishes, quickly taking off his pants and boxers all at once and laying back on top of her, continuing their kissing._

„ _Look at me." he whispered, as he detached his lips from hers._

 _He brushed a lock of her hair off her forehead, as he slipped easily into her warmth. He closed his own eyes and let out a helpless grunt, which he tried to suppress, but unsuccessfully. He plunged into her slowly at first, then started to pick up his pace, basking in her wetness and shuddering moans._ _He looked down into her eyes and all he could see in them, was himself. He could feel the heaviness and the tenderness in her look. The pool of shiny green was sparkling with a knowledge of him. It was such a strange feeling, to see his vulnerability and his humanity in the reflection of her eyes._

 _She was like an unfinished painting and he was like an artist with just the right brushes and paints. Every move he made was like a swipe of the brush against her canvas, getting her closer and closer to the finish. Every other thought just evaporated from his mind. He solely existed for her and nothing else._

 _He thought he was the one holding the control in his hands, he was so sure he was the one in charge. But, as he slowly lowered his head to kiss her gently on the lips, he became more and more aware he had surrendered himself completely to her. He let himself get lost in her smooth skin, soft lips and warm breaths, followed by whimpers of pleasure._

 _He was putty in her hands. Pathetically, ridiculously, over joyously putty. And he absolutely loved it._

 _She surprised him a little, by switching their positions, as he felt his back making contact with the mattress. She straddled him, gripping his shoulders for her balance and pushed his length deeper inside her. Her eyes closed, she let her head fall back, getting completely lost in the feeling. Damon pulled his back up from the bed, sitting up, encircling one arm around her waist, the other deep in her soft hair, pressing his chest against her breasts. She moved up and down his cock, and he nuzzled his face between her shoulder and neck, leaving sloppy kisses all around. He slid his hand between their bodies, pressing his fingers against her most sensitive piece._

 _And then, he could hear her heartbeat thudding loudly once again, her raspy inhales and nails digging roughly into his back. She was throwing her head back, shivering and squirming in complete pleasure._

 _Her delicate neck was on display, just in front of him, so beautiful and untouched. Before he even knew what he was thinking or doing, his head dropped down and his teeth pierced through her skin, straight into her carotid, taking large gulps of her blood and pumping up his hips roughly into hers, bursting himself from ecstasy, that flooded through his brain, feeling blissful and alive. He held her like that for a long time after, still buried deep inside her, while licking the blood off her neck, that kept guzzling from the puncture wounds he made. When she finally seemed to come to her senses, he slipped out of her and laid her down carefully on the bed._

„ _You okay?" he asked, leaning down and looking into her eyes._

 _She didn't give him an answer, but instead, pulled his body down onto hers and kissed him with great determination and passion. The scent of their hot sex was still lingering in the air, and as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, he felt himself growing hard once again._ _ _ _The press of their sweaty bodies, rolling naked in the sheets, gazing into each other's eyes, their breathing fast and rough, the smiles in the middle of their kisses, it was all he could think about.  
___

 _The night was far from over._

Mystic Falls, Virginia  


His eyes snapped open. It was dark around the room, except for only light coming from the screen of Bonnie's laptop, on which he could see Whitney Houston running out of the plane and kissing Kevin Costner, while an epic song was playing in the background. Damon sat up and closed the computer off, setting it down on the floor, next to the bed.

Bonnie was asleep with her head away turned from him. He thought about getting up and going to Elena's bed to sleep, as Bonnie told him to do after the movie. But as he watched her peaceful pose, listened to slow breathing and inhaling the smell of her freshly washed hair, he decided to stay. He laid back into the bed and slowly pressed himself against her side.

He froze a little, when he felt her squirming around and dropping incoherent sounds off her lips. She turned facing him and set her head on his chest, releasing a deep, relaxed breath, as he gently pulled her closer to himself. She was so soft and warm, he wanted to hold her like that forever. But, he knew he couldn't, so he would have to settle for just tonight.

As much as she was unreachable and forbidden to him, he wanted to make sure, she was always safe. He needed to fix things with her, to strengthen the friendship they shared. The fact that she was willing to wear the title of his best friend, even after all the shit he did, meant he was in her heart and that was enough for him. The fact that he wanted her to be more and that he wanted to meant more to her, needed to be forgotten. Forever.

Because, he would never come even close to the man she deserved and he refused to diminish her values.

She was supposed to be the one that would stood by his side, while he waited for the girl of his dreams. And instead, she became the one that invaded his nights and moments of alone time, with tasteful memories of a delicious and fervent night, that would be impossible to forget.

Well, to him at least.

* * *

 _ **AN: Now you know what happened in Spain. I hope you guys liked it. I am not very skilled in writing smut.**_

 _ ***Fun little fact* I actually had the scene written from Bonnie's POV, and it was supposed to be revealed in the later chapters, but I decided to write Damon's here instead and I like how different it came out from Bonnie's (you'll see what I mean later).  
**_

 _ **Damon did something to Bonnie to make her forget about the night they shared, but he's damn stupid if he thinks it's gonna stay secret fore long. LOL. Their relationship is very complex and I enjoy making it an even bigger tangled mess.**_

 _ **As, for the rest, I am not changing the canon of the first half of season 7 that much, but some thing will be different (especially when we go into the future, 5 years from now). You'll get the gist of it, as we go further. I was hoping to wrap this timeline in 2 or 3 more chapters, but I am not sure if it's gonna work that way, so I'm giving myself a limit.**_

 _ **First 10 chapters will be the first part of the story, and then we're diving into the future.**_

 _ **If you have any questions, ask away. I'll try to answer in the next update. And I would love to hear what you thought of this one.  
**_

 _ **Soundtracks: Julia Michaels - Worst In Me (plane rides); Rudimental feat. Foy Vance - Never Let You Go (Bamon back in Mystic Falls); Two Feet - Love Is A Bitch (Spain flashback).  
**_

 _ **Love to you all, people! ;)  
**_


	6. Chapter 6 - I always end up in your arms

**Chapter 6 - I always end up in your arms**

 _5 years later; Dallas, Texas_

 _Her chest felt like they were about to burst. Her throat was thickening and sore. In her stomach was some wrenching nausea, like a hot lava that was cooking inside of her, trying to find it's way out. She couldn't keep her hands still. They were shaking like a baby bird would, if you let it in the freezing snow. Her eyes burned from all the tears that kept pouring out like rivers. Caroline hated this feeling. She thought she had finally passed that stage in her life. She thought she was finally in peace, living and loving her family and the life she built for herself. She thought she was safe now. She thought her family was safe now._

 _But, the thing she was supposed to learn a long time ago, was, she was never safe enough from grief._

 _When she lost her mother a few years back, that feeling stayed with her for a long time and she thought she was going to die of the pain. So, she took the easy way out. She shut off her humanity. That idea was slowly easing into her mind once again. She didn't want to hurt this way, this hard. She wanted to be free of it, to mash it all down and go on with her life, but the reality was always around the corner to get her mind back on track._

 _She glanced at her phone, checking the time on it, looking at her screensaver in form of her two beautiful daughters dressed in matching dresses, with beaming smiles and posing like true models. She smiled widely, but her face scrunching into another cry. She saw she had two missed calls and three new texts. There was no point in checking from who it was. She already knew. But, she couldn't bear the thought to talk to him right now. There were no words she could find to express what she went through tonight._

 _Her head raised, when she heard heeled boots walking towards her. A woman with a hot pixie cut and angled jaw approached her with a cup, that had hot steam wafting from it._

„ _Here's your coffee." She handed it to her gently, taking a seat in a chair across from Caroline._

 _The beverage was black and sweet. She could actually smell the sweetness from two teaspoons of sugar that the woman put in. Caroline hated plain black coffee. She hated its taste. She never drank it, and if she really had to, she would mix the half with heavy cream and drowned about five teaspoons of sugar._

„ _Are you feeling alright, Ms. Forbes? If you want we can have the EMT check you out?"_

 _She just shook her head, as she took a sip of the awful drink. It tasted bitter and earthy, but the hotness of it burned her tongue and at the same calmed her senses a little._

„ _I am very sorry for what you went through tonight." The woman spoke._

 _Caroline raised her blue eyes to her. She observed her dark brown eyes, full lips, umber skin and strong body posture that just screamed 'law and order'._

 _Caroline looked to the side, over the desk to which she was sitting next to, noticing a stack of papers, files, pencils, clips and a laptop on top of it. She noticed the black name tag with golden letters written on it: 'Detective Elizabeth Leighhorn'._

 _Her eyes narrowed slightly at the name tag and her mouth opened up a bit. She chuckled a little to herself, only now noticing the woman had the same name as her deceased mother. Were all Elizabeth's bound to be cops? Maybe even her daughter Lizzie expected the same fate. Who would know?_

„ _Can you tell us one more time what happened tonight at Karen's dinner? What did you see when you came in there?"_

 _Caroline noticed there was another man standing next to detective Elizabeth. She remembered he was her partner and he introduced himself, while they were still at the crime scene. His name was Ramirez or Rodriguez, something like that. He was a little shorter, and he had thick, dark hair, with dark, almost black eyes. He had mustaches and a dark brown suit jacket with dark slacks, while a shiny badge glimmered from his belt buckle._

 _She took a deep breath in, as she heard the woman detective list another set of questions to her, but she couldn't phantom to remember them all._

„ _It was around 11 p.m. when I parked my car in front of the dinner." She started to talk, cutting off the other woman. She cleared her throat and closed her eyes for a moment, reminiscing about the details of this awful terrible night._ „ _It was quiet and there were not too many cars parked around. Maybe two, or three, aside from mine. I checked the time on my cellphone before entering, it was pretty late."_

„ _What were you doing there in that time of the night, anyway?" the man asked suspiciously._

 _She turned her eyes to him, sharp as she could and threw knives with her tired blue orbs._

„ _I went to meet up with a friend." She spat out to him._

„ _There wasn't any other place where you could meet up with?"_

„ _No." She said bitterly._

„ _Okay, Ms. Forbes." The woman tried to ease the tension. „What happened then?"_

„ _I opened the door of the dinner and saw all the lights were off. For a moment there I thought the place was closed, but then I..." she swallowed hard._

 _Her throat was clenching again. She remembered the smell. Like rain poured on a lightly rusted iron. Blood. Lots of blood._

„ _I went to find a switch and I almost tripped on something...slippery...and thick..." her voice shook „When I turned the switch on, behind the counter..." she closed her eyes hard, with another set of tears pouring out. „I was standing in a middle of a-a slaughterhouse."_

 _As a vampire, she shouldn't have been bothered by blood, but it wasn't the blood that scared her altogether. It was what she saw in front of her, flashes of that scene that came into her mind: blood, dead bodies, crossed eyes opened in horror, blood smeared on the floors, on the walls, on the tables and countertops, men, women, scattered around in pools of their own blood._

 _Detective Elizabeth handed her a handkerchief to wipe her tears off, which she took and clenched into her tight fist. She felt that weight on her chest overwhelming her, while she talked how she ran out of the dinner and threw up all the contents from her stomach. And how, after she got to her senses a bit, managed to set her brain straight for a moment to call the police._

 _The whole time, the woman was sympathetically, but strictly nodding her head, listening to her story, while the man next to her, just listened in silence, with any sign of emotion covering his face._

„ _And your friend? The one you were supposed to meet there? Did...did you see him... or her?"_

 _Caroline felt her heart constrict in her chest. She lost her breath and that nausea was starting to catch up with her. She already felt that hot lava in the back of her throat, but she managed to swallow it back down._

„ _I did. She was in there. She was dead." She managed to say, as she was once again transported to the exact place and time in her mind._

 _'She saw herself, standing in front of the dinner, kneeling down on the ground, her hands clenching tightly the cell phone after the 911 call. Her breathing was shallow and heavy, and when she raised her head to look up at the sky, it was like time stopped._

 _The stars were shining like white and golden pearls, scattered around the silky background of the midnight sky and all she could remember at the time were the nights she used to spent in Mystic Falls, looking over to the stars, admiring nature's handiwork. Mystic falls had the prettiest night skies. She could spend whole nights, sometimes, just starting up the sky, in peace and quiet._

 _Her legs straightened themselves like they were on automatic, and her body turned to face the dinner again. She felt her eyes were dried of all tears and her throat was dry like sandpaper, too, as her feet carried her back inside the dinner._

 _She heard the bell dangling above her head as she opened the door once again. She started walking like a robot, jumping over the dead body of the waitress and stepping into the blood, coating her shoes with the thick dark color, leaving footprints over the floor. There were legs sticking out behind a table at the end of the dinner and she observed the shoes on them. They were black ankle lace-up boots and their shoe sole was barely used, which meant were pretty new._

 _As she slowed her steps, letting her eyes fall on the person in front of her, she didn't even notice she was clenching her fists so tight that they were starting to bleed out. Her breath hitched and one of her hands flew to her mouth to contain herself when she recognized that face._

 _Caroline started to shake uncontrollably, looking at the face of the familiar girl that she used to call her best friend. She once again fell down to her knees, losing all her restraint, as she crawled down to pull the girl into her lap, stroking the pretty features of her face and long dark hair. Her eyes were closed and her skin was cold, she was limp and heavy, her face expression empty, her heart with no sign of life at all._

 _Caroline knelled and rocked the girl in her arms, her tears falling down on the blank face, stroking her hair away from her forehead, trying to remember the features of the girl's face when her lips were spread into a smile and her eyes glowing with happiness,... as the red and blue flashes neared from the outside, with a distant sound of sirens, announcing the police was there.'_

 _Caroline jumped in her seat, when she felt the detective's hand on her forearm, blinking away the memory from her mind and watching the other detective approach with a big stack of paper towels. She looked down at her lap and noticed the coffee she was holding in her hand was spilled all over her pants and the floor. That's when she felt the warmth and wetness of her clothes._

„ _I am very sorry for your loss." The detective told her as she helped her get up from the chair. „The bodies will be transferred to the local mortuary. I will give you their contact so you can prepare everything for the funeral service once after the autopsy is done." She still hadn't let her go, as she walked her out of the police station. „Officer Tawkin will get you home now and we'll be in touch the next few days."_

 _Caroline looked for a moment at the officer and then diverted her eyes back to detective Elizabeth._

„ _Please, if you happen to find out anything...-"_

„ _Don't worry. I'll make sure, you'll be informed about the updates of the investigation." The woman assured her sweetly. „Go home and try to get some rest, Ms. Forbes."_

„ _Thank you." she said shortly, turning around and entering the already opened door of the squad car that was supposed to take her home. She slipped inside on the back seat and sighed heavily when the door closed. After everything, there was only one more thing she wanted to do then: see her daughters._

* * *

Caroline was suspicious. She was tired and mad because the lack of sleep, but most of all she was suspicious. She didn't know exactly how to react to the scene in front of her, but she was quite sure it was not normal.

And, just to be clear, coming from a girl who faced death every day, who was already one of the living dead, who faced the oldest vampires in the world, a pack of a vengeful werewolves, a creepy crush and courtship from a thousand-year-old hybrid...it meant something.

This was by far, one of the most upsetting scenes she was encountered for.

Damon and Bonnie were sleeping together. Actually _sleeping_ , like in their clothes and in the same bed, and all.

Like platonic.

Although, judging by their behavior, the last few weeks, ever since they got back from their Euro Tour, _platonic_ was the last word Caroline would use to describe their dynamic. She didn't want to go on and accused them of something wrong, but this simply wasn't how two _friends_ acted.

Damon and Bonnie were so depended on each other and one would always support an idea from the other, no matter how dumb or un-reasoned it was. They talked and hang out daily. If they weren't in her dorm room, they were at the Skull bar, or back in Mystic Falls, in the boarding house, or the Grill. They did everything together, they cooked, they watched movies and TV shows, they played games, drank, ate, drove aimlessly around or simply talked just about anything.

Sure it seemed innocent enough, but it wasn't.

For Caroline, that was not how two _friends_ acted. She and Stefan were friends first and they actually evolutionized from a simple friendship to a real relationship. But, they were never like Bonnie and Damon.

For instance, take last night and this morning.

Vaguely, she remembered last night, Bonnie and her were awoken by the sound of little rocks hitting their window. The witch was the one to get up and opened the said window to inspect what was disturbing their sleep. Caroline didn't hear the whole thing, but apparently, Damon was too drunk to go home, so he wanted to crash at their dorm. Bonnie hesitantly let him in, and hushed him inside of the room, constantly, warning him how Caroline was still sleeping, so he had to keep quiet, to which he produced snorting sounds and seas of _pfff's_ and _I don't care_ 's.

And this morning, she was surprised to see Elena's bed empty, thinking how the vampire must've left before dawn, just as her eyes fell on her other best friend's bed.

The witch and the vampire were sleeping peacefully together. Bonnie was practically spooning Damon, with her one hand and leg hunched up over him, while the vampire looked passed out, drooling all over the pillow.

She knew Bonnie considered Damon her best friend, but the blonde never let her guard down with the blue-eyed vampire. She thought he was taking to many liberties, especially concerning her best friend. He had Elena once, and as much as she tried to fight him off of her, he had a hold on her and there was nothing anybody could do about it. Elena had imprinted _Damon's_ on her forehead and there was no way she could break free from him.

But, Bonnie was a whole other story. She was the rational one, the smart one, the sane one. She was not bound to fall down for the elder Salvatore, as soon as he directed his beautiful blue eyes on her. She knew how to handle Damon and she knew how to step up to him, even when everybody else didn't dare. They might've become closer and deepened their bond in the prison world, but Bonnie sweared she would never go easy on him.

And now, to Caroline, it seemed she was stepping back. The witch dropped down her guard with Damon, ever since that sleeping spell, as an excuse that he was having a hard time.

Who cared?

They all had a hard time dealing with it, and Caroline suspected Bonnie was actually the one bearing the biggest cross, her life being linked to Elena's and all, but they all went with it. Damon had no right, claiming his mistakes as a consequence of losing the love of his love. And Bonnie should not forgive him for it, either.

„It's rude to stare, Blondie." Damon said with his eyes still closed.

The blonde rolled her eyes, as she raised her homemade Cinnamon Dolce Frappuccino to her lips and took a sip.

„It's also rude, to wake up someone in the middle of the night drunkenly serenading them _Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart_ under their window." She answered bitterly.

The male vampire opened his one eye in alert and observed the blonde with it, while she proudly sipped her beverage away.

„It wasn't meant for you." he mumbled against the pillow.

„I know." Caroline said darkly.

He took a deep breath in and slowly tried to detangle himself from the girl next to him. He carefully set her arm on the bed, putting himself in a sitting position. He observed her for a moment. Peacefully sleeping, lost in her dreams, with a content face expression. One corner of his mouth raised and he turned around to look where the vampire girl was. When he saw she had her head turned away from them, he quickly leaned down and set a little kiss on the witch's forehead, failing to see or notice that Caroline was observing him in the mirror above the dresser, she was just looking into.

He raised himself from the bed and putting on his boots, grabbing the jacket in his hands, he left the room, without another word.

Caroline turned around just in time when the door closed and sighed heavily, watching her best friend deep in her sleep, completely oblivious to what was happening around her.

But, was she really that oblivious?

Caroline doubted that. If there was anybody more insightful and prone to details, it was Bonnie Bennett. So, how was it possible she could be so blind in this case? Did she really not see the amount of loyalty and affection Damon had been giving to her? Maybe it was simply easier to ignore it. Maybe she didn't want to admit it, because dealing with it, could possibly destroy the bond that they had and it would devastate Bonnie to lose that.

Whatever it was, Caroline knew it wasn't going to end up well. From experience she knew, these kind of things never worked out. Somebody would eventually end up hurt, and she could only hope it wouldn't be Bonnie.

* * *

He noticed something today. It was starting.

Realistically, he was aware that at a certain point, this would happen and he thought he would be prepared for when it did happen. But, right now, looking straight at the eyes of the possibility, he wasn't so sure about it.

He saw it while they were spending their normal Sunday afternoon drinking light alcohol drinks and playing darts at the Scull bar, that was near her campus. He was seriously kicking her butt in darts. And she was always a sour loser.

„Oh, Bon, such skill in magic and such lack of it in games."

„Easy for you, when you cheat."

„I do not cheat. I am just more experienced."

„Yeah, 200 years more experienced. That's called cheating."

„176 years. And you are just jealous." Damon winked at her.

Bonnie rolled her eyes at Damon, passing him the darts and taking a seat on a bar stool behind his back.

„It's all about the tehnic." He proudly said, raising a dart in front of his face and aiming preciously. „You see, it's all about the angle in which you align yourself with the board." He threw the first dart, gaining points.

„You need to reduce the possibility of your elbow drifting away from your body." He says aiming the other one and hitting bull. „But, of course, that means nothing without the proper use of your knuckles. You need to use just enough pressure holding the dart between your knuckles and your thumb. Once you get the hang of it, you just let the dart slip out from your fingers."

Bullseye.

He smiled widely at his work.

„See that, Bon? Perfection."

But, instead of hearing her frustrating sighs or attacking him with another round of cheating praise, she was silent. Which was a bit odd.

„Bon." He called her, turning his body in her direction, seeing her jerk from some kind of trance or something, where she just looked at him questionably.

„You're up." He said pointing to the board.

She slowly slipped from the stool and walked over to the board, taking the darts out and walking over to the marked stand. He caught her eyes, for just a second, looking behind his shoulder and smiling goofily, quickly turning her back on him and aiming the board. Curious, Damon turned his back to see what exactly made her smile in a half-empty bar on a Sunday afternoon. The only thing he could see was a guy seated at the far away table, throwing her looks and smiles, observing her body in a very suggestive way.

Damon turned back to Bonnie, seeing she was done with her throwing and getting the darts out, not managing to score even one point. She walked over to him, handed him the darts, wearing a light smile on her lips and passing him by, taking a seat on the stool again.

She wasn't concerned about the game anymore, she seemed to be in her own world. He noticed her dreamy eyes and the pointed, shy looks she passed over to the guy, smiling like a naive schoolgirl at him and biting her lower lip nervously.

Yeah, he expected it to happen. Bonnie was a pretty girl and there were guys that liked to direct their curious glances and lustful looks across the room to her. That wasn't a surprise. But he was also aware, there would come a time, when she would start to notice those looks and start to respond to them, with equal interest. And he wasn't really prepared for that.

But, whether he liked it or not, it was starting.

* * *

„Is this seat taken?"

Bonnie raised her eyes, looking at his familiar friendly face and smiling at him, she watched him take a seat at the table. She hasn't seen Stefan since she left for Europe and that was months ago. Now, that he and Caroline were officially together, she guessed, she was going to start seeing him a lot more.

„I saw you sitting here all by yourself, and I thought I should come by and say hi." He smiled politely.

„Well, Hi." she said.

Bonnie closed the book, she's been reading for the last hour and a half. Being Ric's new TA was so much more than she thought it would be. She actually loved it. Aside from the fact, she was grading freshman's papers, she had access to the greatest collection of Occult books and that made her extra giddy.

„How you've been? I haven't seen you in such a long time. You look good, Bonnie."

„Thanks. So do you." As always, Stefan was kind and polite. She smiled back at him, thinking how happy her best friend must be, to dating such a nice guy like him. „You're here to see Caroline?"

„I'm waiting on her, while she's getting dressed. We're gonna go grab some lunch. You wanna come?"

„On your romantic date? Sure, I've always wanted to be the third wheel." She answered sarcastically and snorted. „No, thanks."

„It's not much of a romantic date, since I can't touch her, without catching fire and I don't think Caroline likes her men flambeed."

Yeah, she meant to look up for a solution of that problem, but dealing with Ric, her classes, not to mention Damon, took out most of her time.

„Was that a joke?" she faked shock, with a hint of amusement. „I had no idea you knew how to tell a joke. And it was a good one, too. Color me impressed."

„Okaaay..." Stefan frowned deeply like he was trying to solve a problem. Bonnie started to laugh at him.

„And we're back to _brooding Stefan_." She nodded, looking at him. „Good. I know how to act around _that_ one. Just, do me a favor and warn me if you start munching on a squirrel." She laughed.

„Wow!" Stefan exclaimed, raising his eyebrows and observing closely the girl in front of him. „I think Caroline might be right. You do sound like my brother."

„What?" Bonnie frowned in confusion.

„Caroline has been..." he hesitated a little. „Well, she's been...worried. She said you were spending a lot of time with Damon and she thinks...that that's not exactly very healthy...for you."

„I know she doesn't like Damon." Bonnie tried to rationalize.

„He's starting to rub off on you."

„No, he's not." She said offended.

„You're right." Stefan said. „He's not. He already _is_ rubbing off on you."

Bonnie snorted, frustrated with Stefan and his insinuations. When did he get the right to talk about her spending too much time with a guy? And Caroline, too? Okay, yeah, Bonnie was aware of the dislike the blonde held against Damon, and she warned her about the vampire taking too much of Bonnie's time, but this was just ridiculous. Didn't these two had some other business rather than discuss other people's relationship? They should've focused on their own!

„Stefan, with all due respect, you're starting to piss me off. Why don't you and your little blonde girlfriend stay away from conversations that involve judging me and my bad moves?" She said with more attitude than she intended. And as soon as the words left her lips, her eyes widened in shock. „Oh, God! I do sound like him!"

„It's not really that bad." Stefan licked his lips, trying hard not to laugh and failing.

„I just called Caroline, _your little blonde girlfriend_!"

„I meant, it's not all that bad!" he managed to cut her off before she made a bigger deal than it was. „Look, if he's rubbing onto you, it means that it goes the other way around, too. He might catch up some of your great qualities. And that could be a good thing, Bonnie."

„Doubtful."

The vibration of his phone against the table interrupted their conversation. They both glanced at the screen and Stefan tried to turn it off as quickly as he could, but unsuccessfully. Bonnie had read the name of the caller ID.

„Sorry." He said, stuffing his phone in his back pocket.

„How _are_ things with Valarie?" she asked him, leaning closer over the table and resting her head on her left hand.

She switched the subject, so quickly, forgetting all about nice and kind Stefan. These past few days, he got close with his ex-girlfriend, who happened to be one of Lilly's heretics. Caroline had told her a part of the story and then Damon told her the entire story, going so far, he even quoted some of Stefan's writings about the woman in his diary.

What exactly was the deal with this Valarie chick, nobody knew for real? But, Bonnie was aware her blonde best friend was worried and jealous about this new revelation.

„Caroline told you about her." Stefan said, looking a bit sheepish.

„Her and Damon." she answered. She cleared her throat awkwardly. „He sort of filled in the blanks. Not, that I asked him to, but he just painted a _really_ colorful picture for me."

„Great. So, he embarrassed me." He shook his head.

„It's a good thing you don't blush."

They both laughed, easing the tension a bit before Stefan decide to give her an explanation.

„I know, that all that story with Valarie sounds a lot and that it might look like there might be still something in the air. But, there's not. That's in the past. I'm with Caroline, now."

„I know." Bonnie nodded her head. „But, you have a history with Valarie. She was someone very significant to your past. There still might be some unresolved feelings there."

„Okay." Stefan leaned a bit closer, putting his hand on the table. „Let me ask you something." He waited until, she nodded, to continue. „Jeremy."

Bonnie frowned in confusion. What did Jeremy of all people have anything to do with this?

„He was your first _love_ , right?" the way he said _love,_ implied he was talking about something more personal. And Bonnie felt a little uneasy about the course of this conversation.

„That's kind of personal. And, it's really weird to be talking to you about it." Her eyebrows raised.

„I know. But, bear with me for a moment. He was your first... _love_ and he will always be in your heart, right? He will hold that special place in your life, you'll always remember him." he paused for a moment, when she started to squirm in her seat and cleared her throat, so he would get to the point.

„But, does that mean, you're still in love with him?" he asked finally.

„Well...No. No. I'm not." She said with absolute certainty. „I mean, I care about him, I will probably always care about him, but I know there's nothing there anymore. That's in the past."

„Exactly. That's how I feel about Valarie. There is a certain level of affection between us, but I'm not in love with her. I'm in love with Caroline."

„So, you don't see yourself acting on that affection at any time?" Bonnie squinted her eyes a bit suspiciously.

„No. Not while I'm with Caroline. I wouldn't do that to her."

She wasn't entirely comfortable with the choice of his words. _While he was with Caroline._

„And if you weren't with her? Would you act on it, then?"

„I don't know. Life runs its' course, you can't really stop something from happening. Especially, where love is concerned." He sighed, seeing her apprehensiveness, but quickly recovered. „Look, I'm trying to be honest here. I can't say that this thing with Valarie is impossible to pick up, once again, because I can't deny the connection and the history between us. But, I am certain, that it won't happen as long as I'm with Caroline. And I plan to be with Caroline for a long time."

Bonnie opened her mouth like she was going to say something that will contradict his words, but he stopped her, continuing his speech.

„I'm just saying, I won't act on those feelings, no matter the connection. Because I have someone new in my life and I am very curious to see where that will take me. With Caroline, I feel like I'm finally moving forward, after being stuck in the same place for a very long time."

Weirdly enough, that made sense.

Bonnie understood what he was trying to say. He would never act on any kind of feelings, no matter the temptation because it would destroy what he had built with Caroline. He had something new, something that had enough strength to distract any kind of leftover of feelings towards an old flame.

„So, essentially...what you're trying to say is...I can be sure you won't hurt my best friend and I won't have to kick your ass in the future?"

„Essentially, yes."

„Okay. You're off the hook, then."

* * *

Damon was irritated.

He wasn't planning on coming to this stupid peace party his mother prepared. But, Stefan had a crazy stupid idea, that threatened to ruin his plan, by killing Lilly's boyfriend. So, there he was, looking dashing as always in his suit and tie, sipping his own bourbon from Lilly's crystal glass and babysitting his little brother.

What had been going on in Stefan's head was beyond him. His little brother was usually a rational, down to earth, practical guy who had great instincts and who thought twice before acting. The only thing was, this had Valarie written all over. The mysterious woman already tried to kill this guy, turning her back on her heretic family and losing Lilly's trust. Still, that wasn't a good enough reason for Damon to fully trust to the blonde heretic or even jumping on her plan of killing this guy. And yet, for Stefan it was.

Which meant only one thing. Stefan knew something about this Julian guy, that Damon didn't.

And as if the night wasn't going bad enough, Bonnie was there, too, standing in the corner of the room, engaging herself in some sort of conversation with Enzo, off all people. Even though Damon didn't speak to her, yet that night, he had his eyes on her, all the time. Well, except the time he had to have his eyes on his little brother.

And that seemed to be the problem.

While he was dealing with Stefan and his sudden crazy ideas, Bonnie managed to strike up a connection with Enzo. He kept finding her smiling mischievously to the guy, throwing him not so innocent looks and on top of it all, he heard her relate to Enzo as her date for the night. What was up with that?

And what was it with all the touching? Like, right now, as they were standing way too close to each other, she kept touching his chest, her slender fingers grabbing his tie in such a delicate way, even Enzo himself looked intrigued. And the way she was looking at him? She was leaning in closer to him, with bright, clear eyes that were practically screaming _I WANT YOU_.

Damon had to put an end to it. Just as he noticed, Enzo was leaving, he walked over to his best friend, that was having a hard time covering her blushing and smiling over some handsome dude, that wasn't him.

Who was Enzo, anyway? He was nothing more than a pathetic, cheap copy of yours truly. He always wanted to be like Damon, or just be in his proximity, all the while throwing tantrums on Stefan, because he was jealous of his little brother. It was all very unhealthy for the blue-eyed vampire, so he had to say his goodbyes to that one. And then, when he noticed everybody else ignored his ass, he turned over to Damon's mother and started following her around like some sad little puppy. It was very disturbing.

„Hello, Bon Bon." he said to her, his voice dripping with sexiness, as always.

She looked up at him, squirming in her stand and clearing her throat.

„Damon, hey. Having fun?" she asked, her voice raising a bit at the end.

He didn't like seeing her this way. All flushed and bothered by some _other_ guy.

„Yeah, I'm having a blast." He said flatly and tilted his head a bit. „You?"

„I've been on better parties." She snorted.

He took in her appearance tonight. She wore a black and blue lace dress and black ankle-strap stilettos. She didn't wear too much makeup, because as always she didn't need to. She was pretty enough, just the way she was.

He shouldn't be so surprised that Enzo was hanging around her.

It wasn't just her exterior beauty. She radiated with some pleasant energy, some sweet sparkle that would suck in even the dullest person. It was impossible to escape her proximity without being drawn to her. Damon felt it every time she smiled to him, or when he leaned in too close to her, just to tease her or breathe in her scent. It was a strange, but thrilling sensation, one that went through his toes and slowly crept up his body, spreading around all his nerves and muscles. And he wanted to feel it even closer.

„You wanna dance?" he asked her.

„I don't see anybody else dancing." She said slowly, looking around the room.

She looked surprised by his quest, and to be honest he was surprised himself, too. It wasn't the dancing kind of party. It was more the mingling and chatting kind, with slow, soft tunes played in the background, which everybody ignored.

„So? Nobody said we couldn't."

He gently took her by the hand and leaned in closer, before she had a chance to deny him again. He set his right hand on her left hip side and waited for her to place her hand on his upper arm. They moved slowly to the music. They weren't in the middle of the room, so everybody could observe them. They were at the corner, a darker part of the living room, where nobody really had their attention on them. It made the moment all the more personal and intimate.

„Is everything alright with Stefan?" she asked him probably trying to act as casual as possible.

„Yeah. Don't worry about it." He dismissed it. He didn't want to think or talk about anything else in that moment.

„Are you sure? You said, over the phone-"

„Has anybody told you how beautiful you look tonight?" he cut her off.

She looked startled by his sudden change of subject. She opened her mouth and widened her eyes, looking up at him, but stayed silent. Damon was watching her smugly, feeling her nervousness and enjoying the fact he was making her nervous. Her palms were starting to sweat and he could hear the uncoordinated beating of her heart.

„No." Her answer was short, not to risk breaking of her voice.

„Well, you do." He said quietly, smiling down on her.

„Thank you."

He felt her relax a little. She bent her head down, but he could see her biting her lip trying to prevent the smile creeping on her face.

„What are you smiling about?" he asked her, making her look up at him.

„I just...I remembered something."

„What?"

She looked thoughtful, reminiscing one particular memory in her head.

„New York. You asked me to dance in an empty bar." She let the smile spread over her face and they both laughed. „That was nice. I enjoyed that."

Her smile was so tender and happy, it suddenly mad him feel very protective of her. He had her in his arms and he wanted to make that place complete and safe for her. So she could feel like she was just where she should be. Like he felt when he was with her. Like he was home.

„So did I." His head tilted and he leaned closer to her face. „I enjoy every single moment spent with you."

The smile evaporated from her face. He didn't know how to read her expression, like she was shocked by his confession. His words seemed to have some kind of weight on her. Suddenly, her hand felt too heavy in his, her body became too rigid and she seemed to forgot how to breathe.

She started to squirm in her stand, trying to get away from him, so he let go of her, reluctantly, not wanting to feel the loss of her closeness. He observed as she bent her head down, taking a great step back from him.

It hurt, the way she reacted this time. It was like some sort of light bulb came on in her head and now she was on alert because of him. It was like his touch would bring fire over her skin, like he was something dangerous for her to play with.

„I should go check on Stefan." He said, hesitantly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

„You need any help?" she asked.

„No." He shook his head. „You should go home. Don't worry about me."

She nodded her head, staying silent.

He turned away from her, but not for long. He stopped, only looking at her over his shoulder.

„When you do get home, let me know."

„I will." She smiled with a tight smile, that didn't seem very honest.

* * *

Bonnie never believed in the old sayings of the people. There where so many quotes, that she would rather not think about or believe in. But, one got stuck in her head, tonight, as she walked over the campus, towards her building.

People used to say _Where there's smoke, there's fire_.

And there was a lot of smoke around her and Damon, these past few weeks. Especially, tonight. It wasn't until stupid Lilly's party and the dance they shared, that Bonnie noticed everything that was going on. It didn't take a genius to know Damon only approached her tonight, because he saw her flirting with Enzo. And normally, it wouldn't be such a big problem for Bonnie, because, she knew she could do better than Enzo. But, that again wasn't the point.

The point was, she was starting to see what everybody around her were trying to say.

„ _I'm just asking you to be more careful with him, because he seems to take up a lot of your time, I don't want it to backfire on you."_

Weather she liked it or not, Caroline was right. This friendship with Damon was becoming too much for her and it was getting out of hand. They were spending an awful lot of time together, and even though she enjoyed it, she knew it could bring problems she didn't know how to handle.

There was already a line they crossed in Italy and she was afraid if it ever went further than that, it could destroy their friendship and she just wasn't ready for that.

She hated how good she felt with him, how natural it was to just be next to him. But, his touch burned her, there was too much fire between them and she couldn't risk it.

„ _I enjoy every single moment spent with you."_

The way he looked at her sometimes, felt like he could see all her secrets and her sides she never showed to anyone. She felt naked, like her soul was just plain open to him, on display. And when he talked sometimes, she felt like she missed something, but knew anyway, what he was trying to say.

It was always like that with him, like she was standing in a dark room, unknown and cold, and then something happened, some simple word he would say, the way his eyes looked at her or just a light brush of his fingers against her skin...and all of the sudden, it was like a light turned on and it shed away all the darkness around her.

„ _It could be a case of puppy love."_

What scared her the most was, what if it was one-sided? What if it was all just in her head? The looks, the touches, the words...Maybe he was just desperate and in need of an affection, and she was the first available thing around. Maybe he was trying to heal his loneliness and missing of his girlfriend with attaching himself to her, depending on her.

„ _Life runs its' course, you can't really stop something from happening."_

The hell, she couldn't.

When problem solving, identify the cause of the said problem in order to solve it.

She was giving too much of her time to Damon, letting him come to close and staying there for too long. So what was the solution?

She sighed hard, thinking about it, when the answer came to her in a form of a flyer she was just handed over from a student passing by her on a skateboard. Bonnie read the flyer with a raise of her eyebrows and a shrug of her shoulders.

 _POST HALLOWEEN COSTUME PARTY  
_

Why the hell not? What was the worse that could happen?

* * *

 ** _AN: Am I boring you with the notes at the end of every chapter? Sorry... ;)  
_**

 ** _Anyway, I want to thank you for sticking up with this story and for all your kind words, the reviews really keep me going._**

 ** _Did you liked the flashforward? I hope it wasn't too confusing! Any guesses who dies in the future? Did you like the rest? I can't wait to hear from you, guys!_**

 ** _This chapter was more like a filler one, but it sets the mood for what will come next..._**

 ** _Soundtracks: Fleurie - Hurts Like Hell (Caroline's flash forward); Julia Michaels - Issues (Caroline's view on Bamon, Stefonnie talk and Bamon spending time together); Tom Odell - Somehow (Lilly's party, Bamon dance and talk).  
_**


	7. Chapter 7 - An art to life's distraction

_**This chapter is bit different than usual. It tells a story of what happened in a period of 5 weeks, except for the first part, which is a flashforward.**_

 _ **Also, a lot of unexpected things go down. Beware! :D**_

* * *

 **Chapter 7 - A** **n art to life's distraction**

 _5 years later, Dallas, Texas_

„ _Look, we're doing everything we can. But, according to the law, a person isn't claimed to be missing before the 48 hours limit goes out."_

 _Ric frustratedly rubbed a hand over his face. He was talking on the phone, to his friend in the Dallas Police Department about his latest problems. He was nervous and he had a bad feeling about this. He just knew something was wrong and he didn't feel like being dragged into another Mystic Falls crisis, and even less, he didn't want to drag his kids in it._

„ _Eddie, something's wrong. I can feel it. This isn't like Caroline."_

„ _I know. I'll look into it, okay? I promise. We'll find her, don't worry about it. I'm sure she just had a couple of bad days and needed some time off. It isn't the first time she left you because she needed a breather-"_

 _Abruptly the man stopped talking. He sighed hard, knowing he said the wrong thing. Ric was silent._

„ _Sorry. My bad. I didn't-"_

„ _The morgue incident." Ric cut him off, wanting desperately to change the subject._

„ _What?"_

„ _This has something to do with what happened last week at the morgue."_

„ _You mean the fire?" Eddie asked in confusion. „No, no. Those were old installations. We're quite sure of it, everything fits. Ric, man, that was an accident. No doubt about it."_

 _Ric rolled his eyes and exhaled heavily on the phone. He didn't want to push it too much, because he was acutely aware, there was no point in discussing this with Eddie. He was a nice guy, but oblivious and dumb to the real worries of life. The kind of worries Ric used to face daily back in Virginia._

„ _Just, calm down, alright? Don't worry about it, I'm sure she'll show up quickly." Eddie tried to calm him down._

„ _Yeah, sure." He said, before hanging up._

 _He put his phone down on the kitchen counter and frowned. The situation was getting out of control. He was fully aware of that. Ever since that dreadful Friday, he could feel something was about to go down. He warned Caroline to stay away from it, not to get involved, but of course, that was impossible. He understood why she couldn't stay away, too, it was about her best friend, but still, he wanted her to just once think about their kids and put them first._

 _Not to say, she didn't usually do that, because she did. She was a great mom, and he was very grateful for everything she did, but sometimes, she just couldn't escape from what she really was and the trouble that seemed to follow her anywhere she went._

 _He went upstairs to check on his sleeping daughters, kissing them on their foreheads and swearing to them silently, he will never let anyone or anything harm them. When he returned to the kitchen, he picked up his phone and looked over the list of names. He knew there was only one person right now, who could help him. He was completely skeptic and against calling anyone from their past, but he didn't have a choice. So, choosing the name, he pressed the green phone call icon._

 _It rang about four times before the person picked up._

„ _Alaric Saltzman. Now that's a name I haven't thought that would pop out on my screen any time soon. Or ever."_

„ _Yeah, well, it's not a pleasure for me either." He sighed, before continuing. He wasn't much of a small talk guy, especially in the time of need, plus he had a feeling, this person wouldn't be into that kind of conversation with him. „I got a problem. And I need your help. Look, I don't think I need to tell you the name, because she's the only possible common ground you and I have."_

„ _What's wrong?" the tone of the voice was flat, but he knew there was hidden worry behind it._

„ _She's been missing. For almost two days. I contacted the police, but they haven't been of much help. There's something weird going on here."_

„ _What do you want me to do about it?"_

„ _I need to find her. I need to make sure she's alright."_

 _The person on the other line sighed heavily. Ric knew what his request meant, being dragged back into the kind of situation neither of them wanted. They all left that life behind, and for a reason. Getting back in the middle of it once again, sounded like a bad joke. But, Ric's sense of humor wasn't working right now._

„ _Okay. You still at the same address?"_

 _He confirmed he was._

„ _Give me 6 hours. 7 tops. I'll be there."_

 _The call was disconnected._

* * *

 _1st week  
_

Caroline flipped over her roommate's bed covers once again and looked over it. She sighed worriedly and walked back to the new set of bookshelf she bought just last week. She usually stress-shopped. When she was upset, she would go overboard and buy things. Things she didn't really need, but that didn't matter.

She didn't saw her boyfriend for the last two days. She called him the day before, but he didn't answer or texted or anything. So, naturally, she was getting worried. Especially, because she was aware he was dealing with his ex girlfriend that was apparently staying at his house. But, she trusted Stefan. She knew he was good and he would never do anything to hurt her.

But, it still messed up with her brain. Like this morning, for instance. She was usually very well organized and calm, but for the life of her she couldn't find her notes for Biochem.

Plus, she was a little worried for her roommate. Last night Bonnie went to a POST Halloween costume party. She asked the blonde to come with, but she refused because she needed to study. And what the hell was a POST Halloween costume party, anyway? What was the point? Real Halloween party was a few weeks ago and now somebody wanted to do it all over again? Stupid college kids. She didn't understand why the witch agreed to go. And the fact she was not back yet, worried the vampire a little. It wasn't like her best friend to stay out all night, so it usually meant something went wrong.

Opening the last drawer on the dresser, she finally found her notes among her skirts. If she didn't decided on jeans this morning, she would've found them already and wouldn't be late for class, right now. So, she grabbed her purse and put it over her shoulder, and just as she turned around to head out, the door of the room opened and somebody entered in a hurry.

Her roommate didn't seem to notice she was in the room, because she had her back leaned against the door and her eyes closed, like she just managed to escape somebody.

Caroline took a good look over Bonnie. She was still dressed in her last night's costume, which consisted of a green dress, that looked kind of wrinkled and messy. She held her shoes, wings and a magic wand in her hands. She looked tired, like she was up all night and she had the famous _bed hair_. If anybody knew what that all meant, it was Caroline Forbes. The witch just completed her walk of shame and was relieved to be finally in the safety of her own room, away from prying eyes of her classmates.

„Oh. My. God."

She slowly pronounced the words, standing with books in her hands and her jaw hanging wide open, with her lips that were starting to stretch to an amused smile on her face.

„Oh, crap." Bonnie mumbled, opening and closing her eyes in frustration.

„Looky, looky." Caroline mocked. „What do we have here?"

The witch rolled her eyes, letting the stuff from her hands fall to the floor and dragging her tired feet over to her bed, dropping herself dramatically on it. She snatched the pillow over her head and grunted frustrated in it.

„Someone's been a busy Tinkerbell last night." Caroline teased her.

She threw all her stuff on her own bed and walked over to jump on the mattress next to her best friend, snatching the pillow off her face and tossing it to the floor.

„You got some serious explaining to do."

„About?" the witch tried to play dumb, but it wouldn't work on this gal.

„Bonnie Bennett." The blonde started seriously. „You just came in, after spending a whole night out and in your yesterday's post-Halloween costume. You do not get away from explaining this to me."

Bonnie propped herself on her elbows and looked seriously at the vampire.

„Did it occurred to you that maybe the reason for that could be, because I was in a life and death situation and I just managed to escape a near-death experience?"

„Were you?"

Bonnie looked at the blonde, giving her her best confirmation, nodding her head lightly, to which she got only a raise of the perfectly shaped eyebrows and a look of disbelief on Caroline's face.

„Yeah, I got nothing." The witch mumbled, dropping her head back to the bed and exhaling hard.

„I knew it." The blonde said excitedly and dropped herself right next to her friend, mirroring her position on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. „Talk." She said proudly.

„Don't you have class?" Bonnie asked her irritated.

„I do."

„Won't you be late?"

„I already am. Now talk."

„Oh, I hate you."

The blonde giggled. This day was suddenly turning out to be better.

* * *

 _Still 1st week  
_

„No way! That is crazy!"

„I have to do this!"

„You're gonna get yourself killed!"

„You don't understand!"

„Well, then, enlighten us, will you, little brother?" Damon yelled, interrupting the screaming match between Stefan and Caroline.

„Even if I did, you would never get it!" Stefan said.

„See!?" Damon directed at Caroline. „I've been dealing with him like this for the last 3 days!"

Caroline shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe what was happening. The Salvatore brothers disturbed her peaceful Sunday morning, entering her dorm room, screaming at each other like two mad men. At first, she thought it was probably some Damon induced problem, but it completely shocked her, that Stefan was the blame actually. He tried not once, not twice, but already three times, to kill Lilly's boyfriend Julian. And apparently, for not yet known reasons.

„Stefan, just tell us what is it that you got against this guy? Because this is so unlike you. You usually think through before you do something." She told her boyfriend, but he stayed silent and just shook his head at both his girlfriend and his brother.

„There you have it! Mr. I Know It All has become the stupidest guy alive. Or...you know...dead. It's the damnest thing, how you seem to change your mind every time another girl enters your periphery!"

„Shut up, Damon!"

„Girl?" Caroline asked confused. „What are you talking about? What girl?"

„Nothing!" Stefan tried to calm her down. „He's just trying to pick another fight! That's all."

„I don't understand..." Caroline said, rubbing her temple. She watched her boyfriend, that was standing a few feet away from her, with his hands on his hips, looking anywhere but her, with an all too familiar face expression to her. He was in pain. Mental or physical, she didn't know. But, there was definitely something he was hiding and he didn't want her to know it. And that hurt.

„Where the hell is Bonnie? Why isn't she here?" the blue-eyed Salvatore from across the room asked her. She noticed him looking around the room, at her tidy made up bed and dresser missing her favorite piece of jewelry.

„Uh...she went out." The blonde spoke, with a little uncertainty in her voice. „To the...library."

„At 9 o'clock in the morning?" he asked frowning. „On a Sunday?"

Caroline's eyes budged out a little, and her mouth tries to form words, but they just wont come out.

„Uh...yeah... You know...She has a paper to do due Monday, so..." she shook her head and decided to ignore the vampire's disbelieving stare. „Can we focus on Stefan for now?" she directed her eyes back on the said boyfriend. „Just, what were you trying to prove by killing this guy? I mean, does it have to do with your mother? Because, that seems..." she didn't get to finish the sentence, because Damon did it for her.

„It's Valerie. Not our mother." He said bitterly, causing Stefan to shot him a deadly stare for uncovering his secret.

„Valerie?" she asked confused. „Your old girlfriend Valerie?"

„Yup, V-card Valerie." Damon quipped.

„What does she have to do with this? With Julian? I don't understand."

When neither of them gave up an answer, she was aware there was something deeper going on here.

„Stefan!" she yelled, staring at her boyfriend with angry but pleading eyes.

Nothing.

She shook her head in disbelief. Hurt, by his behavior, hurt by his silence and his secrets, that he held onto so tightly, it actually scared her to death.

The front door bursted open and Bonnie entered, with a question mark above her head. She looked strangely at the three people inside the room, knowing this could not mean anything good. Caroline welcomed her confusion, mentally taking a break from her own.

„Hey! Thank God! I've been calling you!" she told her excitedly.

„Uh, sorry, my battery died." The witch commented, before looking at the two remaining vampires in the room. „What's going on?"

„Well..." the blonde started uncertainly. „We're not exactly sure."

Bonnie noticed the tone of her friend was uncomfortable, and it automatically made her worried.

„What happened?"

She watched Caroline swallow a lump in her throat.

„Stefan...had a problem with Julian."

„Your mother's boyfriend?" she directed her question to the grey-eyed vampire, but he just ignored her.

„He tried to kill him!" Damon said.

„Julian tried to kill you?" Bonnie asked Stefan.

„No," Caroline interrupted, „Stefan tried to kill Julian."

The words threw the witch a little.

„Why?"

„That's a good question." Damon commented.

„Can you stop with the questions already? Everybody? Just stop!" Stefan started to yell. „I can't take this anymore."

Suddenly, he was out of the room. Bonnie made her way over to her blonde friend, trying to console her and asking her if there was something she could do. They didn't even noticed the remaining other vampire in the room, who was closely observing them both.

„If you need anything, you know you can-"

„Where were you?"

The girl's conversation was cut off by the dark haired vampire, that was looking suspiciously at the witch.

„What?" she asked confused, looking at him.

„Where were you?" he repeated the question.

Before she even thought of an answer, the blonde beside her answered him, instead.

„She was at the library like I told you."

„Yeah, that's right. Library." the witch nodded her head, quickly glancing at her friend and silently thanking her.

„Why is your shirt upside down?"

The question kind of startled her. She looked down at her clothes, noticing, that really she wore her shirt wrong. The blonde beside her gave her a concerning look, and she knew she had to act quickly.

„I ...uhm...Because I was at the gym." She could see Caroline nodding her head at her, giving her a sign, that it was a believable answer. „Yeah, after the library, I went to the gym."

„On a Sunday morning?" Damon asked frowning.

„I was a little wound up. Too much energy and frustration." She said quickly. „And I should probably go hit the shower. To get all the sweat off. You know, from the gym." She said, backing away to the bathroom and closing the door behind her, leaving a suspicious looking vampire alone in the room with her roommate.

„Gym?" he asked, looking at the blonde, who just shrugged her shoulders.

He made one last glance at the bathroom door, behind which Bonnie had just disappear and left the room without another word, probably trying to catch up with his brother. The blonde released a breath of relief after he was gone.

* * *

 _2nd week  
_

„...we have not found a single authoritative and exact statement, nor any proof that the writers knew what constitutes the Soul. Maybe-"

Alaric cut himself off when he noticed the door of the class opening and the girl entering quickly, but quietly. As his eyes drifted to her, some students followed his gaze as well, on the petite girl that was taking her place at the first available seat in the back, sending him an apologetic look.

He shook it off, continuing his lecture, with his eyes casting a look at the wide classroom.

„Perhaps there are thousands and thousands of wise people who have solved this enigma to their entire satisfaction. It's not on us to question their cases. If they believe they were the truth, we can only congratulate them on it."

Just before he turned his back on the class, he looked over at the girl again, that was sorting out her books, looking for a pen in her bag, but, all in all, she wasn't paying much attention to his lecture. Which was a bit odd, seeing as she usually sat in the front, making notes and listening carefully to his every word.

But, he needed to go back on the lecture.

„So, does the Soul have any form at all?..."

.

He watched the students leave the classroom in a hurry, greeting them with a friendly smile and a polite nod. As it cleared out, Ric watched the girl with messy curls walk over to him, holding a stack of papers in her hands.

„Here are the notes I could find in Michaud's book. I hope it helps." Bonnie told him and handed him the notes.

He asked her to get them for last week's class, when he held the lecture on Michaud's book, to which she was present. She was way late with it. But, he decided to hold his tongue this time, as he took the papers from her and nodded his head.

„I'll look it over. Thanks."

He dropped them on his desk and suspiciously raised his eyes on the girl in the question. Her hair was messier than usual, there were bags under her eyes saying she didn't have much sleep last night. He noticed a greasy stain on her grey t-shirt that looked a little too big for her.

Weirdly enough, that was not the most confusing thing about it.

There was a big sign over her chest saying 'THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!'.

It was not Friday. It was Tuesday.

She send him a sheepish smile and stuffed her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

„Sorry I was late. I overslept."

„You know, this is the third time in the last 10 days." He told her, watching her face look down at the floor. „You should really be careful with this. The others are going to think that the only reason you are my TA is of special favors."

„That's exactly the reason I am your TA, Ric." She said with a knowing smile.

„Yeah, but others don't need to know that."

„Fine. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." She widened her eyes and huffed frustrated, before picking up her cellphone and looking at it. „Anyway, I got to go. See you later."

She waved her goodbye and left his classroom, while he looked strangely at her back. There was something weird going on with her, but he just couldn't put his finger on what it was. And his gut told him...it had something to do with that T-shirt of hers.

* * *

 _3rd week  
_

Damon Salvatore was no fool.

He was a 176-year-old vampire and if he learned anything in his existence, it was how to read people. He knew them all. Those who accomplished things and those who claimed to accomplish things, as Mark Twain would say. They lie, deceive, and cheat, do all kinds of things to cover up their true selves. People could try to lie and hide their secrets, but they couldn't get away with them. He was always one step ahead of them.

You could never fool Damon Salvatore.

Something weird was going on with Bonnie. He could feel it. And it wasn't just because she kept rejecting his offers and questions to hang out.

 _Sorry, Butch not today._

 _I got some business to handle._

 _I have classes._

 _Studying. Finales are coming up._

 _Tomorrow's no good. Maybe next week?_

 _Sorry, I forgot. I got other plans._

It was always something with her. It seemed that lately, she had no time for him anymore. And when he actually got fed up with all the asking and getting no answers, he went over to her dorm or house and it was almost always empty. And then he would call her up, to see where she was and she would get all fired up about him invading her privacy and how she wasn't the only witch in town anymore. There were heretics roaming around, that didn't know what to do with themselves anyway.

So, on a Saturday he decided to be a gentleman. He found out from Stefan who heard it from Caroline, that Bonnie was coming back in Mystic Falls for the weekend, and instead of just dropping by unannounced, he decided to call first.

On the third ring, she answered.

„Would you be interested in a fun-filled day with a man of class?" he could hear her laughing over the phone and somehow that made his day better already.

„ _If that's one of your lame attempts of asking me to go out drinking with you, the answer is no."_

He frowned. She just got up right and denied him. And in a very rude manner, too.

So, he contemplated his chances here. There were two ways to answer her right now. One was to whine and play the needy boy, and the other one was to continue to be the gentleman, thank her for her time and say goodbye. Option number two was the one where his pride would be preserved, so... the choice was obvious.

„Whyyyyy noooot?"

 _Whine it is._

She snorted adorably to his question and after just an appropriate more of his whining, she finally asked him if he was interested to take a ride with her. She stopped him from his crude joke about riding and told him she had an errand to run, just outside of Mystic Falls, and she wouldn't say no to the company.

He managed to get her to agree they take his car. He was actually that bored without her around, these past few days, he bought himself a new car. A black 1965 Shelby Cobra and he had yet to show it off. He felt proud over the fact he'll get to drive her in it and he already imagined her to be swooned and impressed by the new machine.

But, as he parked outside of her house, she said nothing. She just jumped right in and put the Navigation system on, to lead them to the finish line. It was Craigsville, Virginia. He asked her what kind of errand she had to get done all the way over there, but she never gave him the reason. Just a couple of things she needed to pick up, that was the answer. It was a little less than an hour-long ride, so she picked out the radio station and they were on their way.

He admired the way she looked today. There was something so vibrant about her. Her eyes were wide open, with an eyeliner perfectly done, and her lips were in a nude color gloss. Her skin was flawless as always, and her hair was pin straight. She had a white Hell bunny Eden dress on, black leather jacket, some black ballerina flats and a black satchel bag. She was sweet, sexy, beautiful all wrapped up in one.

He could feel the energy that was oozing out of her. She smelled sweeter than usually, her natural fragrance was a little bit more spicy and intense, but he didn't complain. He enjoyed it.

He watched her talk to an old lady at the Craigsville's farmers market. The woman was in her 70s, and she had grey hair and tiny glasses on her face. She had a pleasant smile and he heard her compliment Bonnie on her beauty. The young witch smiled widely while smelling a peach in her hand. She observed the strawberries and oranges in front of her and she was saying something he decided not to listen.

Then, there was a boy in his early twenties that approached Bonnie, carrying crates full of goodies she just bought. She smiled at him, thanked the old lady polity, and pointed the boy over to Damon's direction. Damon was standing leaned on his car, with his arms crossed over his chest.

Bonnie took two bags from the boy to help him with the carrying and he followed her to the car. She told him to drop the crates in the trunk that was already opened. He put them in and Bonnie placed the bags with it, too. She thanked the boy for his help, who smiled and thank her instead. He said something about a pleasure of servicing a customer like her.

Damon rolled his eyes at the boy's comment, trying to ignore the conversation all together, but it was a bit hard to do that. He observed as the boy leaned on the car, showing off his biceps, playing some kind of cool guy or something and telling her he was available for anything she needed. He said it in a very suggestive way, that Damon was slowly reaching his limit.

„Well, I'm sorry you guys don't have a delivery service over to Mystic Falls. I really like your products." She told him with a smile that didn't seem to fade away.

The boy nodded his head and pursed his lips. „Well, you know... we could exchange contacts and maybe arrange something. I could come to you, you know... for a proper price?"

Damon snorted on the boy's comment and that didn't go unnoticed by Bonnie. He slowly walked over to the boy and stood in front of him, with Bonnie behind his back.

„You might wanna back off with that offer of yours, fruit boy." He told him mockingly.

The boy frowned and looked in confusion. „Is there a problem here?" he asked.

„No, but you don't get your ass away from here in less than 15 seconds, I will offer you a problem."

Bonnie stepped beside Damon, looking over at the boy and smiled apologetically.

„Nathan, thank you for your help, but we should be on our way."

 _Nathan_ nodded in confusion and left, without another word. Bonnie threw Damon a nasty look, but he just shrugged in that old fashion Damon way. She closed the trunk and went to the passenger seat, so he followed her lead, getting behind the wheel and driving away.

Bonnie had in her hands a couple of strawberries that she ate. She looked out of the window and chewed on the sweet fruit, making sounds of pleasure. Damon was watching her closely, but she seemed to be ignoring him. When he asked her if something was wrong, she just shrugged her shoulders and started humming along with the music. They were silent for the next few minutes after they hit the free road. He tried to spike a conversation with her, but she seemed disinterested. He was getting irritated and when she turned the radio volume on, he lost it.

He maneuvered the car at the side of the road. He put it in park, and Bonnie curiously looked at the surroundings. There were trees around them, and it seemed like a forest that didn't end.

Damon turned his body to her and gave her his full attention. She ignored him again, throwing him a quick look, and diverting her eyes to the window.

„What's up with you?" he asked her.

„Me? Nothing." She looked at him in surprise. „You're the one who stopped the car."

He rolled his eyes and sighed. „If this is about the fruit boy-"

„Nathan." she corrected him.

„ _Nathan_." he practically spat the name out. „He was crossing the line. He was all... _rude_ with you and I just did you a favor-"

„You're rude all the time." She replied to him. „Plus, I can take care of myself. I don't need you coming to save me, all cavemen style."

He was silent for some time.

There was something different about her, he just couldn't quite catch what it was. Like she wasn't the old Bonnie, that he knew how to read through, guess her feeling and thoughts and corner her about them. He didn't see her for the last couple of weeks and it was like in that time, something so drastically changed between them, that he felt kind of intimidated about it. She was acting strange, it almost seemed like she was using the fact he had to keep an eye on Stefan, so that she can distance herself from him. And he didn't like that one bit.

His frown changed into determination on his face, so he opened his car door and got out. Bonnie widened her eyes on his moves, and in a blink of an eye, he was pulling her out of the car, too. He closed the door and pinned her to the car with both of his hands on her sides.

„Could you be a sweetheart and tell me why were we driving to an hour away town, so you would just pick up some damn fruit?! There are fruits in Mystic Falls, you know?" he asked, getting into her face.

She crossed her arms over her chest, acting as if she was bored with his actions and questions.

„If you didn't want to go, you didn't have to." She told him mockingly. „I could have done it myself."

He snorted. „And maybe _Nathan_ could be more helpful?"

„Maybe." She shrugged and raised her eyebrows.

It made his blood boil. It was like she was actually toying with his mind, insinuating she wasn't so far from thinking about it. She was too calm and too free around him, and it just bugged him in a very wrong way.

„Why do you care anyway?" she asked him frustrated, with a hint of anger in her voice. „It's not like I'm yours. You don't get to tell me what I can do."

And it shifted. The anger, the jealousy he felt suddenly lifted off and all he could fell was a string around his chest. She spoke the truth and it pained him. She wasn't _his_ and he wasn't _hers_. The nature of their relationship was different entirely. They were only friends. But there was more than that under the surface. And he knew, she felt that, too.

He straightened himself up, retracted his hands to his body and stared at her.

„You're wrong." He simply told her, the anger evaporating from him.

„I'm not your girl." She told him stubbornly.

„You're my best friend." He argued. „And as your best friend, I get to say it to you, if something bothers me. It also means you get to tell me what bothers you. So, tell me."

„Nothing. I'm fine." she shook her head.

„Bonnie..."

„Damon, I'm okay!" she said, before she looked him in the eyes. „Really."

She set her eyes to look at him and he found himself getting lost in her forest green orbs. He stepped closer to her, subconsciously and she didn't move. He reached for her hand and placed it on his cheek, to which he closed his eyes for a moment. He felt so calm and satisfied, when he was in her proximity. She could calm a storm brewing inside of him, with nothing more than a smile. She had no idea how much power she actually held over him.

But, then, she pulled back her hand abruptly and he opened his eyes to look at her. Her eyes were glossy and distant, which made him realize what was going on. They were stepping into the territory that was too slippery for them, and it scared her away. Whenever they would come close, there was always something that pulled back. Only, this time, he felt, there was a bigger distance between them. Something was standing in the way of them, and it wasn't the guilt, this time.

He stepped back from her, as she exhaled and he started to make his way back to the driver seat. They both sat down and drove away in silence.

* * *

 _4th week  
_

„Give us another one, sweetheart." Damon smiled to the blonde bartender, pushing the two small glasses towards her, while his drinking buddy sitting next to him, was still grimacing from the sour taste in his mouth.

„I think I've had enough, Damon." he said coughing.

„Oh, com' on, Ric. We're just getting started."

„Look, it's not that I don't appreciate your attempt of drinking me under the table, but... I've gotta be up early tomorrow. I've got class, and it's a lot harder to deal with students when I'm hangovered."

„Just one more. Com on, man!" the blue eyed vampire said, as the bartender set the drinks in front of them.

„Damon..." the teacher whined.

„Chill out, Ric. Don't you have your TA-s?"

„I do, as a matter of fact. One of them is actually your other drinking buddy, who, BTW, has a free morning, tomorrow. You should've called her up, instead of me."

„Yeah, yeah." Damon said, turning his head straight ahead and taking a little sip of his drink. Like he didn't thought of that. Bonnie was the first person he wanted to call up, but she hasn't been very vocal around him, since the last time he saw her. Which was when they went to Cragsville and he guessed she was still salty about it.

He squinted his eyes, turning his head over to Ric.

„Did you happened to notice something weird about her lately?"

„Weird?" Alaric frowned confused. „What do you mean weird?"

„Something that might've seen odd? For her, you know?"

„If we're talking about the witch part, not really." the man shrugged. „She's just been reading a lot about druids and native witch covens, but all in all, it's pretty normal."

„Hmmm...and if we're talking about the human part?"

„Human part?"

„You know, the regular stuff. Like, if she were just another one of your students and a normal girl, would you notice something weird on her?" the vampire asked, trying to keep his voice casual and cool.

„Not really." Ric answered. He took a sip of his drink and then raised his hand, as if he just figured something up. „Although, I would probably fire her as my TA. She's terrible. Late all the time. Not paying any attention to the class. Always sitting in the back. With her phone in hands, 90% of the time."

„Well, that's weird." Damon said, a little stunned.

„Not for a college student." Ric dismissed it.

„Yeah, but she's Bonnie. That the whole point."

„Exactly." the human guy said, shaking his head. „It's because she's Bonnie Bennett. Look, after all that she's been through, I don't think it would be weird if she were trying to rebel a little."

„So, you think she's rebelling?" Damon asked frowning.

„I think she's a college student. They rebel, they test out their limits, have fun, get drunk, experiment. It's what normal college students do. Whether you like it or not, she deserves a little normal at times."

Yeah, she did deserve normal. Damon would agree with that. But, why did she had to do that without him?

* * *

 _Still 4th week  
_

 _Ping!_

Stefan welcomed the enthusiasm of his girlfriend this morning. He was laying on his back in her bed, while she was on top of him, kissing and groping like a couple of teenagers. This morning, he texted her, how he wanted to see her, and she was more than happy to cut all her classes, so she could spend the time with him.

There was still tension between them, because of Valarie, but they managed to overlook the situation and continue their relationship, back on track. He didn't say it to anyone yet, the real reason behind his attacks towards Julian and even though it did bring only problems, he wasn't going to let Valarie down. But, he stopped with the attacks for now and that seemed to calm everyone around.

 _Ping!_

 _Ping!_

He focused back on the task in hand and as he kissed his girlfriend with passion, as he took of her shirt, which he already had unbuttoned. He felt, Caroline's hands raising his shirt and ruining her long fingernails across his skin. He loved that feeling.

 _Ping!_

 _Ping!_

 _Ping!_

Just as his hands met at her back, trying to find the hook of her bra, so he could take it off, the blonde stopped him by reaching for his hands. She broke the kiss and looked down at him smiling. He smiled, too, kissing her lips delicately, but she ended it once again. She sat up on him and repaired her bra.

„Okay, that's enough." She said, as she pecked his lips quickly, standing up and looking around for her shirt.

„Wait, no. I don't think we're done here, yet." He said, raising himself on his elbows and looking at the blonde, pointing to his obvious bulge in his pants and winking playfully.

„We are." She said, laughing.

„No, I don't think we really are." He was stubborn and surprised where this was coming from.

„Trust me, we are." She told him, picking up her shirt from the floor and putting it back on.

„Am I missing something here? Are you still mad at me?" he asked, sitting up in bed and frowning.

„No. I'm not." She laughed again. „Bonnie's on her way. She's done with her classes."

„I thought you said she was busy till 2 o'clock."

„She was suppose to be, but her class probably ended earlier." The blonde said, as she walked over to her dresser, taking a hair bow and tying her blonde curls up in a high messy ponytail.

„How do you exactly know that?"

„She signaled me."

„I'm sorry, what?" he asked confused.

„She signaled. She texted me."

„But, you didn't even look at your phone. How can you be sure?" he told her, not believing the thing she was saying.

Just then, the front door opened and her roommate entered.

„Hey."

„Hi."

The two girls greeted each other, before the witch looked at him.

„Stefan."

„Bonnie?" he asked as if he were seeing a ghost.

The witch just smiled and went to the bathroom. He looked confusingly back at his girlfriend that was smiling widely. She must've noticed his stupid face, because her smile deteriorated a little.

„What?"

„How did you know she was coming back?"

„She texted me." The blonde shrugged.

„But-"

„You heard the pings, right?" she cut him off.

 _Pings?_

 _Wait..._

Now that he thought about it, yeah, he heard them, but he didn't paid any attention on them. He ignored them, because his girlfriend ignored them, too. Which was weird, how she knew they were from Bonnie.

„Yeah..."

„Well, that's how." She said, grinning brightly. „ You see, we organized a system. When ever one is heading back to the dorm room, we text each other. There's the first ping, just once, for when we head out back. The second ping twice, when we're just outside of the building. And the third, three pings, for when we're reached the second floor. There's really no need for the fourth, because if you don't hear the first three, you're not gonna hear the last one, either."

„Smart." He said, frowning.

„Yeah, it's just so we would avoid the awkward situations when we have boyfriends in the room." She said, turning her back on him and looking for something in the dresser, while Stefan nodded his head. But, then he noticed something.

„Wait..." he said, getting up from the bed. „Did you just say _boyfriends_? As in plural?"

„Yeah...about that..." the blonde turned around and looked at him sheepishly.

„Do you have other boyfriends coming around to you? Because if you do, I think I'm gonna need signal, too."

He teased her and she laughed as she walked over to him and hooking her hands around his neck and kissing him.

„No. Don't worry about that. You're the only one I really like."

„Good."

She kissed him again, as they both heard the shower turning on in the bathroom.

„Than, what did you mean when you said _boyfriends_?" he asked frowning.

„Okay." The blonde sighed, before she looked at him seriously. „But, you can not tell this to anyone."

„Okay." He agreed.

„And when I say anyone, I really mean your brother."

* * *

 _5th week  
_

When she exited her dorm room, she was surprised to see him standing in the hallway, waiting for her, with nothing but a smile on his face and two coffee's to go in his hands. It was a silent apology, a clean slate kind of thing, to brush off all this weird dynamic between them lately.

Bonnie walked over and standing in front of him, she sighed, smiled and accepted another hopeless shot of her favorite coffee. They did this before they distanced themselves from each other. He would bring her coffee, every day a different flavor, until he would guess her favorite. She frowned at the taste of the Iced Pumpkin Spice Chai Latte. She could see it on his face, that he knew it was a failed shot, but he shrugged it off when she started to walk away, waiting for him to fall into step with her. As always, he did.

„You know, I was thinking, we should go on a road trip." Damon said, sipping his own coffee and frowning on its' taste, too. He looked over his cup with a disgusted face, probably asking himself who the hell thought of putting pumpkin in a coffee? Her thoughts exactly.

„Road trip? Really? Have you lost your mind?" she asked him casually.

„No. Why?" he shrugged carelessly again.

„Aside from the fact that I have classes, you have a brother hungry for revenge on a centuries old vampire. Have you forgotten about that?"

„Well, Bon Bon." He sighed dramatically, picking up the coffee from her hand and throwing them both away in the near garbage can. There was really no point in trying to drink the awful beverage. „That is exactly why I am suggesting a road trip. This town is too boring for me, and babysitting Stefan makes me spend way too much time with him, that I'm starting to get afraid a part of his brooding will pass on me, too. Now, do you really want to risk it and see me brooding like my brother, Bon?"

„Don't be an ass, Damon." she said, rolling her eyes at him.

„Well then, save me from me, Bon." He stopped her with a hand on her elbow, turning her to the side, so she could face him. „And take a ride with me."

He winked at her, throwing one of his charm smiles in, too, but unsuccessfully.

She didn't even batted an eye.

„I can't. Not today." She said defiantly, starting to walk away from him, again.

„Whyyyyy?" he whined, while falling in step with her, once again. „What else could you possibly have planned out? I assure you nothing can come even close to the satisfaction of my company."

He pointed a finger at his chest and she turned to face him, rolling her eyes at his self-praising.

„You're-"

„ _Bonnie! Bonnie!"_

She was about to fall in her Damon-get-your-head-out-of-the-clouds-and-your-ass-down-to-the-ground speech, when she froze at the voice that was calling her name, from behind her. Damon's eyes raised to see the intruder of their conversation and when she noticed his confused face, she knew, shit was about to go down.

„Oh, crap." She silently cursed, trying to think of a spell to maybe freeze time or maybe turn back time, to take a different path around the hallways, a way she could avoid this awful, fateful moment that was coming up.

„Hey!" A handsome, blond-haired guy put his arm around her shoulders and tried to kiss her cheek, but she backed up away from him, almost falling down.

„Hey, Chris..." she said slowly, her fake smile trying to spread, but it was pointless.

„I was hoping to run into you. I saw Caroline this morning at Biochem, but you weren't there." The guy talked so animatedly with her, which made Damon raise his eyebrows in surprise.

„I slept in." She mumbled.

„Babe, how could that happen?" the guy wrapped his arms around her and tried to kiss her on the mouth this time, but she managed to pull him away, once again.

Damon's eyebrows disappeared into his forehead and he suppressed something between a chuckle or a growl or a grunt in his throat while crossing his arms over his chest and squirming in his stand.

„Hi, who are you?" Chris asked him way too cheerfully, to which Bonnie reacted too soon, stepping between the two men and chuckling herself humorlessly, before introducing them to each other.

„Chris, this is Damon. Damon, this is Chris."

„Hi, nice to meet you. You're a friend of Bonnie's?" the blonde guy offered Damon his hand with a very enthusiastic smile on his face, waiting patiently for his answer.

Bonnie could see Damon taking a full look over this guy. He seemed to observed his entire front with his face absolutely emotionless. Then, strangely, one corner of his mouth went up into a sinister smile, that screamed alarm in Bonnie's head.

„Chris, ha?" he just said instead, leaving the other man's hand stand out in the air.

„Yeah, I'm Bonnie's boyfriend." He answered, with his smile deteriorating just a little, pointing to the woman that was standing between them.

Bonnie actually gasped at Chris's words, desperately thinking of a way to deny such a deep connection between her and the guy. She noticed Damon didn't let his eyes go off the guy in front of him.

It was very disturbing to her, she could already see herself standing in all black, surrounded by her classmates, while looking at the coffin and a photo of Chris smiling brightly on it. Then, someone would went and asked the stupid question. _Who would ever do this_? She would act dumb and tried to mask appearances with a sad face, paying her last respects over to the dead guy.

She blinked in shock, swallowing a lump in her throat and thinking of a way for Chris to avoid that awful fate.

„Boyfriend, really?" Damon was trying to fake the amusing tone of his voice, but it was pointless. She already knew, that he couldn't find a single amusing thing around here.

„You know what, Chris?" Bonnie said with a tight smile on her face, shamefully avoiding his hand that was constantly trying to pull her into his embrace. „If you don't mind, Damon and I actually have something to do...we...uhm" she cleared her throat and chuckled nervously again, rubbing her forehead. „We have to plan a surprise party for...a friend and we, we have to discuss..." she started to make wide hand gestures, making Chris frown confusingly at her. „Balloon colors."

„Ow...okay." he answered sadly. „Well, I was thinking maybe we could have brunch together today, seeing as I haven't seen you for four whole days-" he tried once again to pull her into a strong bear hug, but only managed to pinch her cheeks, to which she delightfully fake smiled too. „And I really missed my girl."

Her eyes widened at his words and the tilt of his head with a puppy like a face, holding down on her hands and swaying them playfully. She shook those off and turned over to Damon, who was watching like a hawk the affections this guy seemed to be pulling on her. She could practically see murder written in his eyes, along with the delight and amusement that would take to tear Chris's throat out.

„I can't, Chris." She said defensively, making the guy frowned, confused by her behavior.

„Of course you can." Damon said, his tone surprisingly amusing.

She carefully turned over to face him, observing his smiling face, knowing he was faking it and the only real thought in his head right now was KILL, KILL, KILL.

„What?" she whispered.

„Of course, she's gonna go and have brunch with you." he looked only at the guy behind her, talking like it's the most common thing in the world. „Go, take her!" he laughed jokingly and Chris joined him, putting his arm around Bonnie's shoulders and neck from behind.

„But, Damon!" she spoke, with her teeth gritted and falsely smiling. „ What about the surprise party? And the balloons?"

„Nonsense!" he waved a dismissive hand in front of her face. „You two _lovebirds_ just go ahead and spend as much time as possible together! I will take care of the balloons! You don't have to worry a thing about it!"

„Really? With that horrible taste of yours you got? Damon-"

„It's balloons! How hard can it be?" he looked up at the guy behind her, tossing him an amused grin. „Can you believe this gal? Always worrying about _others_...so go and take her away. You can have her for the rest of the day."

„Really?" Chris asked with too much enthusiasm. „You sure you don't mind it, man?"

„Not. At. All." He slowly pronounced the words. „You kids, have my blessing." He said with a hand over his heart, faking smiles and looking back Bonnie, mockingly grinning at her sour face.

She could feel Chris, nodding his head and laughing too cheerfully, before he said his goodbye's with Damon and even fist bumped him (like, what the actual hell?) and dragged her away to her next nightmare.

The repercussions of it would be dealt with later. She could already see it in Damon's eyes, as they walked away.

* * *

She knew he would be waiting for her. It wasn't a surprise to find Damon sitting on her bed, leaned against the headboard, with his legs stretched out, holding one of Caroline's Cosmos in in front of him. She just came back form her brunch with Chris, to which she was forced to go, by this exact man. She paused on her doorway, before she decided it would be better to deal with this right now.

„So, how did the balloon picking go?" she asked, faking amusement, as she closed the door behind her and entered the room.

„Absolutely perfect. I got a lot of red ones. You know how much I looove red." he said, with his eyes widening. „How was your brunch?"

She dropped her purse down on Caroline's bed and turned around to face him, with an angry expression.

„That was awful of you! You knew I didn't want to go and you just made me!"

„Really?! Well, how rude of me!" he said, as he tossed the magazine away and stood up from the bed. He put a hand over his chest as he started to yell right back at her. „How incredibly insensible of me! I really am a monster! I mean, it's like I don't even care what _you_ think! That's just so _bad_ of _me_!"

„Okay!" she screamed, rolling her eyes.

„I mean, I'm not the one hiding a secret boyfriend from you, but my conduct just has no excuses." he faked shock.

„Okay, fine! Stop it already!" she cut him off. Then she sighed and taking a deep breath, looked at him seriously. „First off, he's not my boyfriend. Second, you're mad, I get it!"

„Mad? You think I'm mad?" he asked surprised. „No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bon, think again." he sing-songed and walked over to her, before stopping before her and leaning closely in her face. "I'm freaking furious!"

„Don't you think you're exaggerating just a little bit?" she asked, backing away from him a little.

„Oh, no. No, no. I'm not. Not at all!"

She rolled her eyes at him. He was always the dramatic one.

„I can't believe you didn't tell me!" he yelled. „Did you honestly thought I wasn't gonna find out?!"

„It's not a big deal!"

„You have a freaking _boyfriend_ and you didn't tell me!"

„He is not my boyfriend!"

„Well, you better tell him that, because I don't think he got the memo!"

„Enough! God!" she said, widening her eyes, not believing she was having this conversation. „Damon, you have no right to interfere in my life!"

„Yes, I do! I have every right to it!" he said angrily.

„No! No, you don't!" she shook her head at him, before she took a deep breath. „What I do...and who I do it with, is my business and just mine! Do you understand that?!"

She left him speechless. He abruptly just closed his mouth, tilted his head to the side and frowned.

„Hold on." he said shocked. „What do you mean ' _do it'_?"

And then she closed her mouth abruptly.

„What exactly are you _doing_ with this guy?" he asked her.

She set her eyes straight on his and they engaged into a staring match. Neither of them spoke, while they were glaring at each other. She didn't want to say it out loud and she thought of denying it, maybe changing the course of the conversation, but then she realized something. As she stared into his furious eyes, that were demanding an explanation of her, she knew this was where they were going to end up, anyway. So, why not crush it and be done with it? After the initial impact, they could move on better from it.

So, taking one more deep breath, she looked for a moment to the side and shrugged her shoulders, before looking back at Damon. And it was enough for him to know.

„Ooooh!" suddenly he growled and backed away from her. When he looked back at her, he looked furious „Seriously?! You had sex with that guy?!"

„That's none of your business!"

„That guy? The human Ken doll?" he yelled.

„What?" She frowned, shaking her head at him, as he put his hand over his face and rubbed it frustrated.

„Oh, right to this point I was hoping he was smooth down there like a real Ken doll!"

She had to roll her eyes at him, and she was just about to scream back at him, and by the looks of it, he was ready to do that, too, when they heard a third voice in the room.

„What did I just walk into?"

Her blonde roommate was standing at the doorway and looking wide eyed at them.

„Nothing, Caroline. Damon was just leaving!" Bonnie said, looking back at Damon, trying to get him to leave.

„Oh, the hell I was!"

„I don't have anything to tell you to anymore!"

„Well, too bad, I got a lot to tell to you!"

„Trouble in paradise?" Caroline asked them amused.

„No." Bonnie said, crossing her arms under her chest.

„Yes." Damon said instead.

„What?"

„Extra trouble." he widened his eyes at her.

„Damon, com'on!"

„Okay, what is going on?" The blonde vampire asked confused, after closing the door behind her and entering the room.

„Guess who I met this morning? Bonnie's boyfriend!" Damon said to her dramatically.

„Oh?" the blonde said casually, and after lifting her look on the blue-eyed vampire and seeing his confused face, she corrected herself and jerked in fake surprise. „Oooooh!"

„Yeah! And let me tell you, he is a blast!" he yelled, snorted and laughed at his chin, before he raised his eyes and continued talking. „But, of course, you knew that already! Hell, who else knew? Probably everybody else, right? I'm sure, you all had a good laugh behind my back!"

„Okay, seriously, Damon you need to calm down!" Caroline told him.

„Would you kindly get the hell out of here, Blondie?! I don't need your little comments here!" he decided to yell at her now.

„It's fine." Bonnie assured her and silently asked her to leave. „Just, please, give us a minute."

The blonde rolled her eyes, but did it anyway, leaving the room.

Bonnie waited before she turned back to face Damon. She was aware he was mad at her, but she still thought he was overreacting. She sighed before she started talking.

„Look, Damon." she looked at him, while he was quietly looking down at the floor. „I didn't wanted to tell you just yet. This thing with Chris...it's not even that serious, you know, we're just having fun and I didn't want to give it more attention than necessary. It's not that big of deal." she shrugged.

„You lied to me." he said silently and she shook her head at him.

„I didn't lie. I just, didn't say anything. There's a difference."

„And that sounds like something I would say." he snorted.

„Well, then you know what I mean."

He finally looked up at her. She was surprised at his look. His eyes held some sort of sadness and...something she didn't know how to describe. All of the sudden, he wasn't mad anymore, he seemed calm, but hurt. It made Bonnie feel uneasy about it.

„Yeah. I know. You kept it away from me, because you thought it was something worth keeping away from me." he said and smiled bitterly. „Didn't want me to ruin it, right?"

„Damon, it's not like that." she tried to deny.

„Doesn't really matter anymore, does it?" he sighed and looked away from her again, which made her frustrated and confused about his behavior and the way he was taking this. She never expected it to be like this.

„I just don't understand why are you so upset about this?" she asked. „I mean, did you really think that I would never go out and find myself someone? Someone that could make me happy? I'm not saying Chis is that someone, but one day...maybe even in the near future...I'm gonna start wanting all that stuff that other people want, too. It shouldn't be such a surprise to you."

„I know." he said as he narrowed his eyes on her. „I just...I didn't thought we were already there. It's too soon."

„Well, that's kind of selfish of you." she said, crossing her arms under her chest again, feeling defensive. „Damon, my whole life can't consist of hanging out with you and killing baddies in my spare time. Eventually, you're gonna have to come terms with that, and let go of me."

She watched him walk over to her and looking her straight in her eyes. It made her feel subconscious, the way he was looking at her, seemed like he was trying to cut into her and find that something he kept looking for. And after a long period of time, she felt what she was afraid she would eventually feel. His desperation and his dependence on her were on a dangerous path to becoming obsessive. And she questioned herself if she was prepared on the outcome of this.

„How am I suppose to do that? I didn't think we were already there." he said to her.

„Where is exactly _there_ , Damon?" She asked him quietly.

„I didn't think you were ready to move on, already."

„Move on?" she asked suspiciously. „Move on from what? I broke up with my last boyfriend a year and a half ago, if it could be even called a break up since I actually died and came back to life. Trust me, I've moved on, from that one, a long time ago. And after him, there was nobody else, remotely significant."

He diverted his eyes from her quickly, almost too quickly and that shocked her. She watched him close his eyes and shook his head, with another bitter smile falling of his lips. She didn't know what to feel or think about it. She just knew there was something hidden, something she couldn't quite place. He passed her by and left the room without another look her way or another word.

She knew what that meant. He was done with her. And it made her feel like a large weight was lifted of her shoulders, as well as if a big chunk of her heart was pulled out violently out of her.

* * *

 _ **So, yeah...Bonnie found herself a guy...the reason what exactly pushed her to do such a thing and act in a way that's kind of OOC for her, will be explained in the next chapter.**_

 _ **This one was a bit different from the others. I kind of wanted to make this a fun twist and not dwell to much on their thoughts of it. We'll have plenty of that further along.  
**_

 _ **What did you thought of it? Did it surprise you? Tell me what you think!**_

 _ **Soundtracks: Hozier - Someone new; The Neighbourhood - Say My Name/ Cry me a river.**_


	8. Chapter 8 - What am I, darlin?

**Chapter 8 -** **What am I, darlin'?**

 _5 years later_

 _The worst thing about the vervain is not the moment that it takes you down. It's when you wake up from it. All you can feel is muscle pain, weakness, and dullness. It creeps into your body slowly like ants are climbing into your brain. The tongue feels like a balloon rolled up in your mouth, threatening to choke you. You feel your whole body ache like poison darts are shoved all over your arms, legs, chest, and stomach._

 _Stefan hated vervain. Like any other normal vampire._

 _So, when he tried to open his heavy eyes, of course, he was irritated. All the effort it took from him, he just couldn't seem to hold them open. So, he focused on his other senses._

 _His nostrils were filled with the smell of gas, wood, and concrete. His mouth was dry and his throat was sore. He tried to swallow, but it burned him like hell to do so. He coughed silently, trying to clear out his throat. His head kept falling down, no matter how many times he tried to keep it up. His ears were drumming and he could hear the murmur, but he could not recognize any distinctive sound. The vervain was probably injected into his neck because it hurt like a bitch as if a snake has bitten him._

 _He wanted to hold his head in his hands and squeeze his fingers on his temples to try and ease the pain, but he couldn't raise them up. He couldn't even feel his arms and when he tried moving them nothing happened. When he managed to straighten his head up and opened his eyes a little, he could see the ropes around his chest and arms, a strong sent of gasoline coming from it, turning his stomach around. He could see the floor was closer than usual, so he concluded he was tied up to a chair. He didn't feel his legs yet, but he could imagine they were tied up too._

 _He heard the silent sobs from the person next to him and he hated how good he knew her voice. How much her sobs felt like home to him, even at this very moment, as they sat next to each other, waiting to find out what was it that got them in this predicament. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He wanted to help her, to save her from the trouble that she was in, and somehow he seemed to have fallen in the same mess as her.  
_

* * *

„It's a kyanite." Valarie said flatly, as she held the little blue stone in level with her eyes, between her fingers.

„Kyanite? As in a blue kyanite crystal?" Bonnie knowingly frowned.

„It can come in other colors, but mostly it's blue." The heretic shrugged.

To say that she was surprised would be a lie. Bonnie expected an answer like that. This morning, as she was getting ready for class, she once again ran into the weird stone in her jewelry box. A crystal she didn't remember buying or finding. A few weeks back, when she first found it, she did her research on it. She tried looking through some books, but couldn't quite place it anywhere. She even tried asking other witches for help, like the old lady in Cragsville that she visited with Damon, but nothing and nobody knew what to tell her, except that it was a kyanite crystal. And she knew that herself, too.

So she decided to ask the heretics about it. Her first choice was Nora, as she gotten closer to the girl, these past few weeks. Ever since Nora broke up with Mary Louise, she started college, so Bonnie and her shared a couple of classes. This morning she was busy, so Bonnie called Valarie instead. It wasn't like they were friends or something, but the blonde was actually willing to help.

„Do you know what is it used for?" she tried digging a little deeper.

„Kyanite has the ability to bring all of the chakras into alignment, it helps restore energy balance or stimulate the Third-Eye Chakra. Usually, it's purpose is for good." The blonde answered and again her words didn't surprise Bonnie. But, then the heretic squinted her eyes, looking over the stone in her hand, like she was trying to solve something or see something that was barely visible.

„However..."

This got Bonnie on alert.

„However, what?"

„This one has been parted." Valarie ran her finger along the side of the rock, showing it to Bonnie. „A part of it was removed for some reason."

„What does that mean?"

„Usually, a broken off piece of crystal is in no use. Once, it's not attached to the rest of it, you have no use of it."

„But?"

„But, look at this one. It's a sleek cut. No rough edges, no signs that it's been broken. Someone cut it off on purpose. You're sure you didn't buy it yourself?" she asked her suspiciously.

„Of course. I would know. What do you think that means?" Bonnie was worried.

„I can't tell you for sure. But, in my opinion...I think, that whoever has the rest of this stone, is using it to control you somehow."

„Control me? What do you mean? Control me how?" Bonnie frowned.

„I don't know. You said the stone has been laced in your blood, which means it sort of represents you, it's connected to you. And, whoever has the remaining part, has something of yours. It might be something you do not possess anymore."

„So, basically, there is someone out there that has full control on me?"

„It's not as simple as you say it. It usually never is." Valarie told her, handing her the crystal back.

„Who would do this?" Bonnie asked observing the stone in her hands.

„I have no idea."

She raised her eyes suspiciously on the blonde heretic. It didn't take a genius to know what she was thinking.

„Don't get any ideas in your head, Bonnie." Valarie said, shaking her head.

„Why not? You and your heretic family are twisted like that. You could've planted it here."

„We didn't do it. We wouldn't. If we wanted to destroy you, we would do it right away, not by stealing pieces of you. Don't be ridiculous. Besides, I wouldn't have just told you what I know, would I? What purpose would that serve me?"

Bonnie shut her mouth abruptly. She didn't know what to think about this. It felt awfully scaring to know someone had put some kind of spell on her or done something to her.

„Can I find the person who has the other part? Maybe with a locator spell."

„I doubt it would be helpful. The stone is connected with you, your blood was on it. It doesn't connect you to the other part. That part is lost, removed. It's possible it doesn't even exist anymore."

„What am I suppose to do?" Bonnie asked exasperatedly.

„The solution is simple." Valarie told her. „You destroy the crystal and whoever has the remaining part, can't have no control over you anymore."

„What about the lost part? Do I get it back?"

„No. It stays lost. But, it prevents the person to do any more other damage." Valarie said as she picked up her purse and jacket. „I have to go. I'm meeting Stefan in an hour."

Bonnie stood in her place, as Valarie started to leave. This was a lot to process. And honestly, she didn't know how to even start or what to do.

„You know, I think I read it somewhere..." she heard Valarie talk from behind, so she turned to face her. The blonde gave her a sympathetic look bordering with worry. „That they called the Archangel Michael's sword a kyanite. The sword was the same color of kyanite. There was no evidence the two of them are connected in any way. But, when they compared it, they said _the kyanite sword divides the truth behind spoken words_. Just destroy the crystal, Bonnie. It's for the best."

* * *

In the last week, Damon drank about 12 bottles of bourbon, 6 bottles of vodka, 4 bottles of tequila (which he hated),1 bottle of champagne and right now he was opening a bottle of white rum he found in Stefan's room. He guessed Caroline left it there since she was the only one he knew that drank that stuff.

No matter what people said, alcohol was the answer to every life's problem. The worries of the day faded away, the regrets and mistakes disappeared, bad words once said became forgotten. You just had to pinpoint that exact second and the amount of alcohol, when that happens. And for Damon, it was becoming harder and harder.

Just, when he thought he was good, he was finally at peace, something would remind him he really wasn't. Like a song, or a book, or some stupid thing that reminded him of her. Like a broom, for all those times he teased her about it. Or how the green study lamp reminded him of the color of her eyes, or how the stupid flower arrangements around the house,( btw, why did two grown-up vampires had so many flower arrangements lying around?) reminded him of her collection of floral print clothes. Or how The Fairy Tales of Hans CHRIStian Andersen reminded him of the guy he was so anxious to kill.

And why didn't he?

The old Damon would have already killed him, his whole family and all the guys that looked like him. He would have already beheaded all the blonde Ken dolls he could find. Because the guy was like a living breathing true size copy of the stupid doll.

He was quite tall, taller than Damon himself, actually, which made Bonnie's height, in the comparison to this guy, laughable. But, that was not the thing that caught Damon's attention the most. He had blonde hair. Actual blonde hair, like a Ken doll. He had wide shoulders, muscled arms and a narrow waist, with a face of a movie star and the word perfection printed on his stupid forehead. His smile was an absolutely stupid perfect one with perfectly stupid white teeth and a stupid friendly face that made Damon want to punch him in his stupid perfect jaw.

What did she see in this guy?

„Well, aren't you a ray of freaking sunshine today?"

And of course, right on cue, there was Stefan, his stupid wanna be a perfect little brother, entering the room Damon has been occupying for the last 6 days. He was in the Lockwood study room, listening to some old records of Richard Lockwood. The guy was an asshole, but he had good music taste. Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam...Damon could respect him for that. Right now he had _Led Zeppelin's 'All of my love'_ on repeat, while he was choking down the bitter rum, lying on the floor, surrounded with the crushed study lamp and a broken broom next to him, all the while the book of Fairy tales was burning in the fireplace.

„Screw you." he said, not even sparing a glance at Stefan.

„Okay." The younger vampire nodded. „Can you tell me at least what crawled up your ass, so I could at least estimate the time it will take to die off? We got some business to take care of. You know, kill the ancient old vampire our mother has been dating."

„Screw Julian. Screw our mother. And once again, screw you." Damon said, once again, before gulping down more of the rum.

„Hey!" a cheery voice came down from the hallway. Damon didn't need to look up to know it was the heretic that devirginized his brother. She was still staying in their place, while they were waiting for the perfect time to go after Julian.

Stefan and she finally came clean. Apparently, Stefan impregnated Valarie in the 1850's and Julian was the reason she lost the baby. When Damon learned that fact, he was all for standing by his brother and helping him do whatever he wanted...unfortunately, that was before his life lost meaning and became on big drunken blur. Right now, the only thing concerning Damon was how much alcohol was left in the house and how fast he could drink it.

„Hi! You're back, I was starting to get worried you chickened out and left." Stefan said, turning to face the woman that was standing in the doorway. She raised her eyebrows in question regarding the drunk vampire on the floor, but Stefan shook his head to ignore it.

„Of course not." She said a bit unsure. „I was at Whitmore college, your friend asked me for a bit of advice."

„Caroline?" Stefan frowned.

„No, the witch. Bonnie." The blonde tried to ignore the grunt coming from the half dead, drunken mess on the floor. „She had a magical issue."

„Everything alright?" Stefan asked worriedly.

„Sure." She said. „I'm all ready to kick Julian's but. Whenever that might be. But, now, I would like to go take a shower, if you don't mind."

„Go ahead." Stefan told her, as she left the room. He slowly turned to his brother, whose jaw was now clenched and his eyes were starting to turn red, which often happened when he was about to rip someone's throat out.

„So, what's up with Bonnie?" Stefan asked, trying to sound as casual as he could.

„You're asking me?" Damon said through his greeted teeth.

„Well, yeah. Valarie just said she had a magical problem-"

„How the hell am I suppose to know that?!" Damon cut off his brother, abruptly sitting up, causing a loud clank with the bottle he was holding and sloshing around the liquid that was left inside. „What? Do I have it written on my forehead that I have the magical answer to everything that happens with the stupid witch?! I don't' even know her! I don't even care what happens with her! She can do whatever the hell she wants, even if it meant jumping down the Eiffel tower. See if I care!"

He stood up from the floor and walked over to the gramophone player to take the vinyl currently playing and trying to find something else. He tried so hard to ignore his little brother who he felt was still standing behind him and judging him, like always.

„Okay...So, I'm gonna go on a whim here and say your mood has something to do with Bonnie. She's the reason you're so pissed."

„I am not pissed!" Damon said throwing the Deff Lepard record through the window.

He could hear his brother sigh behind him and he was already preparing himself for Stefan's preaching about how he should try and be the better man, the man Elena wanted him to be, the man that sat around like a good little boy while he waited for the woman of his dreams to come and get him, so she could tell him everything was going to be alright.

He was so God damn tired of trying to be that man.

„Damon, you can't control everything she does." Instead, Stefan dropped the bomb on him. It made him realize Stefan was aware of the rift between him and the witch and even more he was aware she was the one to blame. Which could mean only one thing.

„You knew?" Damon asked him stunned, turning around to face his little brother. Stefan was calmly looking back at him, his arms crossed over his chest, calm as a millpond.

He started laughing bitterly. „What am I saying, of curse you knew, you're Blondie's boyfriend!"

„What's the big deal?"

„Big deal?!" Damon looked at him wide-eyed. „She's been doing God knows what behind my back! She kept secrets from me and lied to me about it and then she went and acted like we were friends!"

„You just described yourself." Stefan told him. „That's how you act towards everybody else, including her. Now, she gives you a taste of your own medicine and you're mad about it?"

„No. No." Damon shook his head. „When I do it, I do it because I know that it's better that way. I know _why_ I am doing that."

„Why?" Stefan surprised him with the question.

„Why what?"

„Why do you do that? Why do you lie and do things your own way, with no one's consent? Why do you always go behind someone elses back and inflict your choices on them?"

„Because..." the blue-eyed vampire shook his head and frowned. His brother was on a roll today. He kept throwing questions on him like a boss. And Damon hated it. He hated the fact Stefan might be on to something here because as much as he wanted to deny it...it was the truth. He demanded respect from everybody else, without giving up any.

„You wouldn't understand, Stefan." He tried to dismiss his brother.

„Right. Because no one ever understands." Stefan exhaled. „You know, Damon, if you weren't so keen on being so selfish and doing the things you do, hiding it from everybody, maybe you would actually have a normal relationship worth of preserving. Because with the things that you do, you only push people away."

„Bonnie lied to _me_ and somehow this is _my_ fault?" he asked angrily, pointing to himself.

„She lied because she was afraid of your reaction. She lied because she assumed your reaction." Staff chuckled humorlessly. „Can't you see what's going on? She lied because it is what you do, so how the hell can you expect anything else from her than the same thing you're offering to her? Lies."

And that reminded him of the words that have been said to him months ago, by a very critical and disapproving psychic, that he asked to help him...with a lie.

 _Do not expect honesty from those to whom you give only lies._

And sure enough, he did fall into his own trap, just like she warned him.

* * *

Bonnie felt weird. She was frustrated, mad, sad, angry, disappointed. She couldn't quite place her feeling on just one of those emotions. It was like all of them were starting to pile up on her and she was afraid she would drown in them.

She stared at the screen of her phone, that was slowly becoming her worst enemy. She tried so many times to reach him, but he wasn't having that. He was being dumb and overly too dramatic.

Why did guys always had to be like that? Really, and they say women were the ones who overthink too much and complicate things? If it really was like that, she asked herself who was the woman in their relationship? Her or Damon?

She froze on the word _relationship_. No, no, she meant friendship.

Yeah, sure, she did.

And again, maybe that was the thing. She acted as if they were in a relationship, like she had to go and sneak around with another guy, because it felt oddly close to cheating.

She treated Damon as a problem. Something that needed to be fixed. Solved. Resolved.

And ironically it caused the problem.

She understood after he walked away from her, 10 days ago, he was done with her. He didn't want to talk to her or see her or hear from her until he called it off. But, the thing was, he was Damon. He usually couldn't make it through for the next two hours, let an alone a couple of days, without reaching out to her. She expected him to call her, just so he could whine to her and think of the ways she would make it up to him. But, this time it was different. He was MIA. She couldn't get to him. She even called Stefan to ask him if he'd seen him, because she was worried he would go and do the Damon thing and kill someone.

But, he was home. Stefan assured her he was fine and she didn't need to worry. He was just sulking around and drinking. Which, for Damon...was weird. He was more of an angry, kill kill, drunk, not a sulking one. But, never the less, Chris was still alive, she saw him this morning at Calculus, while he was throwing her one of his puppy sad looks. Guys could be such a buzzkill, sometimes.

She dropped the phone down next to her and picked up the book she was reading.

„Hey." Her roommate greeted her at the entrance of their room.

Bonnie waved at her smiling and got back to reading the Crystal Bible Volume One by July Hall.

„I thought you were out." The blonde said, walking over to her bed and setting her bag on it, before turning around to face Bonnie.

„I was tired. I didn't feel like going anywhere." She said, checking her phone and making an annoyed face.

„Is something wrong?" her friend asked her, raising her eyebrows.

„No, nothing." She shook her head.

„Bonnie...it's me. You know you can tell me."

She thought about telling Caroline her concerns. But, she was also very skeptical. It was old news, that the blonde was Damon's Number 1 Hater, so she didn't really think she could understand the problem Bonnie was having. Still, she needed to talk to someone.

So, she dropped the book down and sat up straighter, looking at her best friend's eyes.

„I've been trying to get a hold on Damon. He's not answering my calls, text, emails...He put me on full time ignore. And...that really pisses me off."

Caroline cleared her throat and sat down on the bed next to Bonnie.

„He's still mad." She just said.

„I don't get it." Bonnie said exasperated. „I knew he would be angry with me, but I never expected it to go this far."

„Well, you should probably just give him some time to, you know, cool off."

„And how long is that going to take?" Bonnie rolled her eyes.

„Beats me. I don't have the play by play of being friends with Damon Salvatore."

„It just frustrates me!" Bonnie stood up from the bed and started pacing around the room. „Why does he have make such a big deal out of it? He's acting like I killed someone! And even then, I'm sure, he would actually demand a high five and a celebration party, because, _he taught me so well_!" she said the last part trying to imitate his voice.

Caroline was quiet, while Bonnie was venting and quite honestly, Bonnie was welcomed for that. The worst thing she could do now was argue and complain about the blue-eyed vampire. Bonnie was the only one who could complain about him.

„Why don't you take a little time off thinking about Damon and go see Chris? I'm sure he would like that, too." the blonde smiled mischievously and winked.

„I don't want to." Bonnie dismissed her quickly. A little too quickly for blonde's liking.

„Well, you should."

„Caroline..." Bonnie sighed.

„Jeez, Bonnie!" the vampire yelled exasperated. „It's not like it's a difficult choice. Go see your hot and kind boyfriend and stop stressing about a homicidal vampire with trust issues!"

„No." The witch said, crossing her arms under her chest as if she was trying to shield herself from something.

„Why not?" the blonde asked her, watching her curiously.

At that moment, Bonnie was reminded, when she was 8 years old, when her and Elena broke her Grams's favorite antique french style bed by jumping up and down, because they didn't have a trampoline, like Tyler Lockwood did in his backyard and he invited only the boys from school to come over and jump around. Caroline had the same suspicious look, like her Grams did when she said it wasn't her that broke the bed, but the cat, Mr. Jellybean.

„Because...I kind of...broke it off...with Chris."

„What? Why?"

Bonnie shrugged. „I-"

„You broke up with your boyfriend because your friend didn't want you to have a boyfriend?!" the blonde shrieked, getting up from the bed.

„I never said that!"

„Bonnie!" Caroline whined.

Bonnie sighed hard and rolled her eyes. Her friend was taking this way too personally. She was so thrilled with the fact Bonnie had someone, it was becoming ridiculous. The blonde was already practically planning their wedding, because to her Chris was _Aw so perfect_.

But, that was kind of the issue with him. He was just too God damn perfect. Yeah, he was great in bed and he was really hot, but that was just about it that was attractive about him to Bonnie. He was also on the football team and he was always nice to everyone, so polite and dreamy it made her gag with disgust. She didn't like that kind of guys, not anymore. She didn't want a nice guy, because she pretty much sick of them. She wanted a bad boy. Someone who would take what he wanted without a question asked. Someone who could handle her when she went rogue. She wanted the passion, the excitement, the unpredictability and the craziness. She was rooting for it.

„Look, things with me and Chris were not going so great, okay? Things were moving too fast. He invited me to go with him to Mississippi for Christmas. To meet his parents."

„Well, that's great!" Caroline's eyes practically glittered.

„No, it wasn't!" Bonnie yelled frustrated. „We've been seeing each other for just a few weeks! I don't even know him that well, I can't just embark on a trip across the country with him!"

„That's the point of dating! Getting to know each other! Plus, you embarked on a trip with Damon across the world, why not with Chris?"

„You can't compare that!" Bonnie laughed. „That's an entirely different thing!

The blonde rolled her eyes and paused for a second before she turned around and mumbled in her chin.

„Yeah! It always is with Damon."

Bonnie was not sure if it was meant to be heard or not, but guessing on the fact it was coming from Caroline, she knew it was.

„What's that suppose to mean?" she glared at the blonde when she turned back to her.

„It means that you give Damon too much credit and power over your life." Caroline said angrily. „You broke up with your boyfriend, the second Damon made a sour face and a bitter comment on it!"

„That's not true." Bonnie shook her head. „And, stop calling him my boyfriend! Chris and I were never exclusive!"

„Oh, please!"

„I'm serious, Care!" she was growing sick of hearing Chris was her boyfriend, especially hearing it from her best friend. If there was anybody who should be aware of the reality of the situation, it was Caroline. „You got too attached to this guy, and you never could get over the fact, that we were just casual!"

„Yeah, because you are sooo that girl!" the blonde laughed sarcastically, but it only made Bonnie angrier.

„So, what if I am?"

„Bonnie, you're not!" the blonde told her, looking at her with condescending eyes that made the witch scream from anguish. „I know you! Better than anyone! And I know you're not the kind of girl who would just sleep with a guy for fun! I mean, for crying out loud, you lost your virginity in college, when you were 19! And to your best friend's little brother, which was probably the safest guy ever! You don't go around and sleep with guys you don't know! Casual sex is not your thing!"

„You never stopped and think maybe I wanted it to be my thing?" Bonnie asked shaking her head in anger.

„What are you talking about?" the blonde asked with a little smile, that was really starting to piss Bonnie off. She could feel the rage that was pumping her blood rapidly through her veins and the hotness behind her ears, that was making her want to melt off that superior expression on her best friend's face.

She walked over, standing closer to the blonde with a straight cold look.

„I'm talking about the fact, that I don't want to be what you and everybody else expect me to be! The good little witch! The great friend in need! The answer to everybody's freaking problem! The conscious, responsible good girl that never does anything reckless, because God forbid, I have a little fun and go off your morality radar!"

„You want to have fun?" Caroline asked her wide-eyed, with an ironic tone in her voice. „Fine! Just say the word, Bonnie! We'll have fun, we'll have as much as fun as you want! I'll be right there by your side!"

„To make sure I don't do anything stupid and crazy, right?!" Bonnie asked her furiously.

„What?" the blonde stepped back a little, frowning.

She was surprised with this outburst Bonnie was having and it made her question what was this actually about. She took a deep breath and trying to talk in the most sympathetic way to her friend.

„Bonnie...Where is all this coming from? Why are you so angry with me?"

„No! I'm not angry with just you! I'm sick and tired of everybody treating me like I've lost my mind if I do something, I wouldn't normally do! Newsflash, Caroline! I am 21 and I am in college! If I want to screw somebody, I'll go ahead and screw him! I'm not gonna stop and ask you for a goddamn permission!"

She pushed her way out of the room, bumping her shoulder into Caroline's and ignoring the desperate calls and questions coming from the blond. She couldn't stand another second in this room with this person. She needed to get away from her and here.

* * *

Life had three consistencies. Past, present and future.

She knew the past. It was always hard, always hurtful, always losing something. She was the collateral damage to every war or battle they ever had. And she was more than fine with it. She thought that was the way she would be remembered. If somebody gave up their life for you, you would never forget that person. Right?

Then again, she had lost her life a number of times, because of someone else, and what good did that bring her? Maybe there would be more recognition if she were to stay dead. Maybe they thought she wasn't really that selfless, if she kept dying, every day for another person and constantly coming back, it would mean she wasn't that committed. Like, okay, today I'll die for you, and then after I come back to life, I'll die for somebody else and come back again.

Was that her role? Was that what she was supposed to do? That was the question Bonnie kept asking herself. She thought she had an answer to that in her past lives. She was the witch. The best friend. The savior of the day. The one no one chose. The one that saved everybody else, but no one ever saved her.

So, now, after dying so many times and coming back again, she didn't know where was she anymore. What was her stand now? Was she still the witch? Yes, that one stayed the same, she was still the witch that needed to cast a spell, when something went wrong. But, in a way that changed, because everything else changed.

The best friend. She was still the best friend, too. Caroline's best friend, her only best friend, now that Elena was gone. That role was somehow divided between her and Caroline, while Elena was still here. And even though, she never voiced it, unlike Caroline that always hated to be in the brunette's shadow, Bonnie hated it, too. And now that the vital part of their group was gone, they both had a chance to see how it actually was to be put in the first plan.

But, besides being Caroline's bestie, she was Damon's, too. Despite the wedge that was currently between them, she still liked to see each other as friends. He was a tough one, hard to please, incredibly rude and selfish, but...he was selfish about her in a way, too. He wanted her all to himself and even though it crossed some lines she didn't want them to cross, it felt good. To be so important to someone else and to mean so much to them. It was new to her.

And automatically, she became the one that someone else chose to save. Let's not kid ourselves. She's not gonna be the one to praise Damon's choice of her over Elena because, in the end, he could've done that _because_ of Elena. And in reality, she shouldn't have to feel thankful to him for saving her life, because it was the decent thing to do and it wasn't his choice. It was hers. That was what she kept reminding herself. Only she had the right to make choices over her life. No one else. And if Damon saved her life, it was so she could chose for herself what she wanted to do with her life. No one else.

Okay, so maybe some of her choices were bad, to begin with. For instance, deciding on going to that POST-Halloween party. Which followed, waking up next to an unfamiliar muscled guy, that still had his Pirate wig on his head, was probably the last thing she should do. But, it was the consequence of the POST Halloween party mixed with jello shots, too much alcohol, too little inhibition and very poor judgment. And even though it was a bad decision, it was something she did for herself. Why should she live her life according to others? Always in fear what are they going to think of her. She was tired of that, tired of rethinking over every step she took, every drink she drank and every boy she kissed. It was her life, she could do whatever she liked.

If her past was so exhausting and predictable, she would make sure her present and future were not.

She brushed her hand over the cold surface of the wooden casket. Somehow, every question, every problem, every fight she had...came down to it. Like she could find the answer inside.

It seemed crazy.

Crazy, because, in reality, the only thing she could find inside was the body of her sleeping best friend.

Maybe. Maybe that was what she needed. To bring Elena back. Maybe life would then be easier, because her well being wouldn't hold such heaviness on everybody around her. Truth be told, it was becoming exhausting. Like there was this constant reminder over her head, she had to make her life count, so really she wasn't entitled into making any mistakes and drifting off the course. She had to live her life to the fullest and be the perfect example for everyone, all the while solving their problems on the way.

And why?

So, that one day, one glorious day when the great Elena would wake up, they could tell her: _Yes, Bonnie had a good and perfect life, the years you spent sleeping weren't wasted for nothing._

She sighed, reaching into her pocket and taking out the little blue crystal piece, that was just one of the so many things that were causing her headache. Valarie said she should destroy it because it was for the best.

But, for some reason, Bonnie was skeptical about it. The heretic told her, someone was using it to control her and even though it should make her shatter it into millions of pieces and run in the opposite direction, it didn't. She actually felt relieved, in a very weird inhuman way. Relieved for the fact, someone else had some responsibility for her life, so if she indeed screwed it up, maybe it could take away the gut-wrenching guilt that was eating her out.

She placed the crystal on top of the coffin and started to chant.

„ _Veritatem revelare!"_

„ _Veritatem revelare!"_

„ _Veritatem revelare!"_

The crystal started to shake slowly, she watched it with her eyes wide open, her fists clenched into tight fists, her hair flying into her eyes.

„ _Veritatem revelare!"_

And then it dropped down weakly.

Bonnie looked around herself, slowly dragging her eyes onto the stone and sighed disappointingly. Nothing happened. She thought maybe it was connected to the sleeping spell. But, it was a long shot, she was aware.

She took the stone in her hands and observed it closely. It was very pretty. The color was beautiful and she could see the shades dancing around. She knew in her gut, this was something more than a simple spell put on her. There was something more here. She just couldn't decipher what.

The worst thing of all, she wouldn't solve it now. She could feel another presence with her, so she put the crystal back into her pocket and slowly turned around to face the man standing behind her.

„Hello, cutie!"

* * *

He needed to slow down with the drinking. It was his brother's orders and a plan that if he really wanted to be miserable and pine away, they could do it together. Valarie was out for the night, where exactly they didn't know, so Stefan had assembled some kind of brother bonding over their misery. Carol Lockwood had some of the best bourbons in town. It wasn't as good as what they had in their house, but it was definitely worth trying.

Damon and Stefan were drinking in the living room, in silence, when they heard a sound of a familiar car engine outside. They knew very well it was Bonnie's hybrid parking in the driveway. They both looked at each other and frowned.

„Did you-"

„Of course not." Damon cut his brother's question before he had a chance to ask. It would be really stupid of him to call her to come over. They were on the outs right now. He didn't talk to her since that day in her dorm room.

„You deal with it." He said lowly, walking further away in the room, so he couldn't see the entrance. He wasn't ready to talk to her yet. He heard Stefan going to the front door and opening it widely to the visitor.

„Bonnie?" his brother's voice got him on alert. He could hear from his tone something was wrong. „What happened? Bonnie?"

Damon could hear her struggling in breathing and her pulse throbbing loudly and panic. She was scared. Or hurt. Or both. He didn't wait for another second. He flashed to stand behind his brother.

„I'm sorry." She managed to say to Stefan before her teary red eyes found his. „I didn't know where else to go. I just..."

He took her appearance in. Her clothes were dirty and her jeans are ripped on her knees. She held some sort of cloth material over her neck, but it didn't cover much of the fact there was half dried blood oozing out of there. Her cheeks were wet and her lips were dry, plus she had a nasty cut on her forehead.

„Hey-" Stefan extended his hand towards her to get her inside, but Damon beat him to it.

„Bon! Hey, hey." He pulled her inside, rubbing her arms affectionately up and down, observing her face. His face expression soft and comforting. She choked on her tears and started crying harder. Damon pulled her in his embrace, leaning her head on his chest, with his chin above and his arms around her body holding her tightly. He hated how she shivered and tremble against him, while her hands were strongly gripping the front of his shirt. She was in shock.

„It's okay. You're okay." He assured her, while holding her, stroking her hair softly and whispering softly to her, while she soaked his shirt with her tears. „I've got you now. You're okay. I won't let anything happen to you."

* * *

„Thank you." she took a glass from Stefan's hands and swallowed a big gulp of bourbon that was laced with a couple of drops of Damon's blood, wincing at the taste. She couldn't detect the blood in it, but it was so much harder to swallow down alcohol when she was in pain.

„I'm really sorry for barging in here like this." She apologized to both of the Salvatore brothers. Stefan took a seat across from her, while Damon was sitting next to her on the sofa, his hands on her all the time. He kept stroking her back in a comforting manner, patting her head, caressing her hands. It was like he wanted to reassure her he was there for her. Or maybe he wanted to assure himself, she was there. Either way, Bonnie didn't refuse him.

„I just... I didn't where else to go." She said looking down at her glass.

„It's okay." Stefan told her.

„Stop it." Damon cut off his brother. He made her look at him, while he placed his hand on her cheek. „Don't be ridiculous. This is the exact place where you're supposed to be."

She held his eyes for a long time. She wasn't even aware by this moment, how much she actually missed him. All those stupid little riffs between them seemed pointless now. As long as they had each other, nothing else mattered.

Stefan cleared his throat.

„Tell us what happened?" he asked her.

She looked away from Damon, blinking away in shame, while she raised her eyes on Stefan. She took a deep breath like she was preparing to speak, but suddenly she exhaled like she changed her mind.

„I'm not sure that I should."

„Bonnie. It's okay."

„Bon. Speak. Now." Damon said strictly.

She looked over at Damon first, then Stefan. „I just don't want things to escalate more than necessary. Besides, you already have a bone to pick up with him, this seems just like I'm trying to make it worse."

„Pick a bone? With who? Who are you talking about?" Stefan asked her frowning.

„Julian." She said quietly, looking down in her glass again.

There was a long silence in the room. Stefan looked at Bonnie, then diverted his eyes to Damon, who had murder written all over him.

„What did he do to you?" the younger brother asked her almost scared of her answer.

„Nothing." She said, raising her eyes and looking at them both. „As you see, I'm fine. It's just..." she shrugged. "He attacked me. Tried to bite me, and pushed me, hit me,... basically, he tried to kill me."

„But, why?"

„I guess he was bored?" she said trying to laugh. „I don't know. Maybe I provoked him. He said I was stepping into their ground, so.."

„What do you mean, their ground?" Stefan kept the questioning.

„Cemetery. I was there to leave some fresh flowers to my Grams's and I stopped by your family script, to check on Elena...and he was there."

She didn't want to tell them the real reason. Her fight with Caroline, her annoyance with Damon, her guilt, and confusion about her own life. She didn't want to sound too needy or childish like, it was enough that she came by their house with the first problem.

„That son of a bitch!" Stefan cursed, rubbing his hand over his face, frustrated.

„I'll kill him." Damon hissed in his chin.

„It's fine, you guys. I'm okay." She tried to assure them, and then she chuckled. „Thanks to Lilly and Enzo?"

„What do you mean?" Stefan raised his eyebrows in question.

„They stopped him before he could do any real harm. I was lucky, they weren't in agreement with him, that I deserved to die." She said while the Salvatore brother looked at each other confused.

Bonnie placed the empty glass on the table and stood up.

„It's late. I should-"

„Stay here." Stefan cut her off, getting up from his seat, almost the same second she did. „There's no way we're letting you go anywhere, now. Not after what you've been through."

She smiled to Stefan, silently thanking him. When she looked down at Damon, he was still sitting on the couch, not moving, with an emotionless facial expression.

„Damon? You don't mind?"

The sound of her voice brought him back into the room with them. He looked up and stood up, embracing her once again. She loved how comforting she felt in his arms. It seemed like all was right in the world again.

„You're not going anywhere." She heard him say.

The words seemed to hold so much more heaviness and meaning, she could feel the overwhelming flopping inside of her stomach. And as much as she hated it, how personal it felt, she loved it all the same.

„Go up in my room." He told her, once he let her go. „Take a shower. There are towels in the bathroom cabinet under the sink. And clean clothes in the top drawer of the dresser. I'll come to see you when you're done." He kissed her softly on the forehead and she nodded her head. She turned over to Stefan once more.

„Could you call Caroline? Just tell her I won't be at the dorm tonight. Don't tell her anything about what happened, please."

He nodded and watched her leave the room. Both of the Salvatore brothers were in the same position, until they heard her go upstairs and get inside of the room. The second they heard the door close, Damon started to run towards the door, but Stefan expected this to happen, so he flashed before him in locked the front door, turning around to face his furious brother.

„Get out of my way, Stefan!" he hissed angrily.

„No." Stefan tried to talk to him calmly. „You can't do this, Damon."

„The hell I can't!" Damon looked at his little brother with crazy eyes. „I'll kill him. I'll gauge his eyes out first, shove them up his ass, tear him limb by limb, cut off his cock and feed him to it! No more waiting, Stefan. I'm gonna kill this fucker tonight!"

The blue-eyed vampire tried to push his way through Stefan, but he didn't let him. He held his hands over his shoulders, trying to stop him from doing anything stupid.

„No! Damon! No!" he yelled at him, as they struggled. „You won't do anything tonight!"

„What the hell is wrong with you, Stefan?" Damon yelled at him, as he backed up, looking surprised. „This was what you wanted from the start! You wanted this guy dead!"

„And I still do!" Stefan yelled back. „But, not like this. Not tonight. You pulled me back from going recklessly after him and now it's my turn to do the same. You can't go in this with no plan at all! It will backfire and you're only gonna make more problems."

„God damn it!" Damon growled in frustration, turning away and rubbing a hand over his face.

„I know how you feel! I know you just want to paint the walls red with his blood, but I can't let you do it." Stefan said, shaking his head. „She wouldn't want you to. You know that the last thing Bonnie needs right now is you spouting more trouble. She needs you here, with her. Calm and collected. I know that's not what you normally do, but make an effort for her."

Damon looked back at his brother. He looked a little calmer.

„What the hell am I suppose to do? Just let him get away with it? He tried to kill her!"

„But he didn't! That's the point, Damon! She almost died tonight! So you need to make sure she's alright." his brother told him pointing on the upstairs floor. „We'll kill Julian. I promise. He won't get away with it."

* * *

After his brother managed to calm him down, along with a couple of more glasses of bourbon, Damon slowly pushed his way into his room. He found Bonnie, standing by his bed, freshly showered and changed into clean clothes. He froze for a moment, seeing her dressed in his black shirt and nothing more. Her hair was still half wet, she was free of any makeup and she smelled like his body wash. He swallowed hard when he noticed her smile slightly at him. Damon closed the door behind him and slowly made his way over to her.

„You got everything you need?"

„Yeah." She nodded. She waited until he was standing in front of her, to look him in the eyes and took a deep breath. „I didn't except you so soon."

He understood what she meant. She knew him too well. She was aware he would try and go after Julian.

„Stefan told me to get some perspective." He rolled his eyes. „Sleep it off, think it over, whatever."

„That's smart." She smiled lightly.

„More like pointless. It's not like I'm gonna wanna kill him less in the morning."

She held his eyes for long before she answered him.

„Damon, he's not worth it."

„But, you are." He told her widening his eyes at her.

Her face expression softened and for a moment he thought she was going to cry again. Instead, she looked away and sat down on the bed. He followed her and did the same.

„Stefan called Caroline." He informed her.

„What did she say? Did he told her what happened?" she asked full-on alert all of the sudden.

„I don't know. No." Damon shrugged, looking at her questionably. „She said she'll see you tomorrow."

He didn't really listen what the blonde said, because he didn't care, but it obviously meant a lot to Bonnie. More than usually and that made him curious.

„Why do you ask?"

Bonnie sighed before she answered.

„I got into a fight with her today."

„Really?" he asked, kind of amused. „You've been doing that a lot lately. Getting into fights with your friends."

„Don't start." She rolled her eyes at him.

„What happened with you and Blondie? Couldn't agree on the hair conditioner?"

She sighed and looked at him frustrated like she wasn't really sure she wanted to tell him this.

„She got mad at me...for something I did."

„What did you do?" he asked, but when she hesitated on answering, he frowned. „Should I be worried?"

„I broke up with Chris." She said quickly. „And she went crazy because she wasn't ready to say goodbye." Damon raised his eyebrows in question. „She got too attached."

„ _She_ got too attached to _your_ boyfriend?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as he could saying those words.

„She can get overly dramatic." Bonnie rolled her eyes. „I think in her head, she was already picking up the centerpieces and the invitations for the wedding."

Damon chuckled, shaking his head. As much as it was a sour subject for them, he couldn't deny he was actually happy for the development of things. That guy was out of the picture and it made him relax in Bonnie's company. They fell into a comfortable silence. They just sat next to each other quiet and peaceful, soaking each other's presence in. They both missed each other very much and their stubbornness was the reason for it. Well, mostly Damon's stubbornness.

„What did he do to you?" he asked her quietly. He didn't need to say his name. He thought it would only upset her and she didn't need that tonight.

„I already told you." she whispered.

„Not the whole story, you didn't." he looked at her by the side, waiting on her to turn her head towards him. „Bonnie, you're one of the strongest people I know, and to that, one hell of a witch. I don't think a simple vampire would be a problem for you. You dropped a hybrid on his knees, faced original vampires, worlds first immortal and one of the oldest witches. And me."

„Julian's older than you. Plus, he had the element of surprise." She tried to reason with him.

„Bon." He warned her.

„He just-" she sighed and closed her eyes. „He said some stuff to me..."

„What kind of stuff?"

„Doesn't matter."

„It does if it makes you shiver in front of a stupid vampire. Tell me. What did he say to you?"

„I told him not to mess with me, you know, I had a brave face on...I wasn't afraid of him and I wanted to let him know that. But, he simplified it. He simplified me. Told me how my death wouldn't be..."

She chocked up on the words. Tears were starting to fill her eyes and she tried to blink them away.

„Wouldn't be what?" Damon urged her to continue.

„Meaningful." She said, releasing a painful breath out. She looked back at Damon and tears started to roll down her cheeks. „Or important. Sad. That nobody would actually cry, or miss me. Not a lot of people could say their death would bring a smile on other people faces." She chuckled in pain. „But, mine would."

„Bon..."

„It's stupid." She shook her head and rapidly started to wipe the tears off, feeling almost ashamed. „I know. But, he was right. And I should feel good about that, you know. Because no one would get hurt. I die, and nobody would cry."

„That's not truth.-"

„Yeah, it is. People would just say: _'It's a shame, she was so young. But, she wouldn't want us to be sad.'_ So, nobody would be."

„How can you think like that? Why would you-"

„Because it's true." She ignored his words. „I always wanted to be significant. I wanted to leave my imprint on the world so that when I die, I would not be so easily forgotten. And I guess in a way I got what I wanted. My death will be significant. It will bring back the one person, who really is missed. Everybody would just normally get back to their happy lives, not on this stupid pause time that you're on right now."

„Bonnie!"

„Don't say that it's not true!" she said, with a bit of anger in her voice. She looked at him, sitting next to her, his eyes wide open in surprise. „Damon, you of all people...you are the one who can't wait for me to take the last breath on this earth, because that will be the moment your life finally starts."

She looked down to her fidgeting hands in her lap, trying to ignore his scolding face and grunts he kept pushing out. He hated how sure of her words she was. How much resentment she thought he was holding on the inside. Yes, the situation was not pretty, true, but it didn't mean it was that ugly either.

He stood up form the bed and walked away from her, trying to get some composure, so he wouldn't strangle her on the spot. Sometimes, she really knew how to enrage him.

 _She didn't know the truth._ She didn't know and she didn't understand what it all really meant to him. She thought she was just a thorn in his side that kept annoying him and distract him from something he really wanted.

He turned back to her, with a frown on his face.

„If you really think like that, then you seriously don't know me."

She looked up at him and sighed heavily, already forming the words in her mouth, but he cut her off.

„I, of all people, wouldn't be able to move on anymore. Do you honestly think that I could have some kind of fairytale life with Elena if you died? No."

He walked back to her in angry steps, leaned down to speak to her face and she widen her eyes at his reaction.

„Because, I don't care about that, I don't care about Elena! The day that I get Elena back is the day that my life stops, Bonnie! I lose you, I don't have anything anymore! I don't care about anything more! You are my best friend, Bonnie. I don't want to ever lose you. I don't even want to think about it, because if I do, I feel like I'm gonna go insane and I don't know what I would do." He sighed and shook his head. „So, don't ever talk to me about you dying anymore."

Most of the time, Damon was bad with words. Actions were more of his thing. It wasn't necessary for him to always voice out his feelings. But this time, she needed that. She needed to hear the truth, because he was sick and tired of her trying to deny it.

She knew this already. She felt it. She was scared of it. Terrified.

Not of him, but of his words and his actions. Everything that she wanted to deny, he poured into those words to her. All his fears, dreams and wishes blurred into one. They merged into one big question that kept hanging over his head and now all he had was her. She was everything to him. She was the beginning and the end. There was no life for him outside of her.

And it made him realize he made a mistake with her. An earth shattering, stupid, idiotic mistake.

Not tonight, but that day in Spain. He took something from her, a part of her that was willing to let him in. But, he was scared of losing her forever, so he reacted stupidly. And now he wasn't sure how he was suppose to get it back.

„I should get some sleep."

Her voice startled him. Her eyes were shimmering with that fear and all she wanted to do now was deny him. And that bothered him. He wanted to tell her, to come clean, say the truth and suffer through her wrath, that he knew would come. But, in the end, she deserved it. She deserved to know the truth and he was an idiot thinking he could keep her so selfishly. With lies.

But, after everything she went through tonight, she also deserved a night of peace and sleep. So, who was he to deny that to her?

He watched her settle under the sheets, snuggling into the pillow, as he lay down on top of the covers next to her. There was no way he was letting her alone tonight. She didn't seem to mind it, or she just refused to comment it, because she feared of any more of his words.

She closed her eyes, putting her hands under her chin and letting a deep breath out. There was a light, almost undetected lift of her lips, that said she felt safe here. She felt protected and relaxed. He smiled.

„Hey, Bon." He whispered, to which she just hummed an answer, already half way into sleep.

„We got to talk about something in the morning. I... I have to tell you something you're probably not going to like and you may even want to try and kill me..." he snorted. „But, I just wanted you to know...I would never do anything to hurt you. I'll always watch out for you."

He wasn't so sure she heard him. She was silent and her breathing had changed. She looked peaceful and comfortable. And that made him sigh in relief. She was right here next to him, where she should have been all along. She was home again.

* * *

The next morning Bonnie woke up feeling fresh and relaxed. She didn't had that good night of sleep in a long time. And despite the horrible day she had yesterday, with the awful fight with Caroline and the whole situation with Julian, she felt good. She managed to get through the rough patch with Damon and everything felt right in the world now.

Maybe, last night shocked her a little, she wasn't going to deny that. Some of the things Damon said felt awfully personal and seemed to carry a lot of burden with it...but she didn't want that to scare her away. That was how everything always was with Damon. He was either too much or not enough. There was no golden mean with him. And she learned that if she wanted him in her life, she would have to take the first one. Because not enough wasn't going to cut it. She needed him with her, despite there were times she wanted to crawl out of her skin and shy away from him. Or even times, she wanted to set him on fire.

With a smile on her face, she exited the bathroom and walked back into Damon's room. He wasn't in, but she already knew where he was and what was he up to. She could smell his weaseling intentions and slowly creeping into those little spots all over her soul. That was always how he worked. He picked the smallest, tiniest little space to try and get under your skin and when he did, when he actually manage to creep in...that feeling, the warmth and endearment he gave, spread all over her like raging fire.

She smiled, feeling the smell of freshly brewed coffee, nice fluffy pancakes and some other familiar scent in the air. One she couldn't quite place, but one she knew very well.

She walked over to his dresser in search of some pants. She was still dressed in Damon's shirt and she didn't felt all that comfortable in only her panties. Especially, if Stefan was around. So, humming happily, as she rummaged through his dresser, with a vague memory that she might've left some of her clothes here. She was quite sure, she had a least some tights and shirts laying around, she just didn't know where Damon kept them.

He was a very neat and organized, that he sometimes reminded her of Caroline. They were both so well organized and sorted out when it came to the tidiness of their room. They both sometimes drove her mad with their constant nagging about her sloppiness. She chuckled to herself. Both Caroline and Damon were two obsessively compulsive personas, that always needed to know the placement of everything they possessed. Maybe that was why the two of them never could see eye to eye. He had his spot for a certain thing and she had her spot, and they couldn't simply agree to keep it in the same place.

She sighed heavily, frustrated that she wasn't able to find any of her clothes in here and she was about to close the drawer number 3, when something caught her eye.

It was small, but it was the color that brought her attention. In the sea of Damon's black clothes, she noticed the light colorful explosion in the bottom of the drawer. She lifted the shirts and took out the little piece.

The second her fingers made contact with it, a cold shiver ran through her. Her eyes burned, her mouth dried and her legs felt a wobbly mess that were going to fail her any second. She felt the bitter taste on top of her tongue and a cold knife stabbing her in the spine. The world danced around her in a fog, spinning like she was on roller costar and anytime now, she was going to fall off and hear the cruelness in the laughter around her.

The azure color reminded her of the color that she knew too well and suddenly she knew what betrayal looked like.

It was blue. Blue like the ocean. Blue like the sky. Blue like cotton candy.

Blue like his eyes.

* * *

 _ **And, finally chapter 8 is here. I know it should've been here sooner, but it was impossible to write it all out.**_

 _ **So, a quick summary: Stefan's flashforward, short, but I think you got the gist of it. Somebody captured him, while he was trying to save someone else. Any guesses on who?**_

 _ **While Bonnie found a weird crystal and found out someone had some bad intentions with her, Damon was going through his own depression stage.**_

 _ **Caroline and Bonnie had a big fight! Now, this one was big! The relationship between the two girls is something very important in this story and you will see why as we go further more. Their friendship will be put on the stand a number of times, so do you think they could survive it? We'll see!**_

 _ **Bonnie got attacked by Julian., Now, this was what I wanted you to pay attention. This is the part of the canon story I am changing, Julian's and Lilly's death. I didn't like that they killed of Lilly like that, so I got some other plans for her future. You'll find out soon.**_

 _ **And Bamon made peace with each other. Damon started to rethink his decision of what he did to Bonnie.**_

 _ **And finally, Bonnie found the missing part of the crystal among Damon's things. What could that mean?**_

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really want to hear what you think of it, so if you have time, drop a quick review at the end. Thank you!**_

 _ **Fair warning: The next chapter will be an explosive one!**_ _ **See you next time! Hopefully, sooner!**_

 _ **Soundtracks: Damien Rice - Cheers darlin'; Bishop Briggs - River; Gabrielle Aplin - Waking up slow (the piano version).**_


	9. Chapter 9 - Did you think I'd stay?

**Chapter 9 - Did you think I'd stay?**

 _Barcelona, the morning after_

 _He watched the sun rise slowly over the horizon, the mix of colors blending into one beautiful masterpiece and signalizing a start of a new day. In his entire existence, he'd seen the sunrise number of times and it was always special, but somehow those memories have blended into one. Every sunrise was the same. Nothing new about it, no matter how beautiful it was. He always seemed to forget them._

 _Yet, this time, he doubted it would be like that._

 _He could hear the sound of her breathing had changed, as well as the friction between the sheets and her naked body, as she moved around, slowly waking up. He could've done this differently. He could've picked up his clothes, that was scattered around the room, and leave without a trace, while she was still sleeping soundly. To avoid the scene of confrontation, that would surely include a lot of bad words spoken between them, shame, guilt and the inevitable heartbreak. Whose heartbreak, exactly? He wasn't sure, yet._

 _When he heard her whisper in relief 'Thank God', he turned around and left the balcony, entering into the living space, with a clear view of the bedroom, with the woman in question sitting up and tangled up in the bed sheets._

„ _I wouldn't thank him just yet." As always a smart comeback fell from his lips, as he slowly approached her, dressed only in his pants and his hands tucked into the front pockets._

 _Her eyes went wide, the look of horror covered her face, as she quickly drew the sheets up to cover her chest._

 _'As if he hadn't seen them already.' He wanted to say it out loud but chose not to._

 _As their eyes locked, there was absolute stillness. Silence hung heavily in the air, her icy stare waking up a chill in him. She was still as a statue, her body pose rigid and hard, face expressionless. He knew nothing good was going to happen, from here on. Time was just a ticking bomb._

„ _What? Nothing to say? Cat got your tongue?" he asked, his tone a bit too rude, not like he intended it to be._

„ _I kind of hoped you left." She said, diverting her eyes down to the floor. Her voice was still raspy from sleep, but softer than he expected._

„ _Well, I thought about it. But, I think I've done my share of leaving you behind without a word."_

„ _I would appreciate more if you did leave me." She stood up from the bed, holding the sheet wrapped around her body and dragging it with herself, as she made her way to the bathroom. He stopped all of her intentions when he stood in her way, not ready for her to leave this conversation, yet._

„ _We should talk about this."_

„ _We really shouldn't."_

„ _Bonnie..."_

„ _Damon...there's nothing to talk about here. Nothing happened. Okay? Nothing."_

 _He frowned in confusion. Just who was she trying to convince into this? Him or herself? Deep down, he knew it was gonna happen like this. He was fully aware of her possible reaction and that was probably the reason he felt so irritated with it. She did the same thing back in Italy when they kissed. Refused to listen to him or talk about it, and acted like it never happened. One thing was for sure. He wasn't letting her do either of that now._

„ _We slept together." He told her, making her eyes wide, glaring at him angrily, like she couldn't believe what he just said._

„ _Get out of my way." she told him slowly._

„ _You can't really deny it-"_

„ _Watch me!"_

 _Now, she was just pissing him off. He had to get real with her, if he had any intention, of drilling it to her thick skull. She tried to get passed him, but he grabbed her arms and pulled her tightly against himself._

„ _Why?! So, you would go on and prescribe this to another mistake because we are 'oh so hurting that Elena's gone' or maybe it was just another drunken escapade that we will never talk about again?" his voice was mean and his eyes were vicious, trying to provoke some sort of emotion out of her._

„ _Damon, I'm warning you." she gritted her teeth._

„ _You know as much as I do, that it wasn't either of that. It was sex. Hot, dirty, messy, orgasmic sex!"_

„ _Shut up!" she yelled, trying to free herself of his grip.  
_

„ _Admit it! You're just afraid that if you do, you're gonna want some more. Bon, so why don't you just-"_

 _Before he could get the whole sentence out, he was slammed into the wall behind him all the way into the living space. A sudden rush of pain jolted through his body, as he felt his head pounding and he struggled to breathe. The impact was hard and rough, as much as the fall down, itself. He could feel his bones cracking back in place, as he stood up and saw a raging, pissed off witch, tightening the sheet around her body and glaring back at him. Her breaths were shallow, green menacing eyes full of fury and a magic on her fingertips ready to aim and fire back at him._

„ _I told you to shut up!" She said, anger spilling out of her mouth._

„ _And if I don't?" he challenged her._

 _She grabbed a half-full bottle of vodka on the table next to her and threw it on him, but he swiftly dodged it, so it shattered on the wall behind him. He smirked in victory, increasing her anger, so she narrowed her eyes at him._

„ _Incendia!"_

 _The flames raised behind his back from the spilled contents of the bottle she just threw at him and he jumped away in horror, looking at her wide-eyed._

„ _Are you fucking insane?!" he yelled._

 _Before she could answer or somehow inflict more pain on him, he rushed over to her and pushed her against the wall, pinning her wrists above her head, holding her tightly in her place. His face went all vampire mode, trying to scare her off, his eyes bloody red, his canines showing, growling in a terrifying hunger._

„ _Calm down!" his voice was so raw against her ear, he heard her gasp in shock._

 _The fires behind them were turning down as she panted against him, her body shaking and pointlessly struggling against him. Her heated temper was all of the sudden replaced with a nervous twitch of her face and her stubborn eyes that refused to admit she was losing. Just as he thought he had her, he could feel his brain starting to scramble inside his skull. She hadn't done this on him for a long time. He hesitantly let go of her and slid down to his knees, his hands gripping the sides of his head, in a pointless attempt to ease the pain down._

 _When she finally released him, all he could hear was their desperate, matched breathing, his throat tightened and mouth dry. Still, down on his knees, he raised his head up to her._

„ _Bitch!" he practically growled at her._

 _Not a second later, she slapped him hard, his cheek burning from the surprising impact. He was so angry and raged out, he felt like the skin on his body was going to combust with flames. It was like poison raising in his blood, bitter acid eating away any sense for consequences or logic. He hated when someone belittled him like that._

 _Slowly, he turned his head back to her, blue orbs raising to hers, watching her face in shock, wide eyed, her lungs fighting for air. He could smell the hot earthy fragrance that was firing in her blood, coating her smooth skin with shiny beads of sweat. When they locked eyes again, it was unbelievable how much the air between them changed. The adrenaline rush, all that anger flying around, their tensed muscles and flushed skin. He stood up, watching her closely, their eyes never leaving each other. The tension in the room turned into something more carnal, the space between them became somehow intimate, with her hot breath against his skin and her full lips._

 _She pulled him hard against herself, not losing any time, as she thrust her tongue into his mouth and moaned like she tasted the sweetest thing in her life. Damon was lost how the situation had turned itself on him, but he didn't dwell on it. He pressed his body against hers, his hands gripping her hips. He snatched away the sheet, that was still miraculously hanging around her body, squeezing her naked hot skin with his palms._

 _He loved the feeling of her hands running along his chest and abdomen, with kisses and flicks of her tongue following her palms. She reached to the waistline of his pants, pulling the zipper and lowering them down, as he quickly stepped out of them. He kept kissing her senseless, hoisting her legs up, as she wrapped them around his waist, so he pushed her harshly against the wall and pressed his hard shaft against her thigh. Her moans became louder and heavier, as the kissing became sloppier, but rougher. Her hands gripped his hair and she pulled it, almost violently, but weirdly excitingly to him._

 _He remembered how willing and devoted she was last night, letting him do whatever he liked to her. This morning, she was the complete opposite. She kept kissing him roughly, biting his lips, all the while she scratched his skin. Her passion was urgent and dangerous. Like she wanted to remind him, she was still angry and furious at him, and she was going to show him in this way._

 _His kisses traveled down her neck, making her pant eagerly._

 _She reached down between them and wrapped her hand around him, stroking him a couple of times before she directed him to her wet folds. He slipped his hands under her ass and pushed inside of her, growled at the feeling, listening to her increasing heartbeat and hitching breaths. He started to move in and out of her in slow long motions as Bonnie gripped his shoulders, driving her nails into his skin. She was like a hurricane, she kept twisting him around, leaving bruises with her fingers and scratch marks on his skin. He was disappointed at the thought that they would heal eventually and he would be free of her imprints._

 _He kissed her lips, cheeks, chin,_ _ _neck, shoulders_ and every little spot of skin he could get to, as he started to fuck her harder and faster. His intense rhythm was making her toss her head back, screaming his name, trying to catch her breath along with him. He pinned her harder against the wall, as his hand slithered down and smoothly rubbed her clit. He felt her walls tightening around him, her thighs trembling as she squirmed and moaned in pleasure. He stopped his movements, as she came down from her high, brushing her hair off her forehead and kissing her gently. He pushed away from the wall and carried her back into the bedroom, lips sealed against hers, knowing this sunrise he was going to remember for the rest of his existence.  
_

* * *

Damon loved mornings. The perfect sunrise, the peeking of the golden sun rays through the window, the slow wakening of the new day, the clear fresh air, the explosion of the colors that shine brightly with the appearance of the first sun. A new day beginning. What made this morning even better was the fact he had Bonnie right next to him. This morning he woke up with her sleepy face being the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes. So, it was only necessary to make it even better. He knew what she loved. He knew what would put a smile on her face.

Pancakes. And not just any pancakes, but his famous vampcakes.

Stefan had left early this morning, giving Damon a chance to reconnect with Bonnie and spend the time with her, the same way he used their time stuck in 1994. and how they became friends in the first place. Having breakfast.

When he heard her walked into the kitchen, he felt a smile creeping onto his face.

„Good morning. I was begging to think you were gonna sleep in the whole day." He said flipping the pancake on the stove and wiping his hands on the dish towel that was hanging over his shoulder. He turned around and smiled mischievously at her.

„Take a seat. Breakfast will be in 2." He informed her, pointing to the breakfast table that he already had set with the plates, freshly made coffee, orange juice along with the blueberries and whipped cream. He even went that far to get her the newspapers, that were waiting opened on the page with the cross-board puzzle and a pen above it. He removed the last pancake and set it on the plate with the rest of them, as he turned off the stove and started making his way over to the table. He stopped when he noticed she was standing by the table looking at the stuff on it with a bit of confused face expression.

„Bon. Sit." He said, holding the plate of pancakes in his hands.

She raised her to look on him for a moment before it drifted off to her surroundings. He noticed something weird about her. She dressed in her jeans from last night that still was dirty and ripped out, but she left his shirt on.

„Bonnie?" he asked her, setting the pancakes onto the table, „What is it? Are you not hungry?"

She just stood there all struck and choked like she had no idea how she got here. For a moment, he thought she was feeling the repercussions of the last night's attack by Julian. He took a step closer to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

„Hey." He said, making her look into his eyes. „What is it?"

Suddenly, she jerked away from him, leaving him dumbstruck for a moment. He frowned, weirded out by her strange behavior. He watched her as she looked down at her clenched fist and raised it up slowly. She opened her palm and on it was a familiar shiny stone.

„What is this?" she asked quietly, raising her eyes to his.

For a moment, Damon thought he was gonna lose his stand. He felt a rush of cold sweat crossing through him, as he opened and closed his mouth, like a fish out of water. He sighed quietly, cleared his throat and took all the bravery he had to look into her eyes.

„Where did you find that?"

„What is this?" he heard her repeat the question a little more determination this time.

„Nothing." He shrugged. „It's just a stupid-"

„Don't lie to me."

Her eyes were so sharp, the look she carried in them was harsh and cold, and at that moment, he became aware of the consequences his actions actually held. What his wrongdoings could do to other people, the people he cared for and loved. This moment was the beginning. Beginning of losing the one person he couldn't handle losing.

„Bonnie." He said her name, with such a pained huff.

„I found the other part. It was in my stuff. I knew somebody put it there and I knew it was-..." she chocked on her words and looked away from him. „Why do _you_ have it?"

„Look, you gotta understand-" he tried to calm her down, his hands reaching for her, but she backed away from him, so abruptly, like his touch could possibly burn her.

„Why do you have it?! What did you do?!" she demanded from him, her eyes full of tears.

„I did it to protect you."

„From what? What purpose did it have?" she asked him, anger slipping from her words. He had to lower his eyes down. He wasn't able to look at her or to tell her. She must've noticed his hesitation, so she slowly took a deep breath before she continued the question.

„Damon, you'll either tell me or I'll find out by myself what was it by destroying it."

She was smart and she obviously knew what the crystal meant. Destroying it would make her remember all the parts he made her forget, and the thought terrified him, more than anything. He didn't want it to happen, the thought of losing her to his selfish and wrongdoings was the worst that could happen. He felt everything in him starting to itch and scream at him. His skin was tightening, his eyes were sandpaper dry, his hands were sweating, his head was spinning. This was what he wanted to avoid. This feeling he had, this look she gave him, everything about this situation was bad.

„I didn't- I didn't want you to know. You're a best friend, Bonnie. And I didn't want to lose you." he barely let the words out of his mouth.

„Lose me? What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice shaking.

He shook his head, took a step closer and look her straight in the eyes.

„I thought if I could just somehow...if we acted like it didn't happen...if I could erase it somehow...you'd never know and-"

„Know what?!" she cut him off so angry, he actually winced at her tone. „Damon, know what?!"

He just closed his eyes and sigh in pain. How was he suppose to say this to her? It wasn't possible. He didn't know how, he didn't want to hurt her more than he already did. But her hatred was something he couldn't bear the thought of.

She turned away from him, pacing around the kitchen, looking into the floor and rubbing her face frustrated with him and his inability to speak. She was aware something was wrong here, that he has done something so wrong and bad, he couldn't even voice it out. It scared her. He could feel it in the air. She was all over the place. There was so much anger, so much confusion, so much fear and bitterness around her. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, how was he supposed to calm her or stop her from doing something they both would regret.

He watched her, as she stopped pacing, her head slowly raising up, and her heavy breathing turning into one harsh gasp.

„Spain." she whispered. „It's Spain..." she slowly turned to face him, „Isn't it?"

He tried saying something, anything, but he couldn't find the words.

„What did you do?" she asked him, her voice breaking at the thought of how he betrayed her trust.

„It's not what _I_ did..." he mumbled, not even sure if she could hear him.

„Then...wha-? she started to ask the question, but stopped abruptly and marched over to the kitchen island, setting the piece of the crystal on the surface and using a heavy wooden cutting board to harshly shatter it.

„Bonnie, NO!"

He was too late. The loud crunching noise was heard and it was like every one of those hard heavy emotions she carried around, had suddenly disappeared. He couldn't feel anything from her. She just stood there, holding tightly the cutting board, pressing the shattered crystal under it and looking straight ahead. He watched her, slowly raise the board, as she observed the tiny pieces smashed around the hard surface of the kitchen countertop. He heard her swallow hard as, he stood there, not moving, frozen in his stand, like he was scared to do or say anything. And he was.

He waited patiently, as she slowly turned her head and raised her eyes to his. She never looked at him like that. Not even before they were friends. Before they started to care about each other. Before they started to fight like crazy for each other. Before she started to look at him with adoration and tenderness like he was the only source of happiness and hope in her life. For a while there he was, back in 1994.

Now, she looked at him like he was a stranger. Not even an enemy, but like he was nobody and nothing to her. It cut him like a knife was being turned in his chest. Massacring his insides and turning them in nothing.

„Bonnie..."

She clenched her jaw and gritted her teeth before she turned away and ran out of the room.

„Bonnie! Let me explain! Bonnie! Bon!" he followed her, but she already scampered out of the house and into her car. He could outrun her, he could come up with her and stop her, but the truth was, he had no idea what he would say to her. So, he just stood at the entrance of the house and watched her drove away, leaving only dust in her traces.

* * *

It came back in flashes.

 _Ecstasy._

 _Rapture._

 _Delight._

The memories blinded her vision, as she struggled her way to where she was walking.

 _Feeling that carnal desire, hot, turbulent blood rushing through her veins, blurring her perfect vision. It was like her whole body transformed into another universe, beyond any reason or self-control._

 _State of overwhelming trance._

She couldn't stop them. The images kept creeping their way into her mind, along with the rush of the compelling senses she just couldn't ignore.

 _Pushing. Pulling. Craving. Demanding. Wanting._

And as much as she wanted and intended to forbid herself from seeing them and feeling them, she knew there was no way to do so. She had to let it all come back to her, at once, or she wouldn't be able to breathe steadily. So, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let the memories of her night with Damon overwhelm her.

 _All kind of emotions rapidly attacking her, driving her moves forward, as she felt the soft fabric of the sheets caressing her back, laying her hungry body down on the mattress, rough hands grazing her hot skin with sharpness. Nothing like anything she ever felt. Magic tingling in the air, small droplets of sweat grazing their skin like shiny little pearls, mixing, exchanging, loving. Harsh lips against her long neck, teeth grazing the delicate skin, almost tainting it with her own blood, tongue eager to taste her like bliss. Moving her mind, body, and soul away, the world slowly vanishing in the ocean eyes of her lover, brushing her fingers in his dark, thick hair._

 _His rigid body covering hers like a blanket, feeling his warm breath on the side of her head, tickling her ear and neck, jolts of energy crashing among them, as they join together, like two puzzle pieces that seem to fit perfectly together. She felt helpless and free, enjoying his athletically carved body and his earthy scent of burned wood, mixed with the sweetness of honey, as he drove them in a perfect sync motion, fogging her brain and finding the limits and restraints that she never before let herself crossover._

 _And just moments before she burst like an erupting volcano, she felt a sharp pain burning through her neck, her vigor being drained from her body, forcing that sweet expecting release in the pit of her stomach, curling her toes and clawing her fingernails in his broad back._

Her eyes flew open. She looked around herself, trying to regain her self-awareness. The air was cold here and there was a damp smell around, from the old yellow and brown leaves that covered the ground.

She started walking again.

It was so silent, the usual bird song couldn't be heard, only the stomping of her feet over the soggy ground and occasional twigs snapping, along with it. The woods were usually the place where she went to when she wanted to find calm. It eased her spirit and made her come closer in contact with nature, which fueled her magic. It was always good and positive.

But, not this time.

She felt such fury inside of her, she thought she was gonna go insane. She had to get out of town, away from the people, away from everyone who might find themselves in her way. Because, despite her lucidity and usual awareness of the situation, she was well aware of her ability to hurt someone, when in pain. And she was in pain right now. She was blinded by her rage and unable to think clearly. She had tension in her muscles and a bitter taste in her mouth, that only made her hungry for vengeance. So many years of bottling up that anger, that pain and destruction were sunk deep in her head. She was always the one who did things right, who took care of the mess when there was one, who smiled instead of cried, who stood at the side, while everybody else took the spotlight. She always held herself back, for as long as she could...and now it was slowly eating her away.

Swallowing down her problems and issues didn't make them go away. If anything, it just made them come out more vigorously and with much more potent to destroy everything in its way. For so long she tried to listen to all of those around her, watched them as they gave into their secret desires and satisfy their appetites for chaos. While she ran in the opposite direction, trying to desperately escape that feeling.

She decided it was time to stop running.

She unclenched her fist, to let go of the tension she held so tightly on and she let the fire that was burning on the inside to come out and play. She let the heat out, scorching everything in its way. Usually, she started small, but this time she exploded like a bomb.

The flames caught up the wooden trunks, spreading to the branches and going way up high to it's ends.

She watched the yellow and red blaze dancing uncontrollably in front of her eyes. She could feel the ashes that were slowly drifting to the ground and despite the heat it radiated with, she felt her skin getting colder and colder. She felt the anger that was inside of her, coming out and she let it emerged from her in shape of the fire. She let it posses her, allowed the darkness to come in just for a little while. As her skin got drier and greyer, ironically she felt more alive than ever. She opened her eyes wide and her lips stretched in a devilish smile, as she observed her power growing up. Half of the trees were up in flames.

It looked destructive. And horrible. But beautiful.

She loved how the contrast of her skin streaked with dark grey veins looked in the comparison to the ardent tones the fire held.

She closed her fists and the flames disappeared.

She fell down to her knees, breathing heavily, her lungs slightly whizzing from the lack of air. She could feel her skin growing warmer and regaining her natural color back, as she felt that anger evaporate. It was like the wind blew it away, a light breeze that swiped it of-of her. She felt the tears burning at the corners of her eyes, as the tightness in her chest let her go and made her breathe normally again.

Suddenly she felt shame for what she did, how easily she let that part of her come out. She never went that far. There was only a couple of times where she drew her power from that sick, dark place. That magic was twisted and she knew very well not to mess with it. She blinked down the tears, that streamed down her cheeks and lost herself in sobs and cries, kneeling down on the ground, hating herself for going that far. Nothing in her life had ever came easy. It was always tiresome and difficult, painful and gut-wrenching.

She felt a shift in the air. Bonnie stopped her sobs and looking around, she listened carefully. Someone was near. There was some unpleasant energy in the woods, near her, the kind of energy that indicated death and pain. A vampire. She stood up from the ground and turned around.

Her green orbs connected with cerulean ones. Suddenly she forgot how to breathe.

 _He had her eyes._ It was the first thing that came into her mind.

She used to find that color of the eyes the most honest and genuine sight in the world, in which she found familiarity and closeness, despite the icy tone they seemed to spark with. Now, she could only describe them as sickeningly blue. But, it wasn't just the eyes he had in common with her. It was the way they looked at the world around them. With such aversion and hostility, it reminded her of the old Damon, the one that almost ended her life, by ripping into her neck in this same woods, all those years ago.

The woman slowly approached her, with such carefulness and alert, like she was a lioness hunting down a baby dear. Only thing was, she didn't exactly know who was the prey and who was the predator.

„Are you alright, Mrs. Bennett?" she asked her, as she came to a stop in an adequate distance from the witch.

Bonnie hesitantly nodded, raising her chin in defiance, but that couldn't mask her red tearful eyes and the look of horror and liability of everything around her. She watched as the vampire looked around them, noticing the fuming branches and trees, half of the woods destroyed with an aggressive fire of which remained only ashes and a dimly smoke.

Lilly looked back at her and took a few steps closer, taking a deep breath before she extended a hand towards Bonnie.

„Come with me. I think it's time the two of us, finally, have a conversation."

* * *

„Where is she?" he asked entering the girl's dorm room without knocking and interrupting Stefan and Caroline in what seemed like anxious conversation.

His brother was standing by the bed, his arms crossed under his chest and a composed face expression. His blonde girlfriend sat indian style at the bottom of her bed, her hands fidgeting nervously and tears glistening in her eyes. Maybe some other day he would be interested in why were they so weirded out, but not today. He was on the mission. A mission to find Bonnie.

„Damon, we're kind of in the middle of something." His brother told him grimly.

„I don't care. I don't care for you teenage relationship angst right now. I need to find Bonnie! Now!" he said frowning, each sentence getting louder and angrier.

„Bonnie? She's not here." Caroline said confused.

He looked around the room like he was looking for clues. He didn't know where to look anymore. He searched for her all over their hometown, her house, her Grams house, the cemetery, the Grill, Matt's house, the police station. Finally, he decided to visit Whitmore, thinking she must've headed back. Apparently, he was wrong.

„Wasn't she suppose to be with you?" Stefan asked.

Damon only looked over his brother, with widening eyes and closed mouth, which Stefan, of course, knew how to read.

„What did you do? What happened?" he asked him alarmed.

„I need to find her." Damon just said.

„Damon..."

„Is something wrong with Bonnie?" Caroline asked frowning.

„She was at our house this morning when I left, she was still sleeping." Stefan answered Caroline, before looking back at his brother. „What the hell happened?"

„I don't know." Damon said angrily. „Yes, she was there this morning and...then she left. And I don't know where."

„You don't think...Julian?" Stefan asked worriedly.

„Julian? What about Julian?" Caroline was confused.

In all honesty, Damon didn't want to think about Julian. He was pretty sure Bonnie wouldn't go after Julian all by herself, not without backup. The guy was twice his and Stefan's age and it would be suicide to go against him alone. Bonnie would never do something like that, no matter how mad she was.

And then, an idea popped to his mind.

„Of course. Julian..." he mumbled, as he turned around. „I gotta go!"

„Wait, Damon!" Stefan called after him.

„Call her, get to her, somehow, anyhow! Make sure she's safe! Just get to her!" Damon yelled to them, as he held the doorknob in his hand.

„Where are you going?"

„To do what I was supposed to do last night." He said finally, before leaving the room.

* * *

When your current enemy unites with your previous enemy, you know the balance of the world must be disrupted. Things could only get worse from then on.

Dramatics aside, Valerie didn't see Lilly as her enemy, but the woman was associated with the worst person that existed on the planet. Julian. Lilly took his side, so that meant she wasn't on Valerie's because she could never take the same side as that man. She still saw Lilly as her mother, but as one that betrayed her, that rather trusted a monster than her.

As for Bonnie Bennett, the witch was an enemy when they first came back from a prison world. Now, she could see her as an alley, at best. She seemed a smart, level-headed witch that even befriended Nora somehow. Still, Valerie always had a feeling she underestimated Bonnie, just like the rest of them. There was always something about her that seemed different like there was an edge to the Bennett witch. One that was very hard to cross, but once it was done, hell would rise. She could only hope that it wouldn't backfire at them.

And now, Valerie knew something was going wrong. She didn't like what was happening or what she was seeing. When Stefan called her to tell her his stupid brother had taken upon himself to go all alone against Julian, she was furious. She wanted a part in Julian's killing. And so did Stefan. So, they needed to find Julian and Damon, before something worse happened.

She entered the Boarding house, without knocking, where the rest of the heretic family resided and came upon a curious scene happening in the living room.

Lilly Salvatore was having tea with Bonnie Bennett.

They were both sitting on the couch next to each other, with a silver tray and a vintage egg-shell china tea set on the table in front of them. Around the room wafted the pleasant smell of herbal rose tea and freshly baked ginger biscuits. They seemed to be in a middle of a pleasant conversation like they were some old friends. They both raised their heads in confusion towards her when they heard her stepping into the house.

„Valerie." Lilly stood up from her seat and turned to face her, while Bonnie remained quiet behind her in her place.

„Hello, Lilly." She managed to smile lightly. Despite the feud between them, she still considered the redhead woman a family.

„To what do I owe this visit of yours?"

Valarie frowned. She wasn't used to being so formal to Lilly. It felt so cold, hearing those words in that tone from her. Like they were strangers. It seemed unbelievable how loyal Lilly was to Julian, she was even prepared to turn her back on anybody who was against that man. The blonde's eyes diverted on the woman behind Lilly's back.

„What is going on here?" she asked them.

Lilly looked down at the table and all the items that were there, as well as the witch behind her back. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head back to the heretic and shrugged.

„Nothing that should concern you." the redhead answered.

„I'm looking for Julian. Where is he?" Valerie decided to get to the point, trying to ignore the red light that was burning in her mind.

„You must be insane if you think I would give you the answer to that question." Lilly said coldly.

„If you want your precious boyfriend to stay alive, I suggest you do answer it." She told her, taking one step closer.

Lilly laughed maliciously.

„Am I suppose to believe that you are trying to preserve his well being?"

„Yes, you are."

„I don't believe you changed your mind about wanting him dead. I'm not that ignorant."

„Good. Because I haven't changed my intentions. I do want him dead. But, I want to be the one who will drive a stake through his cold heart. Not someone else." She said, her eyes falling on the Bennett witch.

Bonnie stood up from her seat, a little stunned, reading something from Valerie's words.

„What is that suppose to mean?" Lilly asked.

„What's going on, Valerie?" Bonnie intervened.

„What do you think?" she snickered. „What always happens. Stefan and I manage to make a plan, but his brainless brother manages to screw everything up."

„What are you saying?" Bonnie frowned, as Valarie sighed, looking back at Lilly.

„I'm saying, if you don't tell me where Julian is, you're gonna have to prepare for a funeral to either bury the love of your life, Julian, or your eldest son, Damon."

* * *

He growled painfully, as he fell down on the ground and rolled to lay on his back. His face was bruised up and bloody, despite the fast healing. Julian had a killer lefty. Now, if Damon was smart, he would already gave up and threw the white towel in, but his recent actions and decisions haven't proven to be the smartest ones, so he guessed he wasn't either. He let the other vampire pull him up from the ground, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, as he spun him around and tossed him against the nearest tree like a rag doll. The older vampire smiled viciously, watching him cough up like he was some stupid, pathetic human, who couldn't even take a couple of punches.

So, maybe, he was playing this a bit stupid. If he was really smart, he would at least brought some weapons with him, like a stake, or a crossbow, or vervain. Anything, that would've given him a bit of an advantage against this guy. But, he was so keen on getting what he wanted, that he didn't even stop to think this through. As always.

„You had enough?" he heard Julian ask him.

He managed to stand up straight, leaning against the tree trunk, trying to catch his breath, just as he saw Julian, coming at him with a fat branch and shoving it through his stomach.

„AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Damon growled in pain, his screams echoing through the woods. Julian took a step back, laughing and clearly enjoying kicking his ass.

Gritting his teeth together, he managed to pull the wooden makeshift weapon out of his body, letting his inside organs the ability to heal. He tossed the bloody branch to the ground and stepped forward, giving Julian a look that told him, he wasn't done yet.

„You're a bit of a masochist, aren't you?" Julian asked, watching him closely. He shrugged, as he grabbed a couple of other twigs of the ground and using vampire speed to drive them through Damon's left thigh, right forearm, and shoulder.

While the blue-eyed vampire was busy, screaming in pain, Julian backed him up, once again, against the same tree and hammering one last twig in his neck.

„And for the grand finale..." Julian said, looking around and grabbing a thick short piece of branch and turning to face Damon again. He smiled with that stupid devil smile of his, as he slowly walked over to him.

But, just as there was one step separating them, suddenly, Julian stopped, shocked, looking around himself with wide eyes, like he lost his mind. Damon wasn't sure what was happening. The man kept turning around himself, with a makeshift stake pressed tightly in his hand, ready to aim at anything around him.

„What are you doing?" Damon asked him confused, still trying to catch his breath. „What are you insane?"

„I could ask you the same thing." He heard her voice from behind him.

He turned around, looking wide-eyed at her silhouette, standing a few steps away from him, her arms crossed under her chest, a look of defiance on her face. She was dressed in different clothes, some black pants, white peplum top and a black blazer. The clothes that didn't really seem to be her style, but he didn't question it.

„Bon." He almost smiled, but he managed not to. Still, his face showed an amount of relief upon seeing her.

„What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she yelled at him, furious.

He looked behind him, seeing Julian was starting to leave in a hurry, still looking confused.

„You cloaked me." It wasn't a question.

„Of course, I did, you stupid moron! If I haven't, you would be dead right now!"

„I thought you would want this guy to pay for what he did to you." he said, like it was the only explanation.

„Is that it? God! Damon, you can be really dull sometimes!" she shrieked in annoyance. „Just do me a favor. Next time you go after an ancient old vampire and try to get yourself killed, don't do it on my account!" she said with finality and turned around, leaving him behind.

„Wait! Where are you going?" he yelled after her, starting to follow her, but not before wincing in pain over the battle wounds he just earned himself.

„What do you think? As far as possible away from you! So please stop following me, before I do something I might regret!" she said without stopping.

„Like what?"

„Like setting you on fire!" she screamed angrily, turning around to face him with fury in her eyes. „Like driving a stake through your heart! Like beheading you on the spot! Need any more suggestions? I would hate, that I just saved your ungrateful stupid idiotic ass just to kill you all by myself!"

„Well, not that idiotic. My plan did work, after all." He shrugged, with that conniving smirk of his.

„What plan?" she asked confused.

„You're here." He said tilting his head and smiling in victory.

Suddenly, Bonnie's eyes glittered with awareness. It dawned on her, the brilliantness of his plan, that cunning scheme he always knew how to play with.

„You tricked me."

„I knew you didn't want to see me and I knew there was no way I could get to you, unless you wanted me to, so...I made sure you would get to me."

„So, you willingly handed yourself over to a vampire that wants you dead, because you expected me to come and save you from him?" she asked him, that anger once again sipping into her words.

„Not expected!" he said. „Hoped. I have no business expect anything from you, after what happened this morning."

„Well, it's a good thing you are so aware of the situation!" she told him, before turning once again and intending to leave him behind.

„Bonnie..." he stopped her with a hand wrapped around her elbow, which she furiously snatched away from him. She stood her straight, took a brave step forward and watched him in the eye.

„I can't believe, even after all...I should believe, I should expect something like that from you, but I just...I can't! You do a wrong thing and instead of trying to make it better, you go and do another wrong thing! You trick me into helping you, just so you can...what? Gloat? Mock me? Screw with my mind again!?"

„Talk to you!" he yelled.

„I don't want to talk!"

„Bonnie, you can't act like nothing happened!" he tried to make her listen to him. That really was all he needed. If he could tell her, explain it to her, maybe she would understand. „We should-"

„I am not acting like nothing happened! I know what happened!" she yelled with such rage in her voice, he abruptly closed his mouth. „I am fully aware of the situation and I know exactly where I stand in it! You and I are done! I am done with you! I gave you too many second chances and opportunities, because I believed you would act differently the next time! That you would learn something. But, you didn't! You always screwed it up! You always ruined everything! And now, you ruined me. I don't want to talk to you, Damon, because I know what you're gonna say. And I'm tired. I am so tired of listening to your fake apologies and promises how next time you'll do differently. You won't. So, I have to remove you from my life. And there is absolutely nothing you can do anymore that can change my decision."

Damon could feel the tightness in his chest, the nausea in his stomach and cold sweat that covered his palms. He didn't wanted this to happen. This was exactly the thing he wanted to avoid, this was the reason he made the decision to keep things from Bonnie, because he feared this could happen.

„Bon, I-I... know that I screwed up." He hated how his voice shook as he talked. It was unbecoming of the vampire he was suppose to be. „But...I didn't want you to feel bad, or to ruin this thing you and I have."

„What we had." She corrected him.

„You can't just erase our entire relationship-"

„Yes, I can. I can! Just like you did!"

„I knew you would feel guilty and bad about what happened in Spain, and with everything else going on, I didn't want you to...feel worse." He talked with obvious desperation, it pained Bonnie to hear it, but she ignored it the best she could.

She took a deep breath, before saying the next words.

„Damon...what happened in Spain...I could've handled that. I could. But, what you did-"

„Oh, bull!" he exploded suddenly, looking angry. „You couldn't handle it and you know it! You remembered _all_ the events from Spain, Bon, I know you do!"

She swallowed hard, as her eyes widened, but he continued to talk.

„And, yeah, I did screw things up, but you know what? Call me crazy, but if a girl that I just spent the night with, tries to fry my ass in the morning and kill me, I'm gonna go to some extremes, to make sure it doesn't happen again!"

He was trying to to turn the tables on her. He was trying to shut her into silence, thinking maybe her shame or guilt would manag to do what he couldn't. Put the emphasis on the events that happened between the two of them, instead of what he did by himself. She wouldn't let him. Everybody else might've be easily manipulated by him, but she wasn't going to be one of them.

„Yeah, so I did try to kill you." she shrugged. „But, that wasn't the only thing that happened that morning, Damon, so, don't use it as an excuse."

He looked at her dumbfounded, as she took a step back from him and her eyes accumulated with fresh tears, she was too stubborn to let them fall in front of him.

„ _That_ didn't hurt me. What you did afterwards..." she took a deep breath before continuing. „I trusted you, more than anyone in this world. And you had the audacity to play like that with me."

„I didn't mean-"

„You violated my mind! You played with my sanity like it was nothing! You took away my decisions, my ability to make choices, have opinions and made them be more suitable for you."

„No, that's not-" he tried to deny it, reaching for her, but she backed away again.

A tear finally dropped down her cheek.

„You hurt me." she started crying. „Of all the people that I come to know, no one has ever come that close to me, where they could see all my deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts. No one has to ever know me like that. Because there weren't lies. Between us, we never lied to each other. We were honest, despite the fact that the truth could've possibly killed us...it didn't matter. We always said the truth. Or at least, I thought we did. I guess I couldn't be more wrong. You used everything you know about me, against me and hurt me...like no one has ever done that to me. I'm never gonna forgive you for that, Damon. Never."

She turned around and left. This time he didn't try to stop her.

* * *

Truth could be a terrible thing. Where there is honesty, then there is nothing else left. No secrets, no lies, meant nothing else left to say. Truth has too much power over their lives. They let it rule them out, claiming to be the better thing, but in reality, with some people, there is no other way to coexist than in a lie. When you're not honest, not truthful to yourself and others, the whole world is at your disposal. You have more friends than ever. The moment, you revel the truth, you lose all of it. Everybody evaporate around you. All you have left are the people who knew you before the lies had started in the first place.

 **T** **he Lockwood mansion**

Damon entered the living room and sat down next to his brother, that was watching the fire crackling in the fireplace. He took a sip of bourbon straight from the bottle, because there really was no need to use the glass. Wordlessly, he offered it to his little brother and he took it, following Damon's move and angled the bottle up, taking a voracious gulp of the drink.

„You ever think we should've left town when we first intended to?"

Stefan looked at his brother, contemplating on the question.

„Sure. More often than you think." He said earnestly.

Damon nodded confirming his brother's answer before excepting the bottle back in his hands. He took another sip and they fell into another silence.

If they both left Mystic Falls, years ago, when they first came around and failed in their attempts, Stefan with Elena and Damon trying to get Emily's crystal, maybe things would be better. The question would be what would happened to everybody else in this town, namely, the people they cared about, but there was also a silver lining in it. They wouldn't knew them enough to care.

„Are you gonna tell me what happened with Bonnie?" Stefan asked his brother, after about a half an hour that they were sitting in the living room, next to each other, just passing the bottle between them. There were no words between them, only their depressed faces set straight at the crackling fire.

Damon slowly lowered the bottle down from his lips, as he took a dumbstruck look over Stefan, who looked back at him flatly.

„Are you gonna tell me what happened with Caroline?" Damon backfired the question on him.

Stefan pursed his lips and looked back at the fireplace, while Damon nodded his head and took another gulp of bourbon before passing it on to his brother.

 **Whitmore college**

It was dark and almost after 10 p.m. when Bonnie got to her dorm room. She opened the door and came to a stop.

She wasn't that surprised at Caroline being there, as much as she was apprehensive of it. Bonnie had no energy for another argument or a fight. Today, she felt like her life fell apart. Things that she came to know, that she considered certain and anchored, were not like that at all. Everything was a lie. But, if this was another one of things like that, if her friendship with Caroline was bound to fall apart too, it was better to find out now, than later. It was easier to fall apart instantly, then gradually.

She closed the door behind her and slowly walked over to the bed her best friend was sitting on. She sat down and observed the blonde for a moment. Her usually perky, bubbly personality was subdued and she looked a little nervous. She was fidgeting her long fingers in her lap and looking straightforward. Bonnie could feel the anxiety and somber mood that was radiating from her friend and she welcomed it, because it was fitting to hers.

„Hey." She finally said gloomy, after a good period of silence.

„Hi." The blonde answered with equal amount of enthusiasm.

„You okay?"

„No. You?"

„No." Bonnie shook her head.

„Wanna take about it?"

„No. You?"

„No." Caroline shook her head.

„I'm sorry I yelled at you." Bonnie finally told to Caroline, as they sat on the bed in silence.

The blonde tilted her head to the side and looked at her friend sympathetically. Her blue eyes looked a little red and puffy, just like Bonnie's green ones, but neither of them commentated on it.

„I'm sorry, too." Caroline sighed. „For trying to meddle in your own life and decisions. That was wrong of me."

„No, you weren't wrong." Bonnie said, like she was just realizing it.

„I wasn't?"

Bonnie's eyes filled up with tears again, for the hundred time today. She smiled timidly to her friend.

„You meddled because you cared. You tried talking sense to me because you want me to be happy and well, and I turned it into something else."

„I wanted to inflict my choice for you on you. That was wrong." Caroline shook her head.

„Because you care about me." Bonnie said with certainty.

„I do. So much." The blonde blinked rapidly, as tears started to fall down her face. „I hate fighting with you."

They embraced each other, tightly holding one another, as they both sobbed and expressed their mushy feelings out on the open.

„I hate it, too." Bonnie mumbled against the blonde's shoulder.

It was like a bad soap opera moment. But, they both were so overwhelmed by today's events, they had to fall apart somewhere and somehow. As they separated, Caroline too a deep, agitated breath before speaking again.

„So, can we promise each other not to do that again?" She tilted her head and grabbed a hold of Bonnie's hands into a tight grip. „Because, I love you so much, Bonnie and not having you around and knowing you're mad at me, hurts so damn much, I don't ever want to do it again. Tell me we won't fight anymore. Promise me we won't let anything come between us again. Promise me, no more lies and no more secrets."

As much as she wanted to promise her that, Bonnie couldn't. How could she tell her no more lies and no more secrets, when she carried around a big one right now. She couldn't tell Caroline about Damon, because it meant admitting everything that ever happened. And she didn't wanted to deal with Caroline's reaction, because she didn't even knew herself how to react on it. First, she had to find a way to deal with herself and all she did, come to peace with her actions and the absence of a big part of her life. She didn't want to admit how much she missed him already and how much it pained her and irritated her that she did.

She looked down at their joined hands and smiled sadly to her friend.

„I don't know if I can promise you that. It's kind of hard, seeing as we live these secret kind of lives."

Caroline's face fell down. She sighed heavily, but nodded her head regardless.

„Okay, then. Promise me than, that we won't have secrets or lies that directly involve each other."

„Deal."

„Good."

They smiled to each other, but the smiles fell down instantly. They both had conflicted face expressions, that were struggling to keep the smile on, but it was pointless.

„You want to talk about it now?" Bonnie asked.

„Nope. You?" Caroline shook her head.

„No."

They both turned their heads forward, simultaneously. Once again they fell into silence. Heavier than before, because they both had secrets they wanted to hide, even though they just promised not to hold any from each other. Bonnie thought well about how she could break it. She didn't want it to be like this. Secrets destroyed the friendship she had with Damon and she didn't want to lose Caroline, too. Something had to be done about it. So, she took a deep breath and decided to drop the bomb.

„I slept wit-"

„I'm pregnant." She heard Caroline blurt out, cutting off her own confession and shutting her down into silence. With a shocked face expression, she turned her head towards her vampire friend as her eyes widened and her jaw fell open.

„Haa?"

* * *

 _ **Finally, I am back with a new chapter. I know it should have been sooner, but life got in the way. Anyway, this turned out a lot longer than I expected and it's becoming a problem for me. I have so many ideas for this timeline, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to postpone 'the going into the future' part. Not by much, but I think we have another two or three max chapter in this one, before we move five years later.**_

 _ **I hope you liked this one. There was so many angst and bad feelings around this one, but I think it sets the mood for what's to come. Both Bamon and Steroline are in a conflict, so essentially Baroline and Defan came into play. There was no flashforward, instead I put in a flashback of another steamy Bamon moment from Spain. I hope you enjoyed it. Bonnie using dark magic in a moment of rage, Caroline's pregnancy, and also, Bonnie and Lilly drinking tea? What's that about?**_

 _ **A lot is going to happen in the next few chapters as we dive into what's left of this timeline, so get ready for a wild ride. And when we go into the future it's only gonna get more insane.**_

 _ **Soundtracks: Michael Malarkey - Scars; Florence+The Machine - What Kind Of Man; Gabrielle Aplin - Stay (piano version).  
**_

 _ ****Also... A while back I got a review from someone who asked about the quotation marks, why they are upside down. So, for those who don't know, upside down**_ _ ** _ **are European**_ quotation marks. Since I'm from Europe, it's automatically set in my Word document, in which I write the stories in, and then I just upload the file on fanfiction. I'm sorry if it confuses you. I can change it in the settings so they can be up only, but I am not going to do that, because I still write papers for college and I don't want to accidentally forget to change it back. I hope you you understand.****_


	10. Chapter 10 - Somewhere only we know

**Chapter 10 - Somewhere only we know  
**

 _5 years later_

 _Reality was a hard punch in the gut for Enzo. He liked to think The Armory was his way of finding his place in the world, being a part of something that had some cause, some point in all of it._

 _Oh, how wrong he was. He never knew he could be that wrong. He never imagined that it was just a silly, little part of something so much bigger and most of all gruesome field of the world._ _He got sick when he first saw and understood what was actually hidden behind those doors. But, the real wake-up call happened just a few weeks ago, whe he stumbled onto the last person he ever expected in there. When he saw those eyes, full of torment and sadness, lifeless like never before, his stomach turned around on itself. In the past,_ _he never really gave much thought of her existence, but now it was the only thing in his mind._

 _He was reminded of the times he was trapped in the Augustine prison, where he was sliced and diced, day in and day out. When all the days just melt into one, when you got nothing to fight for, nothing to wake up in the morning again, no future and no purpose. No one should ever go through something like that. And he wouldn't let it. So, he had to give her a purpose. A reason to move on, to live for something, to exist in this cruel world that they were living in._

 _He wanted to be her savior, her prince in shining armor, the only one who could ever deserve her respect. No matter the old friends, boyfriends or family she used to have._

 _And weirdly enough, that was how he had found his purpose with her. He knew that from the moment he laid his eyes on her in that rotten, horrifying place, she was going to become the reason for his existence. And it was becoming more and more clearer how._

 _He heard the door open from behind him, while he was sorting out the new clothes he got for her, in a motel room, in a state miles away from where he pulled her out of. When she emerged from the bathroom, he was stricken with her appearance. He felt his very dead heart come alive again._

 _She was a vision. Her honey blonde hair was still slightly wet, falling over her skin, that seemed to glow, with tiny sparkles of gold cascaded all over her frame. She had a single towel around herself, the clear white of it, making a beautiful contrast against her sun-kissed skin complexion._

 _There was a time he thought he couldn't be more in love with a different kind of woman. But, Lilly Salvatore had nothing on her. She could never even come close to what this woman was. An exceptional, stunning, out-of-this-world, absolute fantasy. No man could never stay indifferent to her._

 _He couldn't muster up a word out, because all of the sudden, she was kissing him, her hands tightly gripping his neck, almost afraid if she held him any lighter he might vanish like all her mirages use to. Her lips were hard against his, not so demanding, but pleading, begging him to give her a way out. She tasted so sweet and bitter at the same time, glorious like a woman she used to be and broken like a monster she had become._

 _He stopped her, backed away from her lips, with a warning written on his face. She shouldn't do this, because if she did, he was quite sure, he wouldn't be able to stop at just kissing her and that was a dangerous path for them to cross. But, the look in her eyes was knowing, more than anything, aware of the consequences it would bring along. And she wasn't afraid of it, that was the last thing right now that feared her._

 _There were so much more, so much bigger concerns, that terrified her beyond measurable. Her body was aching and swelling with all her emotions like it was too small to hold all of them in. He could feel them, on top of her burning skin. They were wafting, sizzling from her. She needed an outing, an escape, something that could help her forget, or at least calm her senses, that were becoming more and more aware of what now expected her._

 _So, he gave in. He caved in, pushing their lips together in a searing kiss, one much deeper, much rougher than the first one. They were only teeth, biting, stinging, tearing at each other, trying to hold on to the last straw of life she felt. Closeness to someone, feeling someone's caress on her skin, someone worshiping her like she always deserved._

 _She clawed at his skin, pushing his shirt off of his body, nails digging harshly at the surface, her breaths sharp and shallow, almost whimpering in his ear. She got rid of his pants and when the towel fell off of her, there was a pause in her stand. She stopped kissing him, touching him, she just observed him head to toe, and he never felt more ashamed in his life. Because he knew that look in her eyes, he saw it and even though he wanted to get rid of it the fastest he could, he wasn't able to. He wasn't what she wanted, he wasn't why she wanted this, he wasn't who she wanted._

 _But, she closed her eyes and with a single tear falling down her cheek she kissed him and dived in. Enzo was highly aware she was imagining someone else instead of him, mistaking his fair skin for a much paler, rougher one, envisioning his square face as a diamond much sharper one, feeling his short hair under her fingers, dreaming of brushing them in a longer, thicker hair._

 _And worst of all, he was happy to do that for her. He felt honored to be just a piece, an object that had no other purpose than to replace the one who still held her heart even after all these years, even after all that happened and all he did to her. She was still, in her soul, loyal to him, no matter what._

 _How sad it was, that that was where Enzo had found his whole purpose for existence._

* * *

Since he became a vampire, Enzo had found himself in a number of old houses that seemed to held some secret societies and associations that dealt with either _wannabe_ supernatural entities or real supernatural existence. Mostly, they were the former. However, there were times that it appeared to be the real thing. Like the Augustine's. Or, as it seemed right now, this place Julian just brought him to.

The place was enormous. It was the size of a small village and situated on the isolated ground far away from Mystic Falls. It resembled some sort of old castle, with antique furniture, real hardwood floor and long hallways in which you could easily get lost. But what fascinated him the most were the artifacts that were on display. Bone daggers, angel swords, a bunch of mystical relics and weapons.

„What do you think?" he heard Julian from behind his back.

„Am I suppose to have an opinion on this old rustic place?" he said with a bored face, not wanting to show any real interest to him.

„Well, no." Julian chuckled. „But, let me ask you something. What are your plans? What do you plan do to, where to go, in the future? You surely don't plan to stay in Mystic Falls, do you, Lorenzo? It would be stupid to stay when the woman that is keeping you alive will be gone soon? Because let's be honest, Lilly is the only reason her sons have not yet driven a stake to your heart."

Enzo turned around to face the other vampire with a skeptic look. What exactly was he saying? He watched him from head to toe, trying to read his intentions. He didn't trust him and he didn't like him, but Lilly cared a great deal about this guy, so Enzo was supposed to be on his best behavior.

„Aaah, the look of disdain." Julian said with a smile, amused by Enzo's confusion and distrust. „Lilly didn't mention our plan to get away? You didn't think we would stay in Mystic Falls, did you? We have no reason for it. The family that we tried to build had fallen apart, the only loyal one that stayed behind is Beau, while the rest are either dead, hungry of some pointless revenge or just too self-absorbed in a romance filled drama."

„And you think Lilly will leave her sons behind?" Enzo asked him in disbelief.

„I don't see any other option." The blonde vampire shrugged. „They've already tried to kill me several times, failed, and somehow, Lilly is still eager to defend them despite everything they've done." He said with irritation in his voice. „So, you see, if we stay here...it will only result in either of us getting killed, while the other one suffers through Lilly's bitter hatred for raising a hand on her loved one, whether it be me or her sons. So, I have to take her away. And I bloody don't plan on dragging you along."

„So, that is the reason you brought me here?"

„I want to give you a chance, Enzo." Julian stepped closer to him. „Despite this feud between us, I think we would be really good friends if we both weren't in love with the same woman."

Enzo snickered, while Julian smiled menacingly.

„I still don't see what all that has to do with the reason we're in here? Or what is 'here' at all?"

Julian nodded, taking a deep breath before he answered him.

„Over the years, as I was traveling through the world, I manage to make quite a few enemies. But, also I manage to make a few allies. And do you know who makes the best ally? Your enemy. You just have to find that one thing he wants more than your head, and once you do...the world can be a stage."

He paused, before he continued, waiting for the words to sink in.

„This is the Armory. I trust you haven't heard of them, because they are held in secrecy. They know just about every supernatural being or thing that exists in the world. They hold the supernatural world in their hands. There is nothing and no one they don't know of. No witch, no werewolf, no hybrid, _no vampire_." He put the emphasis on the last one. „And I happen to be their ally for years now. You see, they wanted to capture me after I slaughtered a village of people down in New Yorkshire, but I managed to make a deal with them. I brought them a family of witches that were killing packs of werewolves around Europe. And they gave me immunity and 8 tickets for a ship back to the USA. That is how the Armory works. I give them something they want more than me and they grant me my freedom." He finished with a smile.

„So, that's your reason for bringing me here? You want to leave the country with Lilly, so you are exporting me to them?" Enzo asked frowning, confused what exactly would this place want with him.

„Something like that." Julian shrugged.

„Well, forget it. I am not going to be anyone's prisoner. I've been one, enough time of my life." Enzo told him angrily, as he started to walk away, but the other man stopped him and pushed him back.

„They don't want you to be their prisoner, Lorenzo. They have far better plans for you. This could be your ticket to a new purpose, dear friend."

„I don't think so." He shook his head.

Julian opened his mouth to say something, but his eyes drifted behind Enzo's back, as he heard the door opening and steps coming closer.

„And I think you're about to change your mind." He said, with a devious smile.

„Hello, Julian."

A young woman with dark hair came from behind him, her eyes on Enzo the entire time, watching him with a smile on her face.

„Alex, darling. How you've been?" Julian asked her, as he approached her. He kissed her cheek, which the woman regarded with raised eyebrows and a nod. „Alex, this is the man I've been talking about, Lorenzo St John."

„Lorenzo, it's such a pleasure to finally meet you." she stepped away from Julian and extended her hand toward Enzo, which he skeptically observed.

„Whatever. I'm leaving this place." He said, casting one last look over to Julian.

„Lorenzo, wait! We haven't even talked." The woman tried to stop him, grabbing his elbow from behind. He pushed her away, turning to face her with an angry expression.

„I am not in the mood to associate myself with the people who are friends with that guy over there!" he told her pointing to Julian.

„Julian is not a friend of ours." She told him. „He's an ally, who happens to always have the ability to find just the thing we are looking for."

„So, what do you want from me?!" Enzo asked angrily. „To became the same as him? A snitch? Forget it!"

He started to leave once again, but she managed to stop him, once again.

„Enzo, you should listen to me. As I said already, Julian is not a friend, but you could be one, if you give us a chance."

„And what makes you think I would want that?"

„I propose that before we go into details, I should probably fully introduce myself to you." she said, taking a deep breath. „My name is Alexandria St John. I am the descendant of your family, Enzo. I am your family."

She shut him up. His eyes were wide and his jaw was hanging open.

„What?"

„We can talk more, but not here." She said, looking behind his back, before diverting her eyes back onto him. „We'll talk in my office, where my assistant will take you." she told him, as a tall redhead woman approached him and took his hand to lead him.

He let the woman take him away, but he was in such shock he didn't know what could he possibly say. He didn't even say another word to Julian, who watched him walk away with a satisfied smile.

Julian approached Alex when the door behind Enzo closed.

„Well, you have his attention now. What about my end of the bargain?" he said.

The woman reached into her jacket pocket for an envelope, which contained three plane tickets for him, Lily and Beau. He tried to take them from her, but she managed to snatch them away first.

„And what about the other part of the bargain?" she asked him.

Julian rolled his eyes.

„Actually, Lorenzo can give you the rest." He said with a victory smile. „He happens to know a bit more about the issue, seeing as he had spent a few years circling the same places as the witch had."

„How can I be sure you're saying the truth?" she asked him suspiciously.

„Because I already told you all I know." He said annoyingly, taking the envelope from her and checking the tickets inside. „He can tell you about Bonnie Bennett, better than I could ever. Goodbye, Alex." He said to her, before walking away.

* * *

He was walking down the empty town square, reminiscing about the time years ago. Usually, this time of year, Mystic Falls was buzzing with the number of people and energy that it held. They would be lifting up the big Christmas tree, that they would all decorate together, served homemade cookies and hot beverages, enjoying the festivities together, like one big happy family. That was what Stefan loved about his town. Despite the differences and the fact he wasn't around much, through his century and a half long existence, Mystic Falls was always his home.

And there really was no place like home.

He diverted his eyes down to the sidewalk, thinking how sad it was, seeing it like this. His hometown, empty of all the people, abandoned and forgotten. He couldn't help it, but to feel the part of his guilt in it. He knew he held the blame in turning their town into a ghost town, but he really had no other choice.

„Stefan?" he heard her voice calling for him from behind.

He turned to face her and observed her carefully. He wasn't in the mood to see her, right now. He was having a hard time dealing with Caroline's situation and to top it off, this girl was only making it worst.

Valarie was the first woman he ever loved. But, she was so different from who he thought she was. They made peace with each other, as they found common ground or better said a common enemy they decided to punish for what he did. But, that still didn't mean they were able to put everything that happened in the past behind them. Feelings were still there, and as his relationship with Caroline regressed, his feelings for Valarie intensified.

„Valarie." he stepped closer to her, noticing the expression on her face.

Something was going on. And for some reason, he welcomed the trouble she was carrying with herself. It meant he could ignore this tension between them.

„What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath before speaking.

„It's too quiet. Too peaceful. I don't like it."

„Valarie, everything is fine."

„No, it's not." She shook her head.

And she was right. Things weren't fine. Last week, they managed to pull Damon out of his funky state, to try and put down Julian together. As expected, they failed. Just when he was about to shove a stake through his heart, Lilly stopped them, by telling them she was linked to him. Which meant, if they kill Julian, they would also kill Lilly. And Stefan wasn't ready to do that. It also provoked the five hundred year old vampire to threaten them how he will find a way to get back at them.

„Haven't you heard what Julian said?" Valarie asked him.

„Yeah, a bunch of stupid things we shouldn't pay attention to. He was talking nonsense."

„No, he wasn't! You don't know him as I do. He's ruthless and cruel, and he will do anything to get back at us for trying to kill him!" she yelled.

„Valarie, he won't do anything." Stefan stepped closer to her and placed his hands over her face to try and calm her down. „Even if he had anything planned, he will back down, I'm sure."

„Why would he?" she asked him, with tears running down her cheeks.

„Because of Lilly." Stefan said, certain of his words. „We're her sons. He won't do anything to harm us. And that includes you, too."

„You trust her, don't you?" she stepped away from him, as she smiled sadly.

„She's my mother."

It was all said and done for him. No matter how loyal Lilly was to Julian, there was absolutely no way she would go against Stefan and Damon. They were her blood, and he knew she would rather die herself than let them kill each other. Which raised another problem for Stefan. He wanted to kill Julian, needed to, but he didn't want to lose his mother's love. So, once again, they were at square one.

Valarie brushed off her tears and taking a deep breath, her face expression turned more serious.

„There's something else. You need to tell your witch friend to stay away from things that are not in her domain."

Stefan frowned. He was confused by what exactly was she saying.

„You're talking about Bonnie?" he asked, but he already knew the answer. „What do you mean?"

She snorted and smiled.

„You know, back in 1860's your blinded trust in people was somewhat endearing, but not anymore."

„I have no idea what you're talking about."

The blonde rolled her eyes, not wanting to believe him, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she was aware, the witch probably wanted this to stay secret.

„Bonnie went to see Lilly the other day." She told him, and he frowned causing the wrinkles in his forehead to appear. He wanted to ask so many questions and as much as he tried to form them, only one had managed to leave his lips.

„Why?"

„I'm not sure." Valarie shrugged. „But whatever it is, it can not be good."

Her blue eyes were wide open and worried. She seemed out of breath and very distraught by what she was saying and what was going on in her mind. He would even dare to say she was a little scared of what could happen. That confused Stefan even more.

„What do you think is going on?"

„Maybe you should ask Bonnie yourself. Unless, you trust her blindly, too. Which you shouldn't, at least not anymore."

„What's that suppose to mean?"

She just snorted, shaking her head as she started to turn away from him.

„Merry Christmas, Stefan."

He wanted to ask her something more, but she was quicker in her plan to leave, so he could just watch her walk away.

* * *

When she was younger, Christmas was Bonnie's favorite holiday. She loved it because she would spend it with her family and friends, the people she loved and cared for. But, last few years, it had become an endless reminder of all the loved ones she had lost and that her friends had lost. And, last Christmas she spent all alone, in a prison world, where no one else beside her existed, thinking how she was never gonna be reunited with her friends and decorating a tree that she lastly set on fire.

So, she couldn't say this year wasn't going better. She spent the better part of the day, doing charity work of bringing toys for the children's hospital, along with Nora by her side. She struck up a fairly good friendship with the heretic, despite everything. It was fun and easy with her, probably because they had so much in common. They were both abandoned by their mothers, even though Nora had found another mother figure in Lilly. They both had only cared about the well-being of their friends, that they considered family and recently they both lost very important persons in their lives. Bonnie lost Damon and Nora lost Mary Louise.

Although, it seemed the heretic was dealing better with her post-breakup depression than Bonnie was.

Sorting out the toys into boxes, Bonnie saw a cute pixie cut girl smiling in her direction. Frowning, she looked behind herself and noticed Nora was wiggling her fingers and smiling back at the girl. Widening her eyes in surprise, she waited until the other girl was gone, before she walked over to the heretic.

„What was that about?"

„Oh, that was Marissa. My new lab partner in Chemistry 101."

„I thought I was your lab partner." Bonnie said pouting, feeling a little offended.

„Yeah." Nora nodded her head and then her mouth curved into a wicked smile. „But, that was before she passed my private oral exam last week."

Bonnie rolled her eyes.

„Okay. First of, eew. Second. I can't believe you've already moved on from your evil-Barbie-doll-ex-girlfriend. What happened to you trying to find yourself again and be your own person for a while?"

„That's me doing it." The heretic nodded her head, looking at the witch that shook her head disbelievingly. „Look, I am not jumping into a new relationship if that's what you think. The scars Mary Lou left are too fresh for that. But, I welcome a distraction, so my nights wouldn't consist of eating garbage food and crying myself to sleep."

„And what about Marissa? She is a real living girl who has her own feelings and you're still not over Mary Louise?" Bonnie asked her, crossing her arms under her chest.

„She knows that I just broke up with my long-term girlfriend and that I am not looking for anything serious. She knows what she's getting herself into and where I stand." The brunette sighed and bowed her head a little. „I am not over my ex. I loved her too much and for too long to forget her over one good shag. And if it came down to a choice, I wouldn't even blink at the new girl and throw myself to Mary Lou, if she asked me."

„Talk about low self-esteem." Bonnie mumbled.

„It has nothing to do with self-esteem." Nora said offended. „It's love. A love I feel for her that is more powerful and stronger than any of the fights we had or might have."

„Than why did you broke up with her if you still want to be together?"

„It was in a heat of a moment." Nora shrugged. „She was being possessive and selfish, but she had her reasons."

„Like love?" Bonnie asked mockingly.

„Yes." Nora argued. „But, that doesn't mean I will let her step over me. She needs to come to me and apologize to me."

„And an apology is enough for you to forgive?"

Before she answered the question, Nora took a good look at Bonnie. She was bitter and angry these last few days. She knew the reason for her conduct. Damon Salvatore, the evil spawn of Lilly. She didn't know him well enough, but she noticed the relationship between him and Bonnie was a lot more complicated than anyone seemed to think. There was so much more than simple friendship feelings there, and she suspected that exactly was the reason for the quarrel between the vampire and the witch.

„Bonnie, you're a smart girl and on top of that a witch." She started but didn't continue until Bonnie looked back at her. „Being mad at someone doesn't soul a purpose, because you're not really angry with that person. You're angry with yourself, for letting that person have that much influence and ability to hurt you. And being mad at yourself is the worst thing that can happen to a witch because we have a different way of dealing with that anger and possibly opening out a door that is very hard to close. Don't let your anger do that to you."

Bonnie wanted to say something to contradict the heretic, but in reality, she had no answer to that. She knew the other girl was telling the truth.

„Come on, we have children's faces we need to put a smile on." Her heretic friend told her, as she picked up one of the boxes and started to walk away.

* * *

Later that evening, as she was sitting at the old Forbes family house, she kept thinking back to Nora's words. She hated how much truth echoed in what she said to her and she kept asking herself what could she possibly do to change it.

She looked around the living room, that was decorated in real Caroline fashion, with flickering Christmas lights, stockings hanging over the fireplace, a giant Christmas tree in the middle of the living room, twinkling with glistening ornaments, and an obscene number of brightly colored gifts under it. The table in front of her was full of freshly baked Christmas cookies, gingerbread, homemade eggnog and hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and sprinkled with cocoa powder. The fire was lighted in the fireplace and she was sitting on the couch next to Matt and Caroline, while Alaric and Stefan occupied the wing back chairs on each side.

Caroline insisted they all come together tonight so they could exchange presents. It felt weird because most of the people they used to spend the holidays around before, were missing. Elena, Jeremy, Tyler and their family members, Caroline's mom, Bonnie's dad, and her Grams. And then, of course, there was one more person that was absent, and even though he wasn't around much before, he became a vital part of the _gang_. So, naturally, everybody felt his absence. But, Damon was asked (ordered) by Caroline not to show his face and ruin the holidays.

„Wow, so pretty!" Caroline falsely beamed over the silver necklace Bonnie gave her.

She chuckled amusingly, as her blonde friend observed the weirdly designed necklace. It was a 36 inches long silver necklace, with a luminous sterling silver plated ball as a pendant.

„It's called an _Angel Caller_ or _Bola_. It's an ancestral jewelry worn by mothers to protect them during pregnancy, and also to calm the newborn babies. It's made of silver, which symbolizes charity and gentleness, and the harmony ball contains a tinkling bell which sends gentle and soothing sounds to your growing fetuses." She told to Caroline, and then she turned to face Ric. „Also, after birth, the familiar soothing sound will reassure and calm the babies, as a reminder of the warmth and comfort of the womb and the invisible presence of the mother. It makes a magical keepsake to cherish as your babies grow up."

She looked back at the blonde vampire that was staring at the necklace with some kind of new found fascination.

These last couple of weeks have been very heavy on her. Apparently, since the pregnancy was basically cloaked, so was her outgrowing stomach. In a verity of just a couple of days, she managed to get 12 pounds, which put her in about 22 weeks of pregnancy already. Aside from the fact she was gaining weight by the minute and being magically pregnant with her high school history teacher's (nowadays college professor's) babies, it was taking a toll on her health. She was tired all the time and she had muscle pains, backaches, and heartburn and on top of all, she felt all her energy was being drained out of her. And all of it, despite being a vampire and a fast healing supernatural, the babies seemed to be more powerful than her.

Bonnie knew how much everything was hard on Caroline. Besides all of that, it was affecting her and Stefan's relationship, too. It was kind of ironic that these couple of weeks he was depressed and not acting like himself, because he found out he was so close to being a father and it was cruelly taken from him, and now, his girlfriend was magically pregnant with some other guy's babies. It was a definite mind fuck on them both.

„This is beautiful. Thank you so much, Bonnie." Caroline said touched, with her wide blue eyes filled with tears.

„It really is." Ric confirmed. „Thank you."

„Of course." She smiled at them both, and from the corner of her eye, she noticed Stefan's nervous face and obvious discomfort with the situation.

„So, I guess that's it!" the blonde announced, as she set the necklace back in the box, probably sensing her boyfriend's change of attitude.

„Actually...I have one more..." Ric started hesitantly, as he reached behind his seat and took a craft gift bag in his hands. „For you, Bonnie."

„Ric, you already gave me the perfume and it's more than enough." She tilted her head and smiled.

„I know..." he nodded his head and looked at the floor. „But...this isn't really from me."

She thought about asking from who it was then, but it wasn't necessary. Ric's facial expression said it all.

She looked over the bag and then at the rest of the people in the room, who were all quiet and waiting for her to do or say something. Nobody knew what exactly happened between her and Damon, but they also knew not to push it and demand to know. They respected their privacy and were well aware, when the two of them were in nonspeaking terms, it was best to leave it behind.

„I don't want it." She said.

„Bonnie..." Ric tried, but she shook her head stubbornly.

„No."

„Look, nobody's forcing you to take it..." he stated, as he pushed the bag furthermore in her direction, „But, I really think you should."

She eyed the man in question and the bag, not noticing that everybody in the room was waiting carefully for her move. Seeing her indecisiveness, Ric placed the bag on the table in front of her, letting her decide later. She swallowed hard and taking a deep breath, she stood up abruptly from the couch.

„I'm gonna get some more eggnog." She left to the kitchen in a hurry.

„You know what it's time for?" Caroline decided to move along. „Christmas carols."

A sound of 'oh no's and heavy sighing echoed the living room.

„Hey."

You know you must've done something bad when you got Stefan Salvatore walking towards you, in a careful step with his concerned facial expression. Bonnie looked over her shoulder and smiled at him before she turned back and poured some more eggnog into her cup. He stood beside her and extended his own cup, wordlessly asking her to pour him, too, which she did.

„That was really nice of you. That gift for Caroline...and Ric, I guess." He mumbled before he took his cup back from her.

He cleared his throat and took a sip of the eggnog. Bonnie could feel the discomfort from him and it made her feel a little guilty.

„I didn't mean to make it weird..."

„What?" Stefan raised his confused look to her and then than shook his head. „Oh, no, no. Don't be ridiculous. Please. It's fine."

„Okay." she mumbled.

He said it was fine, but clearly, it wasn't. But, he didn't want to talk about _that_ , Bonnie was sure. He followed her in the kitchen, for a different reason. This was just a conversation opener, it was how he always did things. He would mention something that was clearly making him uncomfortable, closing the issue soon enough, so he could switch to the real problem in hand. Only this time he had a problem with approaching the subject and it was starting to irritate Bonnie a little. Mostly because she already knew what he wanted to talk about.

„Do you need something, Stefan?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

„Oh, no, no. Not really." He cleared his throat again. „I was...just...I just wanted to see how you were."

„I'm good. You?"

„You know...I'm good." He nodded.

„Great." She nodded.

He diverted his eyes to the floor once again, before he took some courage to look back into her eyes.

„How...how are you handling everything...considering...your _situation_ with Damon?" he asked slowly and carefully pronouncing the words.

„There is no _situation_." She said coldly. „I just want to forget your brother exists. That's all."

„How long is that going to last?" he asked, the tone of his voice mocking and amusing.

He clearly didn't trust the grudge Bonnie held against Damon, and in reality, she couldn't exactly blame him for that. They always had silly little fights that lasted a day or two, tops, and then they would be back to the old them like nothing happened. Stefan didn't know the truth of what was happening between them, so really it could be just about anything.

„Sorry." He must've noticed the disbelief on Bonnie's face with his statement, so he quickly changed his demeanor. „I know my brother is a pain in the ass, but he's also the kind of person who doesn't give up on the people he cares about. And I know for sure, that he cares deeply about you, Bonnie."

„Stefan, I appreciate the concern, but I don't want to talk about your brother anymore." He was making her uncomfortable now.

„Sorry, sorry. I won't talk about him anymore. Okay?" he quickly stopped her from trying to leave the kitchen and this conversation. „There is actually something else I wanted to tell you. If I can."

„Sure. What's on your mind?"

„I know I haven't always been the greatest friend to you. We never really connected, not the way you and...my brother did. But, that doesn't mean I don't consider you a friend or that I somehow don't care about you. So, if you are in need to talk about anything ever...you shouldn't hesitate. I want you to know that...you can talk to me. I will always be there if you need me. For anything."

Bonnie frowned at him. This was a surprise for her. Stefan and her never really talked about the nature of their relationship and he never expressed where he stood with her, so hearing him say something like that, kind of shocked her. But, she knew there must be something else here. There must've been a reason for him to say this to her.

„Why exactly are you saying this to me?" she flat out asked him.

„Because...you should feel confident enough to turn to your friends in need. Not to someone else."

Slowly, she was starting to realize what was going on. She knew it was only a matter of time when Valarie would spill the beans about seeing her at Lilly's.

„Someone else? Like...?" she asked, feigning ignorance.

Stefan smiled bitterly, as he looked down to his shoes. He knew she was aware where this conversation was going. He got serious as he raised his eyes back at her.

„Look, I love my mother. Despite everything she's done and everything that happened, I love her. But, I don't trust her. And neither should you."

Bonnie observed him for a moment.

This was the problem. This was the reason she couldn't develop a better connection with him. Stefan could say it, again and again, he didn't trust Lilly, but Bonnie knew the truth. He absolutely did. He had this blind belief in people that didn't deserve it. Always believing in giving them a second chance despite everything they did.

Not, that Bonnie never did that. She might've believed that Lilly still had a chance to redeem what she did in the past, but only if she was willing to change and realize, she surrounded herself with the wrong people. She lost almost her entire heretic family, that she still chose over her own sons, because of Julian and still she didn't give up on him.

So, if Stefan could trust his mother, why did he have a problem with Bonnie hanging around with her?

That could only mean one thing. He didn't trust to Bonnie herself.

And that pissed her off. Was she less trustworthy than the ripper-mother vampire that was blinded with her evil vampire boyfriend? She didn't think she should be convincing them she was at their side, not after everything they went through together. She was sick of everybody always questioning her and wanting to know the reason for every little thing she did. She never did that to them.

„Thank you for your concern, Stefan." She told him angrily. „But, you can sleep peacefully at night. I'm not an idiot. I didn't trust Lilly from the moment I laid my eyes on her. An unlike you, my feelings towards her won't mask my relationship with her. Not that there is any relationship, but..."

„Bonnie, I didn't mean-"

„Whatever!" she cut him off, taking a generous sip of her eggnog and started to leave the kitchen. „I think I'm gonna go sing some Christmas carols."

* * *

She sat at the same place on the couch, later that night, by the fireplace, sipping her who-knows-what cup of eggnog and listening to the famous Caroline's X-mas fun-mix CD. Everybody was still there except for Matt, who left earlier.

Bonnie was leaning her head over the couch backrest and eyeing the bag that was still on the table. She was going through her list of reasons not to open it and not to accept it. There were soooo many of them. But, there was also one on the pro list, that was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

She was curious.

„He didn't buy it for Christmas." Ric told her all of the sudden.

„What?" she looked over to the man.

He must've noticed where her eyes were running over all night. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looking into her eyes.

„He thought of it, months ago and asked me to help him with it. He wanted you to have it because he thought you deserved it and I am 100% in agreement with him."

She was surprised by Ric's words and even more curious of what kind of gift could it possibly be. But, she stayed silent while he continued to talk.

„Now, I helped a little, because I had some connections in Europe, so I put the order down, but it was entirely his idea and his design. I wish I could say I participated in it, but it was all Damon. This is a really cool gift, Bonnie." he seemed excited about it and it peeked Bonnie's interest a little more. „Besides, I don't even think he knows it's here, anyway. It was delivered to my apartment this morning."

She still stayed silent, debating on her decision. Caroline and Stefan were also present, but they kept quiet the entire time. Bonnie sighed heavily, so Ric continued.

„I understand what it means to be mad at him. I don't know why you're mad with him, but...I do know how it is. It's like every single nerve in your body is screaming at you to drive a stake through his heart and just be done with it." He snickered, taking a sip of eggnog. „But, there's also that small little piece telling you to forgive him and move on. And that small part seems stronger than the rest of you. Despite what he does and how he does it."

„I don't think I have that small part anymore." She said earnestly, shaking her head in regret. „I might've had it before...but now...I can't find it."

„You can." He said, as he sat up straighter and looked her in the eye, sympathetically. He pointed to the bag on the table and tilted his head to the side. „Otherwise, this would in ashes already."

„Okay." She took a deep breath and placed the bag in her lap. Slowly she opened it and took the item out, to reveal what it was.

She gasped when she realized what she held in her hands.

The design was very simple and somber. The hardcover was made of black leather, and it looked like it was dyed and antiqued by hand. The spine of it was designed to resemble an old book. And on the front page it was an engraved symbol. She took it out of the bag completely, letting it fall down to the floor, as she held the heavy book in her hands and carefully observed it.

She looked back at Ric, who was grinning like he was the one who received the gift, as he nodded to her and signaled her to go on.

„Is that a grimoire?" she heard Caroline's curious voice somewhere in the distance.

 _It was a grimoire_ , her mind answered her, but Bonnie knew it wasn't just _any_ grimore. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she already knew what it was, but she just didn't want to believe it yet.

Slowly, she opened the book and looked the inside of it. The pages were making a surprising contrast to the exterior and were made of a beautiful marbled paper with red, brown and yellow veins. She knew this material, it was specified for Calligraphy writing. The paper was also acid-free and did not bleed through.

„Why is it blank?" Caroline commented again, her eyebrows going up.

Instead of answering, Bonnie flipped the pages back to the first one, on which she could see the same symbol from the cover in a smaller form and suddenly she remembered where she had already seen it. It was the Ankh cross, an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic symbol for life, also called the bow of life, because of the combination of a circle and a cross, which was a sign of a spiritual and material combination, a symbol of initiation, a second birth, and a symbol of the vision of the etheric worlds.

To someone else, this would seem to be just a blank book with a weird looking sign over it, but to her, it was much more.

It was perfect.

.

 _Prison world, 1994._

„ _You should write your own."_

 _Damon said to her one day, as she sat at the patio furniture set behind the boarding house, looking at the large backyard, that expanded to the woods. She was reading her Grams' grimoire, looking for a way to connect with her magic. Most days, Damon was completely against it, but there were days where he just let her do her own thing. It was the thing that gave her some kind of purpose, at least._

„ _What?" she raised her to look over to him, sitting on the opposite of her, nursing what she guessed was his second bottle of bourbon today._

„ _Grimore." He pointed to the item in her hand. „You should write your own. Every witch has it. Her own cookbook, where she writes about all the spells and magic things she experienced so that she can pass it on to the next generations. You should write your own."_

 _She waited for a long time, for him to say the punch line, to burst into a mocking laughter or something. He didn't._

„ _I don't think I could do that." She said, diverting her look down to the book in her lap._

„ _Why not?"_

„ _Because I'm not a witch anymore." She said angrily, looking back at him. He was usually the one that reminded her of that, not the other way around. „I haven't been a witch for a long time now. It wouldn't be right."_

„ _So what?" He shrugged. „What if you do get your powers back one day?"_

 _She snickered. She couldn't believe they were having this conversation. She kept waiting for him to wipe off that serious look on his face and admit he was just screwing with her, because he was bored or drunk. Or both._

 _But, again, he didn't. He looked like he really wanted to know the reason. Why she thought she couldn't do this, why did she find it ridiculous to even discuss it._

 _She sighed before she managed to get enough bravery to find an answer._

„ _I don't know." She shrugged and then shook her head. „Grimoires cannot be written just by anyone. You know, there's got a be a certain knowledge and experience for a witch to do that. She has to be level-minded, reasonable, a witch who knows the difference between right and wrong, good and bad. Someone who can teach the next generation something valuable. I'm still struggling with myself and some of the choices I made over the years. I don't think I could say anything smart. Besides, who would trust a former witch like me?"_

 _She got back to reading the grimoire, thinking the conversation was over, but she could see Damon contemplating on what she said._

„ _That's baloney!" he said all of the sudden, making her look up at him with wide eyes and a shocked face expression._

„ _What?" she asked him, watching him lean closer over the table to her._

„ _Life isn't black and white. Neither is magic. It's 50 freaking shads of grey and I don't mean the book when I say it. I agree that a witch has to have some experience in her if she's about to write something down. But, I don't think that a grimoire with just listed spells out is going to be of help to anyone. Magic is messy and hard and getting in touch with it, means not only gaining something of it but also losing a lot. I know you have more experience with all that shit than most of them will face in a lifetime." He took a sip from his bourbon, before continuing._

„ _Also, 'who would trust a witch like you?'" he asked, imitating her voice and rolling his eyes, before he looked back at her, looking soberer as ever, with absolute certainty and trust in his next words._

„ _I would. In a heartbeat. You died twice already...and you're still fighting. There's no better person than you to write a real grimoire, Bonnie."_

 _._

That day in the prison world was the first time, Damon ever expressed his belief in her. She was pretty sure he was hammered from the bourbon, but that still hadn't lower some of the things he said to her. It was the moment she started to believe in Damon Salvatore, as well. Because, if he could overlook all the bad blood between them until that point, and let's be real, there was a lot of it, and still admit he had that much trust in her, maybe she could, too.

As she recalled his words to her, she traced with her fingers over the letters that were written just beneath the Ankh cross, in the beautiful italic font, _Bonnie Sheila Bennett_.

A sad smile slowly stretched over her face, as tears filled her eyes.

„Bonnie, are you okay?" she could hear Caroline asking her.

She looked to the side at her best friend and nodded to her.

„Yeah. I'll be fine." She said, but the truth was, she wasn't so sure she would ever be fine again.

* * *

It was around midnight by the time Bonnie got home. She decided to spend the night at her old family house, even though Caroline suggested a couple of times, she could crash at the Forbes family house. But, she could see Stefan was resisting to go home yet, probably in a plan to try and solve some issues he and his girlfriend had at the time. Besides, Bonnie wanted to rest. She had an exhausting day today and she really needed some peace and quiet all to herself.

She should've known something like that was impossible in Mystic Falls.

Parking her Prius at the driveway, she exited the car and started walking towards the house. She was carrying her purse, as well as two big bags full of presents she received tonight, along with the doggy bag, Caroline made for her, that consisted of cookies and eggnog, while twiddling the keys in her fingers. Just as she stepped on the porch, she heard someone from the side.

„Hi."

The voice from the dark surprised her before she even had the time to inspect it. She looked to her left and saw him emerge from the shadows.

He looked like he always did. Pale white skin, striking blue eyes, and strong body posture. But, there was an unusual look in his eyes, one she thought she never saw on him before. A look of remorse. It made her almost wince for a second, but she managed to stay cold.

„What are you doing here?" she asked him, not bothering with saying a simple hello but going straight to the point.

„I was in the neighborhood." He tried to joke, standing in the same place.

Bonnie nodded her head and turned away so she could proceed to go inside her house.

„Wait, Bonnie." he stepped closer, stopping her intentions.

„What?!" she asked angrily as she hooked the key into the keyhole and stepped away from the door to turn back to him. She was angry and she was quite sure he could see it on her face. „What do you want?"

„I want to talk." He said as calm as he could.

„I said everything I wanted to say to you, Damon."

„I didn't."

„Am I suppose to care?"

Damon sighed exasperated, his eyes closing and opening again.

„Can you give me five minutes...in the spirit of Christmas?"

Again, he had put her into an impossible situation. If she said no, he would pester her relentlessly, all the time, until she would give up and gave him the time. But, then again, if she agreed to hear him out, it could mean she was too weak to say no to him. So, she decided to put it on her terms.

„One minute." She said, crossing her arms under her chest.

He nodded his head, knowing he should take what she was giving to him.

„I have..." he cleared his throat, „I have something for you." he said, walking closer to her and revealing a box he was holding behind his back, this entire time. It was wrapped into a light blue paper and had a purple bow stuck on it.

She tentatively took it from him, not really sure if she even should, but she did promise him one minute, so why not? She sighed hard before opening it. Pieces of the wrapping paper fell on the ground, as she lifted the lid up and took out a peach oversized knitted sweater.

It was actually pretty nice.

„I'm not very good at gifting..." he cleared his throat. „But, according to Caroline Forbes's twitter account, there are three perfect Christmas gifts for a woman. A sweater, jewelry or something of cosmetics."

Two things got stuck in her mind. First one was: Damon Salvatore was following Caroline Forbes on twitter. She snickered internally. And second: all the things she was given tonight, were the items Damon just listed. She got a perfume from Alaric, a pair of earrings from Stefan and another sweater from Matt. And of course, there was another gift from Damon, the one that didn't fall into the categories above and the one, she hated to admit, she loved the most.

„Do you like it?" he asked her hopefully.

She raised her eyes to his and pursed her lips, contemplating on the answer. It was a sweater. A sweater wasn't the thing that was going to right the situation between them, and she knew Damon was aware of it, too. So, that meant, the sweater was just an excuse to get her to talk to him. And she wasn't sure, she wanted that. She swallowed hard, before diverting her eyes away from him.

„What do you want, Damon?" she asked him again.

„I miss you, Bonnie." He admitted quietly.

She cast her eyes back to his intense ones and she could she see the honesty in them. But, she never really doubted that with Damon. She knew he considered her a friend and he was bound to miss his friends when they weren't around. The problem was he took the people around him for granted. And she was one of them. She felt like she was just a tool for him to pass the time with, while he waited for his girlfriend to wake up from a sleeping coma.

As she looked up into his face, that was desperately waiting for an answer from her, she realized something.

Damon was like a poison. She could feel him flowing through her blood, in every part and fiber of her body, tainting her essence with his addictive substance. He immersed himself into her life like a snake, that she didn't even realize that he had become a constant in it. But, she wanted him near, she loved the way they functioned, the way they depended on each other, the way they had each other's back and the way he could always make a bad day going into something good. Even though everybody around them kept saying it was unhealthy. And it probably was. That was the reason why she felt such pain when she cut him out of her life. It was like she cut out a part of herself.

„I miss you, too." she said honestly, her voice small and almost fearful. She could see him crack a little smile, glad of hearing her words.

„Then, can we go back to the way things were before?"

„No." She shook her head, watching his face fall down.

As much as she wanted to, she couldn't let him lure her back into his spell. She still had her dignity and she wanted to preserve it.

„Why?"

„Because I don't even know what we would go back to."

„Us. We'd go back to...being _us_."

„What does that mean?"

He didn't have an answer for that. He wanted her back in his life, but he didn't even know in what capacity. Everything came falling apart with his actions. He destroyed the relationship he treasured most in his entire existence, and hurt the person he loved in an unearthly way. He couldn't say she was his friend, because that was demeaning her role, he couldn't say she was his best friend, because last he checked best friends didn't roll around the sheets together. But saying that she was something more than that, held the possibility of changing his life forever and letting go of the kind of future he already had planned out.

Because he couldn't deny there was still another girl that held his attention in the same way Bonnie started to. And he went through hell to get that. He fought for her, crossed over a number of dead bodies and made sure she was always aware of his devotion to her.

Was he about to change that? Was he really ready to let Elena go?

But, before he could answer that to himself, he heard her talking again.

„I got your gift." She said and he frowned in confusion. He observed her as she took one of the bags she brought with her and took out a big heavy book. When she turned it to him so he could see the front, he recognized the sign on it. He didn't know how exactly did she get it, but was he glad she did.

„Ric gave it to me. Apparently, it was delivered this morning to his address, so..."

„Do you like it?"

She took a deep breath.

„I do." She hugged the book tightly to her chest and smiled lightly.

The feeling that struck through him was so strange. Like a lightning bolt that you could see but not hear. It lasted for just a second, but he was quite sure he saw it. It was frightening, but soothing at the same time. That look in her eyes, the smile she kept fighting so hard, just her standing there, in front of him, seemed to light up his dark world. Everything else was incomparable to this. To her. And that feeling soon stretched to a crippling one, because he didn't want her to leave his world. He wanted for her to stay.

Because it was inevitable. She would leave and he would stay behind, with his heart and soul crushed, just like the pieces of the crystal that she shattered that morning a week ago in his kitchen. He couldn't let that happen. Maybe he didn't have all the answers right now, like who she was exactly to him or what could he promise her if she did take on his suggestion to go back to being them...but he knew he didn't want to lose the possibility of having someone as remarkable as Bonnie Bennett in his life.

„It's late...I should go inside." She said.

He watched as she turned around, reaching for the bags that were sitting by the door and pushing them open once she unlocked them.

„Why are you making this so hard?" he asked frustrated, making her stop in her tracks and facing him again. „How long are we going to pretend that we are not friends? How long are you going to pretend that there's nothing between us?"

„You think I'm pretending?" her eyes widen and eyebrows raised.

„You are." He answered with a huff. „You miss me I miss you. Let's just stop with the charades and go back to the way things were before."

„We can go back to how it was before!" she raised her voice and her shoulders hunched down.

"Bonnie, I'm sorry-"

„What you did is unforgivable!" she cut him off, not wanting to hear his apology.

„Bonnie..."

„No, Damon! You played with my mind-"

„I did it to protect you!"

„Protect me?!" she snorted „From what? What the hell were you protecting me from!?"

„Me! I was trying to protect you from me!" he yelled and shut her off suddenly, feeling annoyed with her stubbornness and deliberate ignorance which she held on so tightly just to keep him away.

Why couldn't she understand this? How didn't she got it already? This woman was smart, smarter then most people he had ever met, and yet, she still couldn't crack this mystery. She wasn't that foolish. She was aware of their connection that went over any kind of friendship, and that was the reason she wanted to put so much space between them, it was the reason she chose to put some stupid college guy between them, so she could try and shook him off. But, it didn't work. He was back in her life in a jiffy, because they weren't able to stay away from each other for too long. And she knew the reason why he did this, why he erased the memories of their night together, but still kept her close to himself. She knew why. He didn't need to spell it out to her, but she was making him do it.

He walked over to her in calculated terrifying steps, making her walk backwards into the house. There was absolutely no question of the invitation he needed because he already had it from before. As he stepped over the threshold and proceed his march over to her, she dropped the bags from her hands and gasped once she realized he had her back against the wall, with no escape what so ever. He trapped her between the wall and his body, holding his hands pressed on the surface just above her head.

„I'm a bad guy, Bonnie! I am cruel and selfish and some may even say I'm a sociopath. I ruin lives, I take things away from people, I torture them, I kill them! And I enjoy it! I don't think there is a thing that's rotten more than I am! I ruined my brother, I ruined the woman I loved, and the people around her! I ruined my second chance to renew a relationship with my mother for whom I thought was dead! I ruin everything!" he slapped the wall above her head, making her blink in sync with the punch.

She had to remind herself to breathe, feeling the way his eyes were seizing her up, as he let his hand slide down to her hip, squeezing it with his fingers and letting out a grunt from the back of his throat. He closed his eyes, bit into his bottom lip and, as he made himself gain some control, slowly backed away and looked up in her eyes.

„But I refused to ruin you. I didn't want to do that. Because you don't deserve it."

She swallowed hard and then frowned.

„So, you did right by me, by doing wrong by me? Taking away my free will? You thought that was the right thing to do?" she asked, out of breath.

He stepped away from her, giving her space and looking away from her.

„I know I made a mistake and I am sorry for that, but I am trying to explain myself, so you would understand that what I did...I had a reason for it. I know it was wrong, but I didn't want you to feel guilty."

Bonnie pushed off the wall and forced herself to look him in the eyes, that refused to look her back.

„What we did,...that takes two people to make that kind of choice. I am not going to cover myself in shame or even try to justify myself by being drunk, or sad, or mad or depressed! I'm well aware of what happened and why did it happen." He finally looked back at her, and she licked her lips. „You erasing that night from my memory did nothing to the reason why it happened in the first place."

He tilted his head to the side. His eyes followed the curve of her lips, and he felt the air thickening around them.

„Why?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper.

A look of apprehensiveness colored her face and he didn't want her to start over-analyzing and going in a direction he refused to question himself. He wanted a honest answer, he wanted to know what she felt, not thought about it.

So, he pressed himself closer to her, once again backing her up against the wall, reminding her of all the times he did that before and just to what that led to.

„Damon..." she tried to warn him, but he could hear the husky tone in her own voice.

He raised his hand and caressed her cheek, breathing in her scent. Her breath hitched when he dropped his face to the column of her neck, wanting to taste her sweet blood. God, how he missed her scent. The strawberries and cinnamon in her hair, and the buttermilk on her skin. He wanted nothing more than to get lost in the mix of those flavors.

His hand wrapped around the back of her neck, as his lips pressed over her carotid. Her head fell back, against her better judgment, granting him an even better access. He could smell her arousal that was damping her panties and hear the rapid blood pumping in her veins, and he couldn't decide what he wanted to devour more. He sucked on the skin of her neck, ran his tongue over it, nibbled on it and grazed it with his fangs, but he never broke it.

„Whatever you want me to do to you, I'll do it." He told her breathlessly, desperate for her. „Just tell me."

„We can't..." she whimpered and he raised is head to look her in the eye.

„Why not?"

„You know why. Ele-"

„I want you, Bonnie. You!" he cut her off, not even wanting to hear her say that name, because the repercussions of it might just kill him right now. He rested his forehead against hers as his hands slipped down her body to the curve of her ass. „And I know you want me, too."

It didn't took long for her, as she grabbed his head with both her hands and made him look up at her. She was the epitome of beauty. Her eyes screamed desire, her flushed skin and full plush lips were everything he wanted.

„Touch me, Damon." She whispered in a commanding tone, her long fingers playing with the smooth ends of his hair.

He didn't need anything more than that. He kissed her lips tenderly, before inserting his tongue and let it dace around with hers. She slid his jacket off easily, letting it fall down to the floor, as he did the same to her coat. As their kiss grew more intense and sloppy, the rest of their clothes slowly found their way to the floor, too. In a matter of seconds, they were already in her room, falling down on the mattress. With his lips back on her neck, nibbling and sucking on the tender skin, he dragged his hands up and down her body, caressing her breasts, pinching her nipples on the way, trailing further down, over her stomach and finally down to her panties.

She was fully aware of how easily she let them go down that road again, but she also knew there was no way she was about to let go everything he did to her. She could only let herself enjoy, while it last, knowing that with the sunrise, new problems will raise, too. But, she would be ready for that. She just needed to feel him like this once more.

So, she let herself indulge into her passion once more, not wanting to think what consequences of tomorrow would bring. She still had hours till morning and she was going to make the most of it with Damon.

* * *

 _ **Yes! I finally managed t**_ _ ** _ **o get this chapter out**_! **_

_**I started to write it down about three weeks ago and then I realized I was getting ahead of myself and I actually wrote a chunk of it that was suppose to be in the next chapter. So, I got frustrated and switched to my other story ( Thank you for the memories), but I got stuck at one final scene there and then I got back to this one. But, for those who are following the other story, you will be pleased to know that I am working on it and I am hoping to have an update in a couple of days. **_

_**As for this one...Let's start from the beginning.**_

 _ **I actually had a different flash forward written, but I realized it will fit better in the next chapter. This one was Enzo's, who I wasn't planning on including his flash forward, but since he will have a minor role in the future, I thought why not? What did you think of it? He's got some lady for him in the future, but her identity will stay secret for now. Julian is plotting something, while the rest of them are celebrating the Christmas holidays. I am starting to include Stefan more in the story, because he will have a big role in the future. And I mean really BIG! Caroline's pregnancy is also very important in the plot and you'll see how in the next chapter. How about that Damon's present for Bonnie? It kind of mellowed her down, so she fell into his web again. But, you can be sure, Bon Bon will not rest until she gets back at Damon for screwing with her memories. **_

_**Also, one little note. I am cutting out Rayna the huntress storyline, because it was a drag for me in the canon and it will not make any difference for my plot. But, the Armory is here and it will be different than on the show.**_

 _ **I hope you guys liked this chapter, please leave a review and tell me what you thought of it. They inspire me to write.**_

 _ **Thank you for following and reading, and sorry for the long AN. ;)  
**_

 _ **Soundtracks for this chapter:**_

 _ **Rhys Lewis - Be Your Man; Lewis Capaldi - Bruises; Lily Allen - Somewhere Only We Know; Barbarossa - The Load**_


End file.
